Wistful Hearts 12/?
Title: Wistful Hearts
Part:12
Groups: SHINee, U-Kiss, 2PM, SNSD, possibly more
Pairings: (main) Jonghyun/Taemin, Onew/Key, Nichkhun/Minho
Rating: PG-13 (this chapter)
Summary: Jonghyun's the school bad boy who cuts class, gets into fights, and doesn't think he's capable of loving. But deep down he's different. Jinki's his best friend from childhood and the school president, who's just trying to get the most popular boy in school to notice him. Key's known by everyone, and though he's practically worshiped and acts so self-confident, he's got dark things hidden inside. Minho, the soccer team's ace player is looking for something interesting to happen in his life and wants someone he can love to come along, even when there's someone right beside him. And Taemin's a freshman whose dedication is torn between what he wants and what his parents want, his dreams feeling out of reach because he's just “too young to know any better”. When these five are brought together, the occurrences afterward are filled with heartbreak and sorrow, but also with happiness, fun, and love.
A/N: high school AU fic~ finally updated! OMG XD in case there are new readers who want to catch up, this fic has its own tag on my LJ so its easy to find! dedicated to bopeep_achu as always <3 as well as taemin_knees because she made me smile when I really needed it =] part of this was taken from a drabble I did before which inspired this whole series~ random! Comments are very appreciated! Hope you enjoy reading!
It had taken Taemin a long time to finally come to the decision that he was going to tell Jonghyun how he felt. Many events had had to occur, like his near-drowning and so on, and after it all, he had fully realized that he was falling in love with the other male.
It was still a bit shocking for him to think about, but he was indeed sure that that was how he felt towards him. Even though he could be an asshole sometimes - make that most of the time - and treated him like a kid, not to mention the fact that he was a trouble-maker who drank and did who knows what other things, he still liked him.
However, if that had just been it, he wouldn’t have wanted to tell him. He wouldn’t have for fear of rejection of course, because he’d never really liked someone before, it was all new to him, and he didn’t want to be told that the feelings were one-sided. Dongho and many of his other friends had told him about some of their confessions that had ended badly, and he definitely did not want that to happen to him. But the thing was that he didn’t think that something like that would occur.
The reason for that was simple; he believed that Jonghyun liked him back.
Why else would they be so close now? If they’d only had a platonic relationship, he was sure that the junior would have just ignored him most of the time unless he was forced to associate with him. However, on many occasions he was the one to come seeking Taemin, to hang out or talk. If Jonghyun didn’t like him, even only a little bit, wouldn’t he have just talked to him during their tutoring sessions or when they hung out with mutual friends?
There was also the little detail that they had kissed, and shared many other moments that were surely on the brink of being romantic. Whenever they spent time together there was this sense of rightness and happiness that would be in the air, even if one was taunting the other or if they were having a mild argument over something stupid. The feelings were there, he knew it. It couldn’t just be him, couldn’t be his imagination or just something that he alone felt.
Right?
His insecurity continued to rise and increase as the hours passed, awaiting the end of the day with an odd anticipation that made his stomach toss and turn. He’d been able to go back to his classes because Nurse Ga In had given him the green light after she gave him another physical check earlier. The minutes ticked by slowly, almost at a snail’s pace, to him, but finally classes were finished, and Taemin went out to the dormitory in search of Jonghyun.
He spotted the blonde and brown haired teenager easily. He was standing around talking with a couple of friends of his, laughing at some joke that had been said. But when he noticed the freshman making his way over to him, his smile unintentionally slipped a fraction, a hidden nervousness in his big brown eyes.
Taemin was unaware that he already knew what his intentions were.
“Hey, hyung, do you mind coming with me for a minute?”
“Uh, sure, kid.” He turned back to his friends to inform them that he was leaving, before following Taemin outside onto the field. It was a nice day, though there was a slight wind that was marginally cold, but it was getting dark quicker than usual. It was almost ominous, like a sign of some sort of things to come, but the younger of the two didn’t seem to take notice of what it might mean for him.
Instead, when they’d come to a halt, he breathed in a deep breath and looked straight at Jonghyun even though his gaze was cast towards the ground. “Uhm, the-the reason why I wanted to talk to you was because I wanted to tell you something…” He paused for a moment, just to make sure he was really ready to do this, before continuing. “J-Jonghyun hyung, I, uh… I really… I…” He swallowed and then took the plunge, making his confession. “I’m in love with you.’
Silence.
It took quite a few slow, agonizing seconds for the other to reply, but when he did, Taemin really wished that he hadn’t said anything at all.
“I don’t… Kid, you… You don’t know what you’re saying; you can’t love me. I’m sorry but,” He paused to let out a small, hollow laugh and rub the back of his neck with one of his hands. “This can’t happen, Taemin. You’re, uh, too young for any of this… for me.”
The words were such a shock, something he wouldn’t have anticipated, and they pierced his heart like knives. A second later he lashed out without thinking, the palm of his hand striking against Jonghyun’s face with a loud, quite audible smack. With tears flooding his eyes he ran away from the other, leaving him with an extremely bewildered look on his face.
The pain and anger he felt was overwhelming. ‘I’m not young. I’m not a child.’ Why did everyone treat him like that? His parents were the same, always treating him as if he didn’t know anything and didn’t know how to make decisions on his own. To them he was always a naïve, oblivious child, even now when he was almost an adult, and Jonghyun’s words brought back all of the resentment he felt towards his parents and anyone who said anything to him that was similar to what they did on a regular basis.
He’d thought, after everything they’d done and been through together, that the feelings had been mutual. Finding out in such a way that he was wrong was so unbelievably disheartening and depressing. It hurt so much. He doesn’t want to be treated like he doesn’t matter, or like he’s insignificant or needs to be talked down to like that. ‘Just because I’m younger than you, it doesn’t mean I don’t know what these feelings are. I know how to love. Why don’t you understand? Let me love you, let me be with you!’
Angrily Taemin spun around and ran back toward him. He was still standing there, which makes him feel greatly satisfied. If Jonghyun had believed he could just brush away his confession, then he would show him how wrong he was; he was not too young to know what he felt for him. He reached out and grabbed him by the collar, startling him in the process. Then with a hard pull he made their lips smash together. He pulled away after the short, hard kiss, panting from running and from the stunt that had just occurred, glaring at him with all his pent up emotions. Maybe it was childish, but he didn’t care, he just needed to make him understand.
“I’m not too young,” he whispered to him in a pained, strangled voice, and then ran away for good this time; all the way back to his dormitory room.
When he arrived he slammed the door shut with a bang, alarming Dongho who had just been coming out of the bathroom. His pale coloured hair still glistened from the shower he’d come out of, a towel he had been using to dry his head now around his neck because he had heard the loud sound. “T-Taemin?” He called out questioningly, and the next moment he found his arms full of the boy who had practically thrown himself at him. “Hey, what’s wrong? Tae…” He trailed off, choosing to just hold his crying best friend and comfort him in exchange for talking since he really had no idea of what to say anyway.
It just hurt so much, and Taemin didn’t know what else to do, so he just cried and cried; something he hadn’t done since he was a little boy.
- -
When he had been slapped, Jonghyun had recoiled from the impact and then stood motionless with evident shock, showing how absolutely unexpected what had happened was. ‘He… He slapped me…’ His mind couldn’t full grasp the fact that it really did just occur, even though his cheek red and stinging, so he hadn’t even said anything after it happened.
Before he could even attempt to though, Taemin had returned and kissed him fiercely, effectively taking the breath right out of his lungs. It was a rough and dizzying kiss that under different circumstance he could and probably would have enjoyed. That had sent his mind into another frenzied confused, and it took many minutes after the boy had ran away for him to come back to his senses enough to move. But there were so many thoughts and feelings inside of him that he couldn’t take it, he needed some sort of distraction, and the only thing - person - he could think of was Kibum.
He found him after he had gone back into the building, when he was about to enter his dormitory room, and he grabbed his hand before he could do so, turning him around and pinning him against the still closed door. “Hey,” he breathed suggestively into Key’s ear, pressing against him. “I need your help with something.”
Unexpectedly, the other male put his hands up to his chest in an attempt to deny and push him away. Turning his face away, his voice held only a hint of amusement, but was mostly, uncharacteristically, serious. “N-no, Jjong, sorry but I can’t do that anymore…”
“Why can’t you?” He growled in annoyance and desperation. He needed some way to get his mind off of things otherwise he feared he would do something stupid like cry or punch a wall in frustration. His mind couldn’t get rid of the image of Taemin when he’d been heartbroken, and it was killing him. “You said it yourself; you knew I’d be back eventually.”
“No, but I, I just can’t. I-“
“Kibum?”
Jonghyun felt his whole body freeze and his did as well when he recognized the voice that had called out to them from down the hall. He moved back slightly and looked, and who he saw there nearly made him feel like causing bodily harm to himself.
Because standing there, with wide eyes, was Jinki.
He stared at the two of them, most likely assuming the wrong thing; that Kibum was in fact participating in this willingly, before opening his mouth as if to say something more. But then he changed his mind and in place of that idea, backed away and disappeared around the corner towards the lounge.
Key shoved Jonghyun away, almost yelling “What do you think you’re doing?!” He glared furiously before stating, “I’m in love with him! We’re… We’re together now! And I know you love Taeminnie, so why are you doing this?!”
The other had no answer, and so he took off after Jinki, calling his name repeatedly, until he too, disappeared around the corner, leaving the junior alone with only his thoughts and feelings for company.
In the mere span of an hour he had managed to hurt his best friend in the worst way possible, piss off one of the only friends he had, and break the heart of the person he had grown to love more than anything. He felt like throwing up, his heart wrenching painfully in his chest at the sheer hatred he felt towards himself. How could he have been so stupid to do all of those things? Why couldn’t he, just once, let himself open up to others and let himself care for them, let them care for him back? He always ended up ruining everything.
Why couldn’t he ever just let himself be happy?
Part:12
Groups: SHINee, U-Kiss, 2PM, SNSD, possibly more
Pairings: (main) Jonghyun/Taemin, Onew/Key, Nichkhun/Minho
Rating: PG-13 (this chapter)
Summary: Jonghyun's the school bad boy who cuts class, gets into fights, and doesn't think he's capable of loving. But deep down he's different. Jinki's his best friend from childhood and the school president, who's just trying to get the most popular boy in school to notice him. Key's known by everyone, and though he's practically worshiped and acts so self-confident, he's got dark things hidden inside. Minho, the soccer team's ace player is looking for something interesting to happen in his life and wants someone he can love to come along, even when there's someone right beside him. And Taemin's a freshman whose dedication is torn between what he wants and what his parents want, his dreams feeling out of reach because he's just “too young to know any better”. When these five are brought together, the occurrences afterward are filled with heartbreak and sorrow, but also with happiness, fun, and love.
A/N: high school AU fic~ finally updated! OMG XD in case there are new readers who want to catch up, this fic has its own tag on my LJ so its easy to find! dedicated to bopeep_achu as always <3 as well as taemin_knees because she made me smile when I really needed it =] part of this was taken from a drabble I did before which inspired this whole series~ random! Comments are very appreciated! Hope you enjoy reading!
It had taken Taemin a long time to finally come to the decision that he was going to tell Jonghyun how he felt. Many events had had to occur, like his near-drowning and so on, and after it all, he had fully realized that he was falling in love with the other male.
It was still a bit shocking for him to think about, but he was indeed sure that that was how he felt towards him. Even though he could be an asshole sometimes - make that most of the time - and treated him like a kid, not to mention the fact that he was a trouble-maker who drank and did who knows what other things, he still liked him.
However, if that had just been it, he wouldn’t have wanted to tell him. He wouldn’t have for fear of rejection of course, because he’d never really liked someone before, it was all new to him, and he didn’t want to be told that the feelings were one-sided. Dongho and many of his other friends had told him about some of their confessions that had ended badly, and he definitely did not want that to happen to him. But the thing was that he didn’t think that something like that would occur.
The reason for that was simple; he believed that Jonghyun liked him back.
Why else would they be so close now? If they’d only had a platonic relationship, he was sure that the junior would have just ignored him most of the time unless he was forced to associate with him. However, on many occasions he was the one to come seeking Taemin, to hang out or talk. If Jonghyun didn’t like him, even only a little bit, wouldn’t he have just talked to him during their tutoring sessions or when they hung out with mutual friends?
There was also the little detail that they had kissed, and shared many other moments that were surely on the brink of being romantic. Whenever they spent time together there was this sense of rightness and happiness that would be in the air, even if one was taunting the other or if they were having a mild argument over something stupid. The feelings were there, he knew it. It couldn’t just be him, couldn’t be his imagination or just something that he alone felt.
Right?
His insecurity continued to rise and increase as the hours passed, awaiting the end of the day with an odd anticipation that made his stomach toss and turn. He’d been able to go back to his classes because Nurse Ga In had given him the green light after she gave him another physical check earlier. The minutes ticked by slowly, almost at a snail’s pace, to him, but finally classes were finished, and Taemin went out to the dormitory in search of Jonghyun.
He spotted the blonde and brown haired teenager easily. He was standing around talking with a couple of friends of his, laughing at some joke that had been said. But when he noticed the freshman making his way over to him, his smile unintentionally slipped a fraction, a hidden nervousness in his big brown eyes.
Taemin was unaware that he already knew what his intentions were.
“Hey, hyung, do you mind coming with me for a minute?”
“Uh, sure, kid.” He turned back to his friends to inform them that he was leaving, before following Taemin outside onto the field. It was a nice day, though there was a slight wind that was marginally cold, but it was getting dark quicker than usual. It was almost ominous, like a sign of some sort of things to come, but the younger of the two didn’t seem to take notice of what it might mean for him.
Instead, when they’d come to a halt, he breathed in a deep breath and looked straight at Jonghyun even though his gaze was cast towards the ground. “Uhm, the-the reason why I wanted to talk to you was because I wanted to tell you something…” He paused for a moment, just to make sure he was really ready to do this, before continuing. “J-Jonghyun hyung, I, uh… I really… I…” He swallowed and then took the plunge, making his confession. “I’m in love with you.’
Silence.
It took quite a few slow, agonizing seconds for the other to reply, but when he did, Taemin really wished that he hadn’t said anything at all.
“I don’t… Kid, you… You don’t know what you’re saying; you can’t love me. I’m sorry but,” He paused to let out a small, hollow laugh and rub the back of his neck with one of his hands. “This can’t happen, Taemin. You’re, uh, too young for any of this… for me.”
The words were such a shock, something he wouldn’t have anticipated, and they pierced his heart like knives. A second later he lashed out without thinking, the palm of his hand striking against Jonghyun’s face with a loud, quite audible smack. With tears flooding his eyes he ran away from the other, leaving him with an extremely bewildered look on his face.
The pain and anger he felt was overwhelming. ‘I’m not young. I’m not a child.’ Why did everyone treat him like that? His parents were the same, always treating him as if he didn’t know anything and didn’t know how to make decisions on his own. To them he was always a naïve, oblivious child, even now when he was almost an adult, and Jonghyun’s words brought back all of the resentment he felt towards his parents and anyone who said anything to him that was similar to what they did on a regular basis.
He’d thought, after everything they’d done and been through together, that the feelings had been mutual. Finding out in such a way that he was wrong was so unbelievably disheartening and depressing. It hurt so much. He doesn’t want to be treated like he doesn’t matter, or like he’s insignificant or needs to be talked down to like that. ‘Just because I’m younger than you, it doesn’t mean I don’t know what these feelings are. I know how to love. Why don’t you understand? Let me love you, let me be with you!’
Angrily Taemin spun around and ran back toward him. He was still standing there, which makes him feel greatly satisfied. If Jonghyun had believed he could just brush away his confession, then he would show him how wrong he was; he was not too young to know what he felt for him. He reached out and grabbed him by the collar, startling him in the process. Then with a hard pull he made their lips smash together. He pulled away after the short, hard kiss, panting from running and from the stunt that had just occurred, glaring at him with all his pent up emotions. Maybe it was childish, but he didn’t care, he just needed to make him understand.
“I’m not too young,” he whispered to him in a pained, strangled voice, and then ran away for good this time; all the way back to his dormitory room.
When he arrived he slammed the door shut with a bang, alarming Dongho who had just been coming out of the bathroom. His pale coloured hair still glistened from the shower he’d come out of, a towel he had been using to dry his head now around his neck because he had heard the loud sound. “T-Taemin?” He called out questioningly, and the next moment he found his arms full of the boy who had practically thrown himself at him. “Hey, what’s wrong? Tae…” He trailed off, choosing to just hold his crying best friend and comfort him in exchange for talking since he really had no idea of what to say anyway.
It just hurt so much, and Taemin didn’t know what else to do, so he just cried and cried; something he hadn’t done since he was a little boy.
- -
When he had been slapped, Jonghyun had recoiled from the impact and then stood motionless with evident shock, showing how absolutely unexpected what had happened was. ‘He… He slapped me…’ His mind couldn’t full grasp the fact that it really did just occur, even though his cheek red and stinging, so he hadn’t even said anything after it happened.
Before he could even attempt to though, Taemin had returned and kissed him fiercely, effectively taking the breath right out of his lungs. It was a rough and dizzying kiss that under different circumstance he could and probably would have enjoyed. That had sent his mind into another frenzied confused, and it took many minutes after the boy had ran away for him to come back to his senses enough to move. But there were so many thoughts and feelings inside of him that he couldn’t take it, he needed some sort of distraction, and the only thing - person - he could think of was Kibum.
He found him after he had gone back into the building, when he was about to enter his dormitory room, and he grabbed his hand before he could do so, turning him around and pinning him against the still closed door. “Hey,” he breathed suggestively into Key’s ear, pressing against him. “I need your help with something.”
Unexpectedly, the other male put his hands up to his chest in an attempt to deny and push him away. Turning his face away, his voice held only a hint of amusement, but was mostly, uncharacteristically, serious. “N-no, Jjong, sorry but I can’t do that anymore…”
“Why can’t you?” He growled in annoyance and desperation. He needed some way to get his mind off of things otherwise he feared he would do something stupid like cry or punch a wall in frustration. His mind couldn’t get rid of the image of Taemin when he’d been heartbroken, and it was killing him. “You said it yourself; you knew I’d be back eventually.”
“No, but I, I just can’t. I-“
“Kibum?”
Jonghyun felt his whole body freeze and his did as well when he recognized the voice that had called out to them from down the hall. He moved back slightly and looked, and who he saw there nearly made him feel like causing bodily harm to himself.
Because standing there, with wide eyes, was Jinki.
He stared at the two of them, most likely assuming the wrong thing; that Kibum was in fact participating in this willingly, before opening his mouth as if to say something more. But then he changed his mind and in place of that idea, backed away and disappeared around the corner towards the lounge.
Key shoved Jonghyun away, almost yelling “What do you think you’re doing?!” He glared furiously before stating, “I’m in love with him! We’re… We’re together now! And I know you love Taeminnie, so why are you doing this?!”
The other had no answer, and so he took off after Jinki, calling his name repeatedly, until he too, disappeared around the corner, leaving the junior alone with only his thoughts and feelings for company.
In the mere span of an hour he had managed to hurt his best friend in the worst way possible, piss off one of the only friends he had, and break the heart of the person he had grown to love more than anything. He felt like throwing up, his heart wrenching painfully in his chest at the sheer hatred he felt towards himself. How could he have been so stupid to do all of those things? Why couldn’t he, just once, let himself open up to others and let himself care for them, let them care for him back? He always ended up ruining everything.
Why couldn’t he ever just let himself be happy?