all she knows;; surrender;; she will be loved
Title: All She Knows;; Surrender;; She Will Be Loved
Pairing: Jonghyun/girl!Taemin
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, romance, angst, fluff, friendship
Summary: Taemin is the girl of Jonghyun's dreams, but no matter what he does he can never seem to get her to realize it. Instead she dates other men, and is always hurt and treated badly. What will it take for her to notice that the person that has always been there for her, has never left her side, is the one she's always been searching for?
A/N: Based off of the three songs that they are titled after. Can be read as three seperate fics, but I prefer it to be connected and together~ =) Comments are very appreciated <33
Word Count: 2160 (in total)
all she knows
~ song by Bruno Mars
I walk into her house, using the spare key she'd given me back when we were best friends in high school, and notice right away that once again, she's the only one left at home, alone. The rooms that I can see are trashed, frames of photos lying around the floor, living room table flipped upside down, and there's shards of broken glass scattered around, from objects that are unknown to me. It's evident that there's been a fight, or that someone is upset, and I need to find her to make sure she's alright.
I call our her name, and there his silence. I try again and this time I hear a muffled reply coming from the bathroom. I walk gingerly over to the door and try the knob. It's locked, so I knock gently. “Taemin, are you okay? Open the door.”
But she yells that she's fine - in a voice that cracks and is filled with emotion - even though I know she isn't. She's trying to cover up the sounds of her sobs by having the tap of the sink turned on, but I can still hear her. They make it feel like knives are stabbing into my body, it hurts so much to not be able to do anything for her. I'm stuck on the outside, always, because she won't let me help her.
It's the second time in only six months that this has happened. Her boyfriend stays with her, things are fine and blissful, and then one day something happens and he snaps and destroys the house before leaving. He's only using her, I know he is, but she can't seem to get it into her head and won't stop letting him, and others like him, come back. She knows better but she can't help it; for some reason his love is all she knows and accepts. I've tried to tell her, convince her, but she won't hear any of it.
How can I heal a heart that can't feel? She's closed it off to almost everyone, having only a few people in her life at all times like she's afraid of losing them. I've always been there for her, never laid a hand on her or wronged her in any way, and yet she seems to shut her eyes or look right through me. I wish I could just grab her and kiss her, show her how much she means to me, but it would be selfish. It would be taking advantage of her, wouldn't it?
He's not the only man she's let into her life, her house, her heart. But every time the way it turns out is the same. She can't seem to find someone good, even though I'm right here, there for her through anything. She's been living this way for too long that she can't see how horrible it is, can't tell that this isn't the way love is supposed to be. She's never had real love before. I could show her if she'd let me, but she doesn't.
Everyday it's the same old thing.
I turn away from the door and punch the wall without thinking. I curse under my breath, because it really hurt, but I know it's nothing compared to what she is feeling. This is killing me, knowing that she can have so much more if she was with me but she'll never realize it. It isn't her fault; if the men she was with would just treat her better, the way she deserves, then she could be happy.
All she knows is the pain of being abandoned, of being alone. She's always left in that empty house, crying her eyes out in a corner by herself. I want her to know that things could be different, life could be so much better if we were together instead. However, I can never tell her. She'd never believe it.
And so the only thing I can do is wish that we were more than just friends. I'm the one she's searching for, but love from someone else is all she ever knows.
surrender
~ song by Billy Talent
Receiving a call from her is all it takes to get me out of my house in minutes. I'd always drop everything if she needed me, without a second thought. She didn't seem upset - she wasn't crying or yelling - and so I hope that maybe, maybe this time she's calling me just to see me. To talk to me about my life, our relationship, and not her life and her relationships with others like she usually does. She doesn't know how much this annoys me; I make sure to always be in good spirits for her, so that she can see how happy I am with her, how happy she could be if we were together. It's not fake, I'm only hiding the negative parts of how I feel. I really am always happy to see her and be around her.
I can see her even from across the street, sitting at a table reading a book. It looks like she's waiting for someone - she is - and it makes me smile to see that she seems alright, stable. I quickly get to the coffee shop, ordering two cups for us, before sitting down across from her. My heart skips a beat when she glances up and smiles, the bright gaze she fixes on me is something I always long for.
We talk for hours, sipping at cups of coffee and snacking on desserts that I buy for us. Then she asks me, “Why are you always in such a good mood, Jonghyun? I'm envious.”
I smile and reply in complete honesty, “When I'm with you, how would I not be able to be in a good mood?”
But she takes it in stride, shaking her head as she simply brushes the compliment off without a problem, like it's nothing. It sends a pang of despair in my heart, however, I shove it out and don't let it show in my expression.
We're killing time before she has to go to the dance club, where she works and performs. She's a beautiful, amazingly talented dancer, the passion she has for it is so obvious in every move she makes. She always leaves people in awe and wanting more, just like she does to me every moment that I'm around her. Sometimes I go to the club to watch, but this time I promise her that I won't (she thinks it's not something I would enjoy) even though I really want to.
I've become her crutch, the person who's there to keep her on her feet and keep moving. We've been friends since our first year of high school, and were always inseparable. I've been in love with her since that time as well, but never got the chance to confess to her; I was always too scared to, and most of the time she had a boyfriend because she was so popular and charming. There were always so many guys competing to win her heart, and I would've joined the game, too, if I wasn't the referee. I was never able to fully show her how much she meant to me, because we were best friends.
I've never had the nerve to ask her to be my girlfriend, to be mine. Have there been many times that I could have? Yes. I've never taken advantage of any of them, so did that mean that my chance had come and past? She's the best girl I've ever met, everything about her is wonderful. She's a flower in a field of weeds, and I'm always searching so hard for some way to make her realize my feelings. But this flower doesn't belong to me, and so it's thorns bite into my flesh and make my hands - and heart - bleed.
Every word, every thought, every sound. I want to hear them all. Every touch, every smile, every frown. I want to see them all. All the pain we've endured until now has made us even closer, stronger, together. All the hope that I loose when she finds another man and believes he's the one she finds and brings back when they break up and she comes to me like I'm so important to her. If only she knew how I felt.
Even though she's all I'm looking for, she always has a brick wall put up around her heart. And whenever the time comes along that she's willing to open it up and let someone in romantically, I'm never there or an option, apparently. It never occurs to her that I could be the one for her. If I could, I would travel back in time to our high school days and confess to her. But I'm still so afraid that she'd shoot the messenger. I'm still afraid that she'll never surrender herself to me, accept my love, and let us be together.
she will be loved
~ song by Maroon 5
Rain is pouring down from the dark sky, splattering against the shiny black surface of the car as I drive it down the street. I've been down this road many times, more than I can count, and it's always for the same purpose. My eyes squint, trying to find a familiar figure in the dim street lights that glow feebly in the onslaught of water. Slowing down when my gaze finds an alleyway beside a dance club, I park my car and get out, braving the weather. By the time I get there I'm soaked, but it doesn't matter, not when I've found her.
Without speaking, she grabs my hand and I lead us back to the car, though we'll only be going another block or so down the very same street to her house. We sit in silence once we get there, dripping water onto the leather seats as we soak up the heat coming from the fans I turned on. I shift to have a better look at her even though her eyes are staring straight, not at me.
I take in her appearance, in awe over how utterly beautiful she is, even soaked to the bone, with lips upturned humorlessly, and with bloodshot, distant eyes. Her wet light brown hair hangs down to her collarbone, short locks stuck along the skin of her forehead. She's lithe, yet tall - taller than me - and any other time she'd have a look of confidence, holding her head up high as she moves, smiling that smile that mesmerizes and captivates all who are priveledged to witness it. A secret smile that only a few get to see. A smile I fell in love with.
But she's far from that girl at that moment, and it hurts me to see. I don't have to ask to know why she called me, to find out what happened. Her latest boyfriend broke up with her. It's always like this; they take advantage of her trusting heart, and then once they've had their fun they leave her behind.
“Look at me...” I reach over and entwine our fingers once again, holding hers tightly so that they don't tremble anymore. “Tae... Taemin, look at me.”
And she does, though with her eyes brimming with fresh tears it's a wonder if she can even see me. I pull her over, sliding her body into the small space between me and the steering wheel. I hold her in my arms as she cries, closing my eyes, breathing in her scent.
We've been like this so many times, me and her. I've had her so many times but it's not how I truly want. No matter how long we are together she always belongs to someone else. My heart longs for her, wants us to be so much more, but settles for this because it's more than I could ever ask for. I know everything that makes her who she is, and having this wonderful person in my life is a blessing in itself.
I'll always be here for her, at any time, at any place. She can knock on the door of my house, tap on the window of my car, and I'll do whatever it takes to make her believe that she's beautiful again, help her regain her strength because she doesn't need to beg me to catch her every time she falls. I don't mind waiting in the rain, looking for the girl with the broken smile. She's my everything, and she'll always be loved.
Oblivious at the time, her eyes had turned up to gaze at me while I thought as something fresh and new blooms in her heart.
Hope.
Because maybe this time she'll fall for the one person who's always cared for her, the one person she could always trust and count on no matter the circumstances.
Maybe this time she'll fall for me.
And maybe, just maybe, this relationship's story will end in 'happily ever after'...
Pairing: Jonghyun/girl!Taemin
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, romance, angst, fluff, friendship
Summary: Taemin is the girl of Jonghyun's dreams, but no matter what he does he can never seem to get her to realize it. Instead she dates other men, and is always hurt and treated badly. What will it take for her to notice that the person that has always been there for her, has never left her side, is the one she's always been searching for?
A/N: Based off of the three songs that they are titled after. Can be read as three seperate fics, but I prefer it to be connected and together~ =) Comments are very appreciated <33
Word Count: 2160 (in total)
all she knows
~ song by Bruno Mars
I walk into her house, using the spare key she'd given me back when we were best friends in high school, and notice right away that once again, she's the only one left at home, alone. The rooms that I can see are trashed, frames of photos lying around the floor, living room table flipped upside down, and there's shards of broken glass scattered around, from objects that are unknown to me. It's evident that there's been a fight, or that someone is upset, and I need to find her to make sure she's alright.
I call our her name, and there his silence. I try again and this time I hear a muffled reply coming from the bathroom. I walk gingerly over to the door and try the knob. It's locked, so I knock gently. “Taemin, are you okay? Open the door.”
But she yells that she's fine - in a voice that cracks and is filled with emotion - even though I know she isn't. She's trying to cover up the sounds of her sobs by having the tap of the sink turned on, but I can still hear her. They make it feel like knives are stabbing into my body, it hurts so much to not be able to do anything for her. I'm stuck on the outside, always, because she won't let me help her.
It's the second time in only six months that this has happened. Her boyfriend stays with her, things are fine and blissful, and then one day something happens and he snaps and destroys the house before leaving. He's only using her, I know he is, but she can't seem to get it into her head and won't stop letting him, and others like him, come back. She knows better but she can't help it; for some reason his love is all she knows and accepts. I've tried to tell her, convince her, but she won't hear any of it.
How can I heal a heart that can't feel? She's closed it off to almost everyone, having only a few people in her life at all times like she's afraid of losing them. I've always been there for her, never laid a hand on her or wronged her in any way, and yet she seems to shut her eyes or look right through me. I wish I could just grab her and kiss her, show her how much she means to me, but it would be selfish. It would be taking advantage of her, wouldn't it?
He's not the only man she's let into her life, her house, her heart. But every time the way it turns out is the same. She can't seem to find someone good, even though I'm right here, there for her through anything. She's been living this way for too long that she can't see how horrible it is, can't tell that this isn't the way love is supposed to be. She's never had real love before. I could show her if she'd let me, but she doesn't.
Everyday it's the same old thing.
I turn away from the door and punch the wall without thinking. I curse under my breath, because it really hurt, but I know it's nothing compared to what she is feeling. This is killing me, knowing that she can have so much more if she was with me but she'll never realize it. It isn't her fault; if the men she was with would just treat her better, the way she deserves, then she could be happy.
All she knows is the pain of being abandoned, of being alone. She's always left in that empty house, crying her eyes out in a corner by herself. I want her to know that things could be different, life could be so much better if we were together instead. However, I can never tell her. She'd never believe it.
And so the only thing I can do is wish that we were more than just friends. I'm the one she's searching for, but love from someone else is all she ever knows.
surrender
~ song by Billy Talent
Receiving a call from her is all it takes to get me out of my house in minutes. I'd always drop everything if she needed me, without a second thought. She didn't seem upset - she wasn't crying or yelling - and so I hope that maybe, maybe this time she's calling me just to see me. To talk to me about my life, our relationship, and not her life and her relationships with others like she usually does. She doesn't know how much this annoys me; I make sure to always be in good spirits for her, so that she can see how happy I am with her, how happy she could be if we were together. It's not fake, I'm only hiding the negative parts of how I feel. I really am always happy to see her and be around her.
I can see her even from across the street, sitting at a table reading a book. It looks like she's waiting for someone - she is - and it makes me smile to see that she seems alright, stable. I quickly get to the coffee shop, ordering two cups for us, before sitting down across from her. My heart skips a beat when she glances up and smiles, the bright gaze she fixes on me is something I always long for.
We talk for hours, sipping at cups of coffee and snacking on desserts that I buy for us. Then she asks me, “Why are you always in such a good mood, Jonghyun? I'm envious.”
I smile and reply in complete honesty, “When I'm with you, how would I not be able to be in a good mood?”
But she takes it in stride, shaking her head as she simply brushes the compliment off without a problem, like it's nothing. It sends a pang of despair in my heart, however, I shove it out and don't let it show in my expression.
We're killing time before she has to go to the dance club, where she works and performs. She's a beautiful, amazingly talented dancer, the passion she has for it is so obvious in every move she makes. She always leaves people in awe and wanting more, just like she does to me every moment that I'm around her. Sometimes I go to the club to watch, but this time I promise her that I won't (she thinks it's not something I would enjoy) even though I really want to.
I've become her crutch, the person who's there to keep her on her feet and keep moving. We've been friends since our first year of high school, and were always inseparable. I've been in love with her since that time as well, but never got the chance to confess to her; I was always too scared to, and most of the time she had a boyfriend because she was so popular and charming. There were always so many guys competing to win her heart, and I would've joined the game, too, if I wasn't the referee. I was never able to fully show her how much she meant to me, because we were best friends.
I've never had the nerve to ask her to be my girlfriend, to be mine. Have there been many times that I could have? Yes. I've never taken advantage of any of them, so did that mean that my chance had come and past? She's the best girl I've ever met, everything about her is wonderful. She's a flower in a field of weeds, and I'm always searching so hard for some way to make her realize my feelings. But this flower doesn't belong to me, and so it's thorns bite into my flesh and make my hands - and heart - bleed.
Every word, every thought, every sound. I want to hear them all. Every touch, every smile, every frown. I want to see them all. All the pain we've endured until now has made us even closer, stronger, together. All the hope that I loose when she finds another man and believes he's the one she finds and brings back when they break up and she comes to me like I'm so important to her. If only she knew how I felt.
Even though she's all I'm looking for, she always has a brick wall put up around her heart. And whenever the time comes along that she's willing to open it up and let someone in romantically, I'm never there or an option, apparently. It never occurs to her that I could be the one for her. If I could, I would travel back in time to our high school days and confess to her. But I'm still so afraid that she'd shoot the messenger. I'm still afraid that she'll never surrender herself to me, accept my love, and let us be together.
she will be loved
~ song by Maroon 5
Rain is pouring down from the dark sky, splattering against the shiny black surface of the car as I drive it down the street. I've been down this road many times, more than I can count, and it's always for the same purpose. My eyes squint, trying to find a familiar figure in the dim street lights that glow feebly in the onslaught of water. Slowing down when my gaze finds an alleyway beside a dance club, I park my car and get out, braving the weather. By the time I get there I'm soaked, but it doesn't matter, not when I've found her.
Without speaking, she grabs my hand and I lead us back to the car, though we'll only be going another block or so down the very same street to her house. We sit in silence once we get there, dripping water onto the leather seats as we soak up the heat coming from the fans I turned on. I shift to have a better look at her even though her eyes are staring straight, not at me.
I take in her appearance, in awe over how utterly beautiful she is, even soaked to the bone, with lips upturned humorlessly, and with bloodshot, distant eyes. Her wet light brown hair hangs down to her collarbone, short locks stuck along the skin of her forehead. She's lithe, yet tall - taller than me - and any other time she'd have a look of confidence, holding her head up high as she moves, smiling that smile that mesmerizes and captivates all who are priveledged to witness it. A secret smile that only a few get to see. A smile I fell in love with.
But she's far from that girl at that moment, and it hurts me to see. I don't have to ask to know why she called me, to find out what happened. Her latest boyfriend broke up with her. It's always like this; they take advantage of her trusting heart, and then once they've had their fun they leave her behind.
“Look at me...” I reach over and entwine our fingers once again, holding hers tightly so that they don't tremble anymore. “Tae... Taemin, look at me.”
And she does, though with her eyes brimming with fresh tears it's a wonder if she can even see me. I pull her over, sliding her body into the small space between me and the steering wheel. I hold her in my arms as she cries, closing my eyes, breathing in her scent.
We've been like this so many times, me and her. I've had her so many times but it's not how I truly want. No matter how long we are together she always belongs to someone else. My heart longs for her, wants us to be so much more, but settles for this because it's more than I could ever ask for. I know everything that makes her who she is, and having this wonderful person in my life is a blessing in itself.
I'll always be here for her, at any time, at any place. She can knock on the door of my house, tap on the window of my car, and I'll do whatever it takes to make her believe that she's beautiful again, help her regain her strength because she doesn't need to beg me to catch her every time she falls. I don't mind waiting in the rain, looking for the girl with the broken smile. She's my everything, and she'll always be loved.
Oblivious at the time, her eyes had turned up to gaze at me while I thought as something fresh and new blooms in her heart.
Hope.
Because maybe this time she'll fall for the one person who's always cared for her, the one person she could always trust and count on no matter the circumstances.
Maybe this time she'll fall for me.
And maybe, just maybe, this relationship's story will end in 'happily ever after'...