Remember the Past, Hope For the Future
Title: Remember the Past, Hope For the Future
Pairing: Suhoon/Hyunchul (Mika/Karam)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, angst
Summary: The memory of a certain, dark day still troubles Karam, but he never lets anyone comfort him or talk to him about it. What happens when he doesn't have a choice; when Mika walks in on him breaking down? Will he let himself be cared for, or run away like he's always done?
A/N: first D-NA fic~ wooo~ I love these boys soooo much though, hehe =) any comments and feedback are very welcome <3333 hope you enjoy~
It was a quarter passed seven, and the boys of Dae Guk Nam Ah had been settling down to eat dinner. Well, most of them were. Though Mika had clearly remembered saying 'dinnertime' at least twice already, one member of their group seemed to have not heard him.
“Jay! Aish, I said it's time to eat!”
“Coming~” He called back from the other room, though no sound of his approach could be heard. He was still sitting at the computer, clicking away on some of their fansites.
Their leader, fed up with their maknae, sat himself down at the table and began to eat, a frown on his face. His loss if he didn't want to eat with the rest of them. Hyunmin stayed quiet, and so did Karam, unusually, while Injoon tried his luck on luring his friend out.
“Come on, Jay! Or else I'm going to eat your share.”
“Ah, no!” They heard a bunch of scrambling before the small boy appeared in their midst, multi-coloured hair in it's usual disarray. He sat down at his seat, tossing a childish glare in Injoon's direction. “I'm still growing, I need to eat.”
“Then next time some when I call you,” Mika said, to which Jay mumbled an apology. They ate in, moderately, quiet, until he noticed that Karam hadn't even taken a single bite. Instead, opting to push his food around with his utensils. “Is something wrong, Karam?”
The boy's head shot up as if he'd been surprised to be called on, and his brown gaze wouldn't meet his, or anyone else's for that matter. “I... uh... I'm not really hungry. Could I be excused?”
Any other day Mika would have probably protested, but today was different. “Sure.”
“Thanks.” And then he disappeared into one of the other rooms.
The table got deadly silent, and Hyunmin spoke up to voice what was on his, and all of their minds.
“This is because of earlier, isn't it? Because that interviewer asked about what happened to him...”
Earlier that day that had gone on a show to boost their popularity. It had been a lot of fun; each of them getting to show off some of their special talents and funny quirks. It had all been okay, until the question session began.
One woman had been the one to ask the questions, mostly simple ones that fans had been sending in to their website to get answered. But then she asked about something that, between the members themselves, had unspokenly become a topic that was never brought up unless absolutely necessary.
She'd asked him about the time he'd been sexually abused.
Mika had had to clench his fists tightly on his lap to keep himself from making an angry outburst. He hated it when people brought it up, because he knew how horrible it was for Karam. It was like they couldn't see that though he appeared strong and nonchalant at the time, later on it would all come crashing down. Suhoon knew this because he'd witnessed the few times that his usually bright member had broken down and hid away so no one could see. He wouldn't let anyone try to help him or care for him during those times, so the rest of them could only watch and pretend - like Karam himself - that it had never happened.
He blinked his eyes, lids sliding over his gray contacts, and realized he'd been staring off into space. He looked over at Jay, noting how he and Injoon resembled hurt, sad little puppies. Mika sighed and began cleaning up, needing something to busy himself with.
It always tore at his heart to see Hyunchul like that, and the fact that he was never able to do anything to make things easier for him made it worse. He was the leader, he cared about him, all of them, so much. Yet he was so useless.
Soon it was time to go to sleep for the night, and when they passed by the first of their two bedrooms, the eldest and the youngest of the fie of them stopped. Jay bounced over to one of the beds, sitting lightly at the edge, beside the large form of Karam hidden mostly under his blanket.
“Goodnight, hyung...” He hesitated, and then patted him gently though under normal circumstances he would've jumped on his friend to cuddle for a while.
There was no reply, and Jihwan left to go to the room he shared with Injoon and Hyunmin. He'd probably assumed he'd been sleeping, however, when Mika had stepped over to his own bed, he could see out of the corner of his eyes that he was still awake. He changed quickly and then slipped under the covers after switching off the light.
After quite a few minutes of silence, he spoke softly into the darkness.
“Sweet dreams, Hyunchul ah.”
It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, though he'd told his body he wouldn't until the other occupant of the room was. However, he woke hours later, while it was still dark, and sat up groggily. Why'd he wake up?
Maybe he was thirst, or something. With that thought in mind he crept out into the hall of his home, and went to go to the kitchen. But he stopped half-way as he passed the bathroom, his hearing picking up on something.
Someone was crying in there.
Instinct told him who it was, and also that he needed to go in there. So Mika pushed open the door - it hadn't been locked, nor closed - and once inside he did what the other should have done for privacy's sake. Then he faced the wide, red-rimmed eyed Karam, who was standing by the sink.
“O-Oh, I'm sorry, I... just, uhm... I'll leave.”
“No, wait, Hyunchul,” The elder stepped in front of him, blocking his way. He took in how small and fragile he looked, though in truth they were the same height and built similarly. He wasn't himself, and that hurt him to see. “Don't leave, you... I mean, I...” He really wasn't good at the whole comforting thing, that was more of the dancer himself's job.
Karam sniffled, and tried to hide part of his face behind his raised hand. He fought to figure out what to say, and then finally blurted out, “You're not alone. I'm here for you, we all are, don't you know that?”
He'd seemed relatively stable and calm before, but at those words his eyes filled with tears, making them shine and glisten. Mika opened his mouth and stuttered his way into an apology, but before he could finish Karam lurched forward and he was too distracted to. He wrapped his arms around the sobbing boy, resting his cheek on top of his soft locks of hair as the other buried his face into the space between his neck and his shoulder.
He held him as he cried, murmuring gently things and pressing kisses against his head. It was the only thing he could do, and though he didn't think it was a lot, it meant the world to Karam.
They stayed like that for a long time until his heavy sobbing subsided into silent tears that trailed down his cheeks. Mika pulled back and cupped his close friend's face, staring straight into his eyes.
“I know you'll never be able to forget it, but you have to remember that it's a part of the past and it won't happen again, I'll make sure of it. Hyunchul...” He bit his lip, emotions bubbling up in him, making it hard to suppress all the feelings he'd been keeping secret for so long. “We like to see you smiling, and though we know you can't always be happy, you should know that we'll be here to help when you're not, okay?”
He nodded in response, looking as if he was going to burst into tears and sobs again, lips trembling even though he didn't speak. Then he smiled, a small one through tears, but it was still a smile. Mika closed the gap between them and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. He could've kissed his forehead, his cheek, anywhere, but at that moment it had only felt right to cover those pink lips with his own.
Karam's eyes widened slightly, but the smile on his pretty face didn't lessen. Instead a blush crept up on his cheeks. Now that was his Karam.
They went back to their room soon after, and slept in the same bed, the younger curled up against the other's side. They fell asleep like that, content, and that night, Karam hadn't relived that horrible even that had happened so long ago. He slept peacefully with Mika into the morning hours.
That is, until the ball of energy that called itself Jay came hurling into their room and flopped on top of them, with Injoon and Hyunmin not far behind him. Laughing and hugging and teasing, comfortable and glad with each others presence.
They were in it together, no matter what happened. The five boys of super space forever.
Pairing: Suhoon/Hyunchul (Mika/Karam)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, angst
Summary: The memory of a certain, dark day still troubles Karam, but he never lets anyone comfort him or talk to him about it. What happens when he doesn't have a choice; when Mika walks in on him breaking down? Will he let himself be cared for, or run away like he's always done?
A/N: first D-NA fic~ wooo~ I love these boys soooo much though, hehe =) any comments and feedback are very welcome <3333 hope you enjoy~
It was a quarter passed seven, and the boys of Dae Guk Nam Ah had been settling down to eat dinner. Well, most of them were. Though Mika had clearly remembered saying 'dinnertime' at least twice already, one member of their group seemed to have not heard him.
“Jay! Aish, I said it's time to eat!”
“Coming~” He called back from the other room, though no sound of his approach could be heard. He was still sitting at the computer, clicking away on some of their fansites.
Their leader, fed up with their maknae, sat himself down at the table and began to eat, a frown on his face. His loss if he didn't want to eat with the rest of them. Hyunmin stayed quiet, and so did Karam, unusually, while Injoon tried his luck on luring his friend out.
“Come on, Jay! Or else I'm going to eat your share.”
“Ah, no!” They heard a bunch of scrambling before the small boy appeared in their midst, multi-coloured hair in it's usual disarray. He sat down at his seat, tossing a childish glare in Injoon's direction. “I'm still growing, I need to eat.”
“Then next time some when I call you,” Mika said, to which Jay mumbled an apology. They ate in, moderately, quiet, until he noticed that Karam hadn't even taken a single bite. Instead, opting to push his food around with his utensils. “Is something wrong, Karam?”
The boy's head shot up as if he'd been surprised to be called on, and his brown gaze wouldn't meet his, or anyone else's for that matter. “I... uh... I'm not really hungry. Could I be excused?”
Any other day Mika would have probably protested, but today was different. “Sure.”
“Thanks.” And then he disappeared into one of the other rooms.
The table got deadly silent, and Hyunmin spoke up to voice what was on his, and all of their minds.
“This is because of earlier, isn't it? Because that interviewer asked about what happened to him...”
Earlier that day that had gone on a show to boost their popularity. It had been a lot of fun; each of them getting to show off some of their special talents and funny quirks. It had all been okay, until the question session began.
One woman had been the one to ask the questions, mostly simple ones that fans had been sending in to their website to get answered. But then she asked about something that, between the members themselves, had unspokenly become a topic that was never brought up unless absolutely necessary.
She'd asked him about the time he'd been sexually abused.
Mika had had to clench his fists tightly on his lap to keep himself from making an angry outburst. He hated it when people brought it up, because he knew how horrible it was for Karam. It was like they couldn't see that though he appeared strong and nonchalant at the time, later on it would all come crashing down. Suhoon knew this because he'd witnessed the few times that his usually bright member had broken down and hid away so no one could see. He wouldn't let anyone try to help him or care for him during those times, so the rest of them could only watch and pretend - like Karam himself - that it had never happened.
He blinked his eyes, lids sliding over his gray contacts, and realized he'd been staring off into space. He looked over at Jay, noting how he and Injoon resembled hurt, sad little puppies. Mika sighed and began cleaning up, needing something to busy himself with.
It always tore at his heart to see Hyunchul like that, and the fact that he was never able to do anything to make things easier for him made it worse. He was the leader, he cared about him, all of them, so much. Yet he was so useless.
Soon it was time to go to sleep for the night, and when they passed by the first of their two bedrooms, the eldest and the youngest of the fie of them stopped. Jay bounced over to one of the beds, sitting lightly at the edge, beside the large form of Karam hidden mostly under his blanket.
“Goodnight, hyung...” He hesitated, and then patted him gently though under normal circumstances he would've jumped on his friend to cuddle for a while.
There was no reply, and Jihwan left to go to the room he shared with Injoon and Hyunmin. He'd probably assumed he'd been sleeping, however, when Mika had stepped over to his own bed, he could see out of the corner of his eyes that he was still awake. He changed quickly and then slipped under the covers after switching off the light.
After quite a few minutes of silence, he spoke softly into the darkness.
“Sweet dreams, Hyunchul ah.”
It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, though he'd told his body he wouldn't until the other occupant of the room was. However, he woke hours later, while it was still dark, and sat up groggily. Why'd he wake up?
Maybe he was thirst, or something. With that thought in mind he crept out into the hall of his home, and went to go to the kitchen. But he stopped half-way as he passed the bathroom, his hearing picking up on something.
Someone was crying in there.
Instinct told him who it was, and also that he needed to go in there. So Mika pushed open the door - it hadn't been locked, nor closed - and once inside he did what the other should have done for privacy's sake. Then he faced the wide, red-rimmed eyed Karam, who was standing by the sink.
“O-Oh, I'm sorry, I... just, uhm... I'll leave.”
“No, wait, Hyunchul,” The elder stepped in front of him, blocking his way. He took in how small and fragile he looked, though in truth they were the same height and built similarly. He wasn't himself, and that hurt him to see. “Don't leave, you... I mean, I...” He really wasn't good at the whole comforting thing, that was more of the dancer himself's job.
Karam sniffled, and tried to hide part of his face behind his raised hand. He fought to figure out what to say, and then finally blurted out, “You're not alone. I'm here for you, we all are, don't you know that?”
He'd seemed relatively stable and calm before, but at those words his eyes filled with tears, making them shine and glisten. Mika opened his mouth and stuttered his way into an apology, but before he could finish Karam lurched forward and he was too distracted to. He wrapped his arms around the sobbing boy, resting his cheek on top of his soft locks of hair as the other buried his face into the space between his neck and his shoulder.
He held him as he cried, murmuring gently things and pressing kisses against his head. It was the only thing he could do, and though he didn't think it was a lot, it meant the world to Karam.
They stayed like that for a long time until his heavy sobbing subsided into silent tears that trailed down his cheeks. Mika pulled back and cupped his close friend's face, staring straight into his eyes.
“I know you'll never be able to forget it, but you have to remember that it's a part of the past and it won't happen again, I'll make sure of it. Hyunchul...” He bit his lip, emotions bubbling up in him, making it hard to suppress all the feelings he'd been keeping secret for so long. “We like to see you smiling, and though we know you can't always be happy, you should know that we'll be here to help when you're not, okay?”
He nodded in response, looking as if he was going to burst into tears and sobs again, lips trembling even though he didn't speak. Then he smiled, a small one through tears, but it was still a smile. Mika closed the gap between them and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. He could've kissed his forehead, his cheek, anywhere, but at that moment it had only felt right to cover those pink lips with his own.
Karam's eyes widened slightly, but the smile on his pretty face didn't lessen. Instead a blush crept up on his cheeks. Now that was his Karam.
They went back to their room soon after, and slept in the same bed, the younger curled up against the other's side. They fell asleep like that, content, and that night, Karam hadn't relived that horrible even that had happened so long ago. He slept peacefully with Mika into the morning hours.
That is, until the ball of energy that called itself Jay came hurling into their room and flopped on top of them, with Injoon and Hyunmin not far behind him. Laughing and hugging and teasing, comfortable and glad with each others presence.
They were in it together, no matter what happened. The five boys of super space forever.