That big five letter word...=D
Well...he completely and utterly stole my heart tonight. Kevin said he trusted me. I need it to be known that i havn't been trusted...by anyone....in three years....and he trusts me. wow. it's okay though because honestly, i would trust him with my life. i became whole again tonight.
so tomorrow is the last day of class for two weeks....i'm excited except...it probably means two weeks without seeing bekah...hell...i've gone two days and i'm already having withdrawls...i hallucinated tonite...i thought i saw her car...hehe....it is a love of a different color...my love for her is...i don't know why, exactly...i think she intrigues me...she mystifies me and anything i have to think to figure out just blows me away. she..kind of has this guard....so many people absolutly throw themselves at her...and she can just look at them and say know....it amazes me really...i kind of idolize her i guess...
kay...so it's the second of august...which means....it's...twenty five days until my love leaves....and when he does...i don't know how i'm gonna do it...i mean...we have spent every day except one together since we've started dating..and when he leaves...we're gonna have to go long amounts of time without one another. i know he and i have talked about it and he says he never could...but i'm so afraid he's going to get there...and find someone he's going to fall for...maybe he'll find that perfect asian girl he's always talking about...i don't know what i'll do if i lose him...lonliness does bad things to people....i'm scared...i've never had a long distance relationship before...but i am going to do everything in my power to make this work...if it's meant to be...i've nothing to worry about.
I've been getting these really bad head aches lately...they just keep getting more intense...i almost passed out tonite...i'm really worried about my health...it made me ill....i actually threw up because of this headache...mmm...oh well..i'll get better...i always do...and if not...we all die eventually right?
my eyes long to be closed...
<3 Always and forever,
Lauren Jean
::1/2 Laurenix::
so tomorrow is the last day of class for two weeks....i'm excited except...it probably means two weeks without seeing bekah...hell...i've gone two days and i'm already having withdrawls...i hallucinated tonite...i thought i saw her car...hehe....it is a love of a different color...my love for her is...i don't know why, exactly...i think she intrigues me...she mystifies me and anything i have to think to figure out just blows me away. she..kind of has this guard....so many people absolutly throw themselves at her...and she can just look at them and say know....it amazes me really...i kind of idolize her i guess...
kay...so it's the second of august...which means....it's...twenty five days until my love leaves....and when he does...i don't know how i'm gonna do it...i mean...we have spent every day except one together since we've started dating..and when he leaves...we're gonna have to go long amounts of time without one another. i know he and i have talked about it and he says he never could...but i'm so afraid he's going to get there...and find someone he's going to fall for...maybe he'll find that perfect asian girl he's always talking about...i don't know what i'll do if i lose him...lonliness does bad things to people....i'm scared...i've never had a long distance relationship before...but i am going to do everything in my power to make this work...if it's meant to be...i've nothing to worry about.
I've been getting these really bad head aches lately...they just keep getting more intense...i almost passed out tonite...i'm really worried about my health...it made me ill....i actually threw up because of this headache...mmm...oh well..i'll get better...i always do...and if not...we all die eventually right?
my eyes long to be closed...
<3 Always and forever,
Lauren Jean
::1/2 Laurenix::