in which I am emotional (aka a rant)
My Weekend:
In one word-relaxing. That is until Sunday hit and I had to go back. Then the stomach pains and anxiety came back. Oh, how I had missed them. *heavy sarcasm* All the work of trying to relax over the weekend was wasted as soon as I set foot in Amherst. I also had a study session with Tim in which I felt like a complete idiot since I didn't study and he did. >.< I feel like that is a common feeling these days, that I'm a complete idiot that is. Anyway, it was nice to know Tim can teach himself stuff, he just needed the motivation to study so a he put it "he wouldn't look like an idiot in front of me". tehehe. Then I did some studying with Sarah once Tim left. Then came back to the dorm feeling like my brain had flat lined. Thus I gave up on hw and instead stayed up til 1 talking with Tim and Rachel online. ^^;;; I think it was worth the loss of sleep though since they both succeeded in cheering me up.
Monday:
Was feeling less nervous until I saw my posted chem score... of a 70. Wtf. I was so sure I had gotten a 89 or so and thus felt like crying. Went to spanish class and presented to Carmen after class. I got a perfect score and agreed that for my cultural presentation I would present in front of the class. I do fine if I'm with someone, just not when I'm by myself and luckily she understood this. Came late to nutr and couldn't find Tim so I didn't feel too guilty about closing my eyes and relaxing instead of taking notes.
That night, since Rachel, Sarah and I didn't have much hw, we all decided to go see The Prestige. The movie was interesting. It kept me guessing all the way through but I hated the ending. Damn jerkface! Also, I thought it was more of a character study and one where you didn't even like the main character too much. He let his anger consume him so much so that he became an ugly person. It made me think of Sasuke. ^^;;; So it was nice to get out with "the group" and sing along with Rachel to Backstabber and Girl Anachronism. Good times, good times.
Today:
It started off well. I got my english midterm back and I got a 90, yays! It however went downhill from there. I got my chem test back and did in fact, get a 70. It however became a 72 since he marked one of my answers wrong which was right. This of course is a small consolation since it is still a failing grade in my book. Anything below a 80 is unacceptable! The average for this exam was a 80. I'm wondering if this is a sign that I should just take the easy route and stick with English. I mean, if I can't get an A in chem 110 I'm just doomed, aren't I? Which of course means I have to re-think this whole changing majors thing. Oh, welcome back stomach pains. >.< I seriously though I was going to cry during class and even more so when I got back to the room. I instead put on Diru's Withering to Death and worked on my truth snake. It helped somewhat but I still feel really frustrated and lost. I'm sure I won't be a fun person to be around tonight...
EDIT: Rachel rocks my world. She took me out driving and to Target for some nerds and to just hang out. I so needed to hear 2 hookers and an eight ball and Jesus Christ R'N R at full blast. Yeah, I was so feeling much better after that. ^^
In one word-relaxing. That is until Sunday hit and I had to go back. Then the stomach pains and anxiety came back. Oh, how I had missed them. *heavy sarcasm* All the work of trying to relax over the weekend was wasted as soon as I set foot in Amherst. I also had a study session with Tim in which I felt like a complete idiot since I didn't study and he did. >.< I feel like that is a common feeling these days, that I'm a complete idiot that is. Anyway, it was nice to know Tim can teach himself stuff, he just needed the motivation to study so a he put it "he wouldn't look like an idiot in front of me". tehehe. Then I did some studying with Sarah once Tim left. Then came back to the dorm feeling like my brain had flat lined. Thus I gave up on hw and instead stayed up til 1 talking with Tim and Rachel online. ^^;;; I think it was worth the loss of sleep though since they both succeeded in cheering me up.
Monday:
Was feeling less nervous until I saw my posted chem score... of a 70. Wtf. I was so sure I had gotten a 89 or so and thus felt like crying. Went to spanish class and presented to Carmen after class. I got a perfect score and agreed that for my cultural presentation I would present in front of the class. I do fine if I'm with someone, just not when I'm by myself and luckily she understood this. Came late to nutr and couldn't find Tim so I didn't feel too guilty about closing my eyes and relaxing instead of taking notes.
That night, since Rachel, Sarah and I didn't have much hw, we all decided to go see The Prestige. The movie was interesting. It kept me guessing all the way through but I hated the ending. Damn jerkface! Also, I thought it was more of a character study and one where you didn't even like the main character too much. He let his anger consume him so much so that he became an ugly person. It made me think of Sasuke. ^^;;; So it was nice to get out with "the group" and sing along with Rachel to Backstabber and Girl Anachronism. Good times, good times.
Today:
It started off well. I got my english midterm back and I got a 90, yays! It however went downhill from there. I got my chem test back and did in fact, get a 70. It however became a 72 since he marked one of my answers wrong which was right. This of course is a small consolation since it is still a failing grade in my book. Anything below a 80 is unacceptable! The average for this exam was a 80. I'm wondering if this is a sign that I should just take the easy route and stick with English. I mean, if I can't get an A in chem 110 I'm just doomed, aren't I? Which of course means I have to re-think this whole changing majors thing. Oh, welcome back stomach pains. >.< I seriously though I was going to cry during class and even more so when I got back to the room. I instead put on Diru's Withering to Death and worked on my truth snake. It helped somewhat but I still feel really frustrated and lost. I'm sure I won't be a fun person to be around tonight...
EDIT: Rachel rocks my world. She took me out driving and to Target for some nerds and to just hang out. I so needed to hear 2 hookers and an eight ball and Jesus Christ R'N R at full blast. Yeah, I was so feeling much better after that. ^^