Then there was me.
It is your fault. My pain, my loneliness, my misery. It is your fault and I want you to fix it.
It's just that, in truth, it isn't your fault, is it? No. It never has been anyone else's fault. I know this. I do. It's just so hard to be the blame. I thought I was doing a good job. Maybe that is the issue, maybe I was doing a job. I'm only good at working. I don't know how to do anything else anymore.
Truth is, I'm not really good at working. I know, kinda sad. So here I am, half the world away from my nearest friend. Maybe a 3rd. It is a distance that for me is insurmountable.
Here I am dreaming about others and waking up to know how alone I am. Here I am, having to swallow the truth. I will always be here. Half a world away (maybe a 3rd).
There is no way to yesterday. I cannot capture what I once had again. I am left with memories, that, though most are good, leave me with a sense of regret and remorse.
The past is only the future with the lights on. I have counted up, but all that goes up must come down.
I will do as I was told, and I will "march fearlessly forward" and I hope it quickly takes me away from my self imposed misery.
Of all things, I am responsible, and of all people, I am the one who is cut the deepest. I am the one who comes "home" alone each night to nothing. I am the one who looks forward to nothing.
I am the one who has no one.
But then, there was me.
There is only ever me.
It's just that, in truth, it isn't your fault, is it? No. It never has been anyone else's fault. I know this. I do. It's just so hard to be the blame. I thought I was doing a good job. Maybe that is the issue, maybe I was doing a job. I'm only good at working. I don't know how to do anything else anymore.
Truth is, I'm not really good at working. I know, kinda sad. So here I am, half the world away from my nearest friend. Maybe a 3rd. It is a distance that for me is insurmountable.
Here I am dreaming about others and waking up to know how alone I am. Here I am, having to swallow the truth. I will always be here. Half a world away (maybe a 3rd).
There is no way to yesterday. I cannot capture what I once had again. I am left with memories, that, though most are good, leave me with a sense of regret and remorse.
The past is only the future with the lights on. I have counted up, but all that goes up must come down.
I will do as I was told, and I will "march fearlessly forward" and I hope it quickly takes me away from my self imposed misery.
Of all things, I am responsible, and of all people, I am the one who is cut the deepest. I am the one who comes "home" alone each night to nothing. I am the one who looks forward to nothing.
I am the one who has no one.
But then, there was me.
There is only ever me.