What happened to just parenting?
Fixing Mommy: Book Explains Plastic Surgery to Kids
By GABRIELLE BIRKNER, Staff Reporter of the Sun | April 23, 2008
Direct Link: http://www.nysun.com/news/fixing-mommy-book-explains-plastic-surgery-children
Stephanie Kaster said her body is a temple - one that needs to be redecorated every so often: In recent years, the 39-year-old mother of three has undergone liposuction and a breast reduction. “I tell my kids, ‘Bob the Builder fixes buildings, and there is a doctor that fixes parts of mommy,’” Ms. Kaster said, referring in a single breath to an animated character of children’s television and to her Upper East Side plastic surgeon.
But the next time she fields a question from her 6-year-old daughter about surgical scars or the like, Ms. Kaster, who lives in Midtown, need only open a book: A Bal Harbour, Fla., plastic surgeon has written “My Beautiful Mommy” (Big Tent Books, $19.95), which explains cosmetic surgery to school-age children. The story focuses on a teddy bear-clutching little girl whose mother is about to go in for a nose job and a tummy tuck. In the book, the mother tells her child: “You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn’t fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to fix that and make me feel better.”
Dr. Michael is the book’s author, Michael Salzhauer, a plastic surgeon who said the majority of his patients are young mothers coming in for a series of procedures - a tummy tuck and a breast lift, among them - that he calls “the mommy makeover.” He said the book isn’t meant to glamorize plastic surgery, but to allay children’s fears about their parent’s hospitalization and postoperative recovery. “Kids tend to associate a doctor’s visit with being sick,” Dr. Salzhauer, a father of four, said. “They come in with this puzzled look on their face and ask questions like, ‘Is mommy dying?’”
A Park Avenue plastic surgeon, Paul Lorenc, said his patients today are much younger than they were when he started his practice 19 years ago. Early on, most of them were in their mid-to-late 60s; these days, they tend to be in their 30s and 40s, he said.
Of the 11.7 million people (mostly women) who went in for a cosmetic procedures last year, about 70% percent were under 50, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. As a result of the demographics, Dr. Lorenc said he sees a lot of mothers who want to know how to discuss plastic surgery with their children. Dr. Lorenc encourages parents to talk about how the operations will impact their appearance immediately after the operation and long-term - giving more specifics to older children and fewer details to younger ones. “If the child is 14, 15, or 16, you can give a very rational answer,” he said. “If they’re 3, 4, or 5, it’s unhealthy to say, ‘Mommy has excess skin because I delivered you and your brother and sister, and now I need a tummy tuck.’”
A plastic surgeon with a downtown practice, Sydney Coleman, said he faces many of the same types of questions that Dr. Lorenc does. He called Dr. Salzhauer’s book “a novel idea” and said it would be worth recommending to at least some of his patients.
After flipping through the illustrated manuscript of “My Beautiful Mommy” yesterday, the father of a 9-year-old Cecilia, Dennis Gault, said the text itself is disturbing. “I’m concerned it promotes the wrong values,” Mr. Gault, 42, an elementary school teacher who lives in Battery Park City, said. “I want to pass on the values of compassion and empathy. I want my daughter to be thinking about global issues - not ‘Is my stomach flat enough?’”
His wife, Yachiyo Gault, 40, said that parents of preteenagers should think twice, and perhaps consult a mental health professional, before going in for elective, cosmetic surgery. “Especially if you have a child who is going through puberty, it could send a negative message about getting older and becoming an adult,” she said.
A clinical psychologist with an Upper West Side practice, Alison Brown, said it’s important for parents going in for a nip or a tuck to answer their children’s anxiety-provoking questions about the surgery. But Dr. Salzhauer’s book goes more than a step too far, showing a mother emerging as a butterfly from a cocoon of bandages, according to Ms. Brown, who specializes in eating disorders. “It’s a simplistic approach that says prettier equals better,” she said.
A clinical psychologist with an Upper West Side practice, Alison Brown, said it’s important for parents going in for a nip or a tuck to answer their children’s anxiety-provoking questions about the surgery. But Dr. Salzhauer’s book goes more than a step too far, showing a mother emerging as a butterfly from a cocoon of bandages, according to Ms. Brown, who specializes in eating disorders. “It’s a simplistic approach that says prettier equals better,” she said.
Teaching children about plastic surgery imparts the notion that staying beautiful requires undergoing something radical and painful, Ms. Brown said. She related the story of a teenage patient whose plastic surgery-fixated mother advocated that the girl get facial plastic surgery as well as liposuction. “This really affected my patient, who felt that her mother couldn’t tolerate her,” Ms. Brown said.
A TriBeCa resident, Shannon McCue, said she hoped plastic surgery would become less prevalent by the time her 6-month-old daughter, Isabel, grows up. “Hopefully, the next generation will rebel against all of this,” she said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Holy shit. What the hell happened to the values in this country? With role models like these, one pines for those days when parents could still "discipline" children with belts. And what about every advancement made in womens liberation? There was a time when a woman didn't have to look like a supermodel to feel fulfilled. What happened to that? Now, if you just happen to be shallow enough that you decide you need to be butchered and sewn like some sort of shitty Dick Tracy villain, that's just fine with me. It's your life that you're risking, but devoting a childrens book to justifying something that you shouldn't be doing in the first place is just reprehensible on a brand new level entirely. Imagine every smile on your childs face you'll miss because of your bandaged schnozze. Surgery compromises ones ability to parent to some extent, and the fact that this book has a market tells me more that women are trying to find a way to convince themselves it's alright to do something as mind bendingly retarded as this. Not to mention the damage that could be done to a childs mentality. I suggest we track down any parent who purchases this book for their child and make them buy a book I'll write entitled: "My Beautiful Mommy Feels Worthless Unless She Looks Better Than That Tramp Your Father Ran Away With". It'll be perfect. The profits from book sales will go towards breaking the faces of middle and lower class parents so every child will know the joy of having a parent recuperating from facial reconstruction surgery.
By GABRIELLE BIRKNER, Staff Reporter of the Sun | April 23, 2008
Direct Link: http://www.nysun.com/news/fixing-mommy-book-explains-plastic-surgery-children
Stephanie Kaster said her body is a temple - one that needs to be redecorated every so often: In recent years, the 39-year-old mother of three has undergone liposuction and a breast reduction. “I tell my kids, ‘Bob the Builder fixes buildings, and there is a doctor that fixes parts of mommy,’” Ms. Kaster said, referring in a single breath to an animated character of children’s television and to her Upper East Side plastic surgeon.
But the next time she fields a question from her 6-year-old daughter about surgical scars or the like, Ms. Kaster, who lives in Midtown, need only open a book: A Bal Harbour, Fla., plastic surgeon has written “My Beautiful Mommy” (Big Tent Books, $19.95), which explains cosmetic surgery to school-age children. The story focuses on a teddy bear-clutching little girl whose mother is about to go in for a nose job and a tummy tuck. In the book, the mother tells her child: “You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn’t fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to fix that and make me feel better.”
Dr. Michael is the book’s author, Michael Salzhauer, a plastic surgeon who said the majority of his patients are young mothers coming in for a series of procedures - a tummy tuck and a breast lift, among them - that he calls “the mommy makeover.” He said the book isn’t meant to glamorize plastic surgery, but to allay children’s fears about their parent’s hospitalization and postoperative recovery. “Kids tend to associate a doctor’s visit with being sick,” Dr. Salzhauer, a father of four, said. “They come in with this puzzled look on their face and ask questions like, ‘Is mommy dying?’”
A Park Avenue plastic surgeon, Paul Lorenc, said his patients today are much younger than they were when he started his practice 19 years ago. Early on, most of them were in their mid-to-late 60s; these days, they tend to be in their 30s and 40s, he said.
Of the 11.7 million people (mostly women) who went in for a cosmetic procedures last year, about 70% percent were under 50, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. As a result of the demographics, Dr. Lorenc said he sees a lot of mothers who want to know how to discuss plastic surgery with their children. Dr. Lorenc encourages parents to talk about how the operations will impact their appearance immediately after the operation and long-term - giving more specifics to older children and fewer details to younger ones. “If the child is 14, 15, or 16, you can give a very rational answer,” he said. “If they’re 3, 4, or 5, it’s unhealthy to say, ‘Mommy has excess skin because I delivered you and your brother and sister, and now I need a tummy tuck.’”
A plastic surgeon with a downtown practice, Sydney Coleman, said he faces many of the same types of questions that Dr. Lorenc does. He called Dr. Salzhauer’s book “a novel idea” and said it would be worth recommending to at least some of his patients.
After flipping through the illustrated manuscript of “My Beautiful Mommy” yesterday, the father of a 9-year-old Cecilia, Dennis Gault, said the text itself is disturbing. “I’m concerned it promotes the wrong values,” Mr. Gault, 42, an elementary school teacher who lives in Battery Park City, said. “I want to pass on the values of compassion and empathy. I want my daughter to be thinking about global issues - not ‘Is my stomach flat enough?’”
His wife, Yachiyo Gault, 40, said that parents of preteenagers should think twice, and perhaps consult a mental health professional, before going in for elective, cosmetic surgery. “Especially if you have a child who is going through puberty, it could send a negative message about getting older and becoming an adult,” she said.
A clinical psychologist with an Upper West Side practice, Alison Brown, said it’s important for parents going in for a nip or a tuck to answer their children’s anxiety-provoking questions about the surgery. But Dr. Salzhauer’s book goes more than a step too far, showing a mother emerging as a butterfly from a cocoon of bandages, according to Ms. Brown, who specializes in eating disorders. “It’s a simplistic approach that says prettier equals better,” she said.
A clinical psychologist with an Upper West Side practice, Alison Brown, said it’s important for parents going in for a nip or a tuck to answer their children’s anxiety-provoking questions about the surgery. But Dr. Salzhauer’s book goes more than a step too far, showing a mother emerging as a butterfly from a cocoon of bandages, according to Ms. Brown, who specializes in eating disorders. “It’s a simplistic approach that says prettier equals better,” she said.
Teaching children about plastic surgery imparts the notion that staying beautiful requires undergoing something radical and painful, Ms. Brown said. She related the story of a teenage patient whose plastic surgery-fixated mother advocated that the girl get facial plastic surgery as well as liposuction. “This really affected my patient, who felt that her mother couldn’t tolerate her,” Ms. Brown said.
A TriBeCa resident, Shannon McCue, said she hoped plastic surgery would become less prevalent by the time her 6-month-old daughter, Isabel, grows up. “Hopefully, the next generation will rebel against all of this,” she said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Holy shit. What the hell happened to the values in this country? With role models like these, one pines for those days when parents could still "discipline" children with belts. And what about every advancement made in womens liberation? There was a time when a woman didn't have to look like a supermodel to feel fulfilled. What happened to that? Now, if you just happen to be shallow enough that you decide you need to be butchered and sewn like some sort of shitty Dick Tracy villain, that's just fine with me. It's your life that you're risking, but devoting a childrens book to justifying something that you shouldn't be doing in the first place is just reprehensible on a brand new level entirely. Imagine every smile on your childs face you'll miss because of your bandaged schnozze. Surgery compromises ones ability to parent to some extent, and the fact that this book has a market tells me more that women are trying to find a way to convince themselves it's alright to do something as mind bendingly retarded as this. Not to mention the damage that could be done to a childs mentality. I suggest we track down any parent who purchases this book for their child and make them buy a book I'll write entitled: "My Beautiful Mommy Feels Worthless Unless She Looks Better Than That Tramp Your Father Ran Away With". It'll be perfect. The profits from book sales will go towards breaking the faces of middle and lower class parents so every child will know the joy of having a parent recuperating from facial reconstruction surgery.