And when you think things can't get any worse...
blahblahblah. They always do get worse, though. Always. I may be leaving Eastern next semester. I'm just having too hard of a time dealing with this all. I fucked up by being bipolar and scared of my teacher; now he doesn't want to accept any of my work from the whole semester. I want to die. No, really. I have no will to live. I was looking forward to next semester, sort of. Not anymore. There is not a damned thing to look forward to. Everything is just a fucking let down. The moment I get hopeful, I get fucked over. And I keep coming back for more. I hate school, I hate the holidays, I hate everything. As if I don't get depressed enough during normal days, I'm going to be in full-time holiday depression mode starting... hmm... the day before Thanksgiving break. Actually, I'm half there. I want to spend all my money on people and make them love me. Or, I want to spend it all on my teacher and make him pity me and accept my work. I want a semester of complete sanity and no worries about whether or not I'm failing because I can't go to class. I want to drop out. I want to be taken care of. I want to sleep myself to death.