(no subject)
i've decided having your remains cremated can really be a troubling thing. i always thought i wanted to be burnt and sprinkled around places and travel the world via post as ground up bones... it's pretty selfish of me. with annas death i realized i don't know where her grave is, if she even has one. what if she was cremated? there's no where to visit. what if i'm cremated and there's no where for people to visit me? yeah, i'll be a gooey dead puddle if i were buried but funeral shit isn't about the dead. it's for the people who are now left stuck here without someone. my make believe of being able to still have a glass of wine with an old friend doesn't really work if i don't know where she is since i don't really believe in spirits.