This love means forever..
We've been talking over the past few weeks and Jared wants to join the military. Not right away though, because we're not ready yet. But in a few years, after we get married.. So we can start our family and live comfortably instead of paycheck to paycheck. Now, I understand there'll be those times where I can't be there with him and he can't even contact me.. And just thinking about it is tearing me in two.. Like Basic. How long will it really last? Since I'm still here, I'll probably be at his house all the time. Or if we're renting with Garrin, I'll be there. Another thing is when he has to leave for months on end and we're not here.. Plus what if I'm pregnant? I really don't want to be alone during the middle and end of my pregnancy. Then when the baby does come, I don't want him to miss his very own son or daughter's firsts. It crushes me to think of all the things he'll miss.. And majority of the things I'll have to do alone. All for very good benefits - if the baby gets sick, the hospital for my visits and birth.. It adds up. And if we don't have that nice amount of money coming in.. We probably wont be able to afford kids until way later. And I don't want to be like my mom and wait until I'm 32. I just need to decide if I can handle it before he goes to Basic.. 'Cause he said if he makes it that far, he's not turning around. And he's thinking about going with the Army or Airforce..