Personal update RANT RANT RANTS
So let's try to sort this out and try racking our brains out. First, let's celebrate!! Your Visa is approved!! Great, great!! Really wonderful!! I'm truly truly happy for you!! You've been waiting for years, ages, it's been so long. And it's finally happening. You're really going to Japan! Soon!!
Now I understand that you're becoming a little impatient. Because of course, you're unemployed for like- two weeks now. And you're staying in this room with absolute zero privacy and have to interact with people. But you're doing great! You're doing great, really.
I know you have doubts. And it can't be helped. But you gotta take what you get. You gotta give them the benefit of that doubt. You have to live with this. Just a few more days. Well- it might actually take weeks. But it's gonna be fine. You've been very patient. A few more weeks won't hurt. Remember- you've been waiting for this for half a century. So you're good. This is good. Progress is good.
And it's okay not to worry about how others see you. It's okay not to force yourself. It's okay to save your energy. It's okay to just stay in the room.
But you really should study. You don't have the luxury to slack. You're going to Japan. You have to believe that. With that in mind, the least you can do is get ready. You still have a book to memorize. You have a lot of vocabs to memorize. You can be more productive with your learning instead of worrying.
See? This is why journaling works. You gotta put your thoughts into words. You gotta see your thoughts. Read them. Review them. Evaluate them. Overthinking is different to analyzing. Doing this is a lot better than just thinking out loud.
And however you trust the people around you, you have to remember that they're human beings too. It's always best to keep your thoughts to yourself. Especially if you're about to say something mean. It's not worth it. Keep those thoughts to yourself. Save yourself from yourself.
But I understand it's still worrisome how you'll have to stay here for a couple more days, weeks. So what's the plan? Hmmm let's see. Let's try to establish a routine.
So you wake up at 5 AM. Study, read. I honestly don't care about food. So unless you feel hungry, it's okay not to eat. But you gotta chug lots of water. And self care is important. Take a bath, brush your teeth, wash your face.
Communication, too. At least contact your family once a week. Don't think about missing the reunion. Don't think about the possibility of staying until November. Horrible things are gonna happen. Of course they're going to happen. You're not exactly a saint to not expect any of those. It's the universe and its ways. Disorder is always around the corner. But it's fine, right? That way, it's never boring. This is good. You know you're not really the type to have everything sailing smoothly. You just have to get used to them. Aren't you already used to them?
But damn-- I can't help but imagine my life in Japan. I guess I really am becoming impatient. But who can blame me? I've been imagining this since forever. Life in Japan. My apartment. The nearest convenience store. Magazines with SixTONES on the cover. Me walking from my apartment to the workplace. My workplace. The elders in the workplace. The people I'll be working with. The other Filipinos. The flowers in Japan. The colors of the leaves. It's gonna be Autumn when I arrive in Japan. I am so so excited.
So why don't we explore that instead? Let's start with the apartment. A-san said they'll be contacting Apartment Number 4, right? OMG!! It's my first choice!! I mean, since my very first choice was already taken, Number 4 is my top 1 now. It's the 46k. It's 15 minutes walk to the workplace. Toilet and bathroom are separated. At least the toilet is dry. We want our toilet dry, right? And there's a shoe box. And the balcony!! OMG! I'm so excited! Wait- they're gonna get you a bed, right? Yes, please!! It's good that the closet is not huge. We're not exactly planning to purchase a lot of clothing. We're spending our money with merch. And of course send some in the Philippines.
This is exciting, right? See? You're excited!! OMG! We're excited! Hold on. What else do we remember from the apartment? It's on the 3rd floor. 3rd of 4 floors. Cool! We like high places, right? A-san he'd visit the actual apartment next week and will send pictures!! I'm excited, OMG!!
So I'm checking Google map to see the route going to work and there are parks around the area. One has a basketball ring. Another has those swings and slides. And another huge one with flowers and sakura trees. So around my apartment and workplace, there are more than 10 parks?!! That's crazy!! Nice!
So that's exciting!! Next- I sent an entry to join a lottery for VVS viewing this Saturday! There are only 2 slots so, que serra serra. If it happens, it'll happen. I guess it'll be a good chance to meet other Filipino SixTONES fans. But it also means spending money. So I guess I'll be fine even when I don't get chosen. It's not like I don't care. But I guess I want to save a little money.
Plus, I'm really hoping to get rid of these pimples ASAP. Nerma, a baker from Cebu heading for Qatar, gave me this organic soap and I've giving it a try. All I have to do is wash my face in the morning and before I sleep at night. Let's do it!
I'm uploading SixTONES songs on YouTube Music. I didn't know there's a library to upload local files. This is great! See?! Journaling helps. I feel a lot better now
