2023 is gonna be fine
I think it’s been buggin me
Am I already regretting it? I recently declined a job offer that I apply to work as an English teacher in Japan. Well, I don’t have the confidence. Teachers are always seen as outstanding citizens and very good role models, right? I’m nowhere near that image. Just thinking about it is exhausting. Besides, I’m not a native speaker. Why am I beating myself up? I already declined it. I’m not gonna waste more of my time with regrets. I just gotta make this work- my application for Care Work.
Waaah I feel like none of these would work out. It’s really crappy when things don’t go the way we want. I should have gotten used to it already. But this still sucks. My future. I hate worrying about it. That’s it. I’ll stop worrying. I’ll focus on what’s in front of me. Here and now. I’m in this beautiful island called Mactan and I’m surrounded with kind people. I’m on training for technical sales and it sounds promising. Challenging since it’s my first attempt on sales. But it’ll bring me more chances to earn. Incentives and stuff. I’ll enjoy my present and just count is a bonus when my working visa gets approved. It’s really frustrating when I’m not in control. But I gotta live with this. Why am I complaining? Am living a good life. I’m able to eat whatever I want and not eat when I don’t feel like eating. I can sleep anytime I want and practically do anything with my time. Oh right- money. I’m poor. Exactly! That’s why you’re working.
Brighter note, my Koe album and SixTONES’s concert t-shirt!! They’re coming!! So so excited. Basically the first time I’m actually spending money for SixTONES. I was planning on these things when I’m finally in Japan. But I really don’t know when that’ll happen. I wanna join the fan club already. But I gotta wait. See? Things are good. I’m in a good place. Why am I always ungrateful. Right- my best friend. I’m glad we’re able to communicate and be more honest with each other. Truth be told, it’s a little troublesome to build relationships so I end up holding on to old connections. And I don’t always keep in touch with old friends. At least my best friend. I realize it sounds sad. But relationships are difficult. But hey- life is unpredictable. Full of surprises. My days don’t look so gloomy anymore.
I’ve been telling myself it’s okay not to work too hard. It’s okay not to rush. That it’s fine for Plan A not to work. I’m implementing Plan B now but I’m still hoping that the universe will orchestrate Plan A in time. Please let it happen. It’s difficult now since I can’t just say a prayer and entrust the future to god. I quit that way of thinking. I’m not gonna blame god for my misfortune. But I also don’t have the right to just ask for things. I gotta make it happen. And hope my lucky stars line up. I’m being silly. I don’t believe in luck or fate or heaven and hell. I believe in here and now. I gotta pull myself together. 勉強だ！勉強 勉強! ガンバレN。
Am I already regretting it? I recently declined a job offer that I apply to work as an English teacher in Japan. Well, I don’t have the confidence. Teachers are always seen as outstanding citizens and very good role models, right? I’m nowhere near that image. Just thinking about it is exhausting. Besides, I’m not a native speaker. Why am I beating myself up? I already declined it. I’m not gonna waste more of my time with regrets. I just gotta make this work- my application for Care Work.
Waaah I feel like none of these would work out. It’s really crappy when things don’t go the way we want. I should have gotten used to it already. But this still sucks. My future. I hate worrying about it. That’s it. I’ll stop worrying. I’ll focus on what’s in front of me. Here and now. I’m in this beautiful island called Mactan and I’m surrounded with kind people. I’m on training for technical sales and it sounds promising. Challenging since it’s my first attempt on sales. But it’ll bring me more chances to earn. Incentives and stuff. I’ll enjoy my present and just count is a bonus when my working visa gets approved. It’s really frustrating when I’m not in control. But I gotta live with this. Why am I complaining? Am living a good life. I’m able to eat whatever I want and not eat when I don’t feel like eating. I can sleep anytime I want and practically do anything with my time. Oh right- money. I’m poor. Exactly! That’s why you’re working.
Brighter note, my Koe album and SixTONES’s concert t-shirt!! They’re coming!! So so excited. Basically the first time I’m actually spending money for SixTONES. I was planning on these things when I’m finally in Japan. But I really don’t know when that’ll happen. I wanna join the fan club already. But I gotta wait. See? Things are good. I’m in a good place. Why am I always ungrateful. Right- my best friend. I’m glad we’re able to communicate and be more honest with each other. Truth be told, it’s a little troublesome to build relationships so I end up holding on to old connections. And I don’t always keep in touch with old friends. At least my best friend. I realize it sounds sad. But relationships are difficult. But hey- life is unpredictable. Full of surprises. My days don’t look so gloomy anymore.
I’ve been telling myself it’s okay not to work too hard. It’s okay not to rush. That it’s fine for Plan A not to work. I’m implementing Plan B now but I’m still hoping that the universe will orchestrate Plan A in time. Please let it happen. It’s difficult now since I can’t just say a prayer and entrust the future to god. I quit that way of thinking. I’m not gonna blame god for my misfortune. But I also don’t have the right to just ask for things. I gotta make it happen. And hope my lucky stars line up. I’m being silly. I don’t believe in luck or fate or heaven and hell. I believe in here and now. I gotta pull myself together. 勉強だ！勉強 勉強! ガンバレN。