(no subject)
I’d like to say this story begins with ‘Once Upon a Time’ or ‘In a Faraway Land’, but this wasn’t once upon a time and it sure wasn’t in a faraway land. This was five years ago in Los Angeles, California - where two people who are forced to be together fall into a spiral of love and hate and come out with their happily ever after…after all.
-+-
burning lines in the book of our lives
June 2012
“Wait.” Cook holds up a hand to stop the 19E rep. from speaking further. He paces once, twice in front of her and then sits in one of the chairs set around the large table in the center of the room. “So, you want me -” Cook gestures to himself, just to make absolutely clear they’re all on the same page “- and Archie to.” Cook stops, mouth seemingly incapable of forming the words he’d heard no less than five minutes ago.
“Date, Cook, we want you two to date. Or pretend-date, whatever. Bottom line is, Archuleta has just come out and he’s getting a lot of publicity and nearly everyone is reacting positively to him. It’ll only be for a few months, until September at the latest,” the rep. spits out, far too practiced for Cook’s liking.
“No, no, I got that part; I understand that part.” Cook is speaking very slowly and his eyebrows are knotted and drawn down.
“Excellent, we’ll start on the paperwork -“
“Whoa, whoa. I said I understood, not that I consented,” Cook clarifies, shocking the rep. into silence. “I’m not going to put Archie through this, the kid just fucking came out to the world and you all just want to use him for publicity? The answer is no. Fuck no.” Cook’s voice is strong and his mouth is set in a determined line.
“That’s really touching Cook, honestly, my heart goes out to you, but this is business and in business heart to hearts and feelings don’t matter. We’re doing this whether you want to or not, we’re just giving you the option of having Archuleta with someone he trusts - a friend - but if you’re a no-go, there are plenty of other guys we can find for him.”
The rep. isn’t fucking around; she’s vicious with a side of bitch and she knows exactly where to hit Cook.
“Jesus fuck.” Cook rubs a hand over his face and tries to breathe evenly; it’s not really working. “Fine, where do I sign?”
Cook signs the papers and agrees to meet up with David the next day for a ‘meeting’, and as soon as he puts the pen down and the 19E rep. saunters out of the room, wide smile firmly in place, he feels a giant, steaming pool of guilt settle in his stomach.
The fact that Cook’s going to be with David instead of some random guy who would most likely be an asshole and try to force David into shit he wasn’t ready for doesn’t really make him feel any better.
++
“What?” David asks, his mouth hanging open slightly and eyes buggeing out.
Julie only hesitates for a fraction of a second before repeating, a little slower: “19E is setting you up with David Cook for publicity.”
David hears her loud and clear this time.
“Like - like setting us up as friends, right?”
David might be naive, but he’s not stupid and he knows exactly how she means ‘setting up’.
“Like as boyfriends,” Julie replies, a hint of guilt in her voice. “I tried talking them out of it, I swear I did, but they wouldn’t budge; didn’t even blink when I threw break ups and not getting along and this entire thing turning sour at them, just waved your job in front of me and sent me on my way. There was nothing I could do. I’m so sorry.”
Julie pulls out a folder from her bag and flips it open, pulling out two sheets.
“What are those?” David asks, misery clearly evident in his voice.
“Paperwork, standard stuff. I just need you to sign them.”
Julie tries to rein in her emotions - she was never good with keeping them at bay around David - and hands the paperwork to him.
“I always thought when I got my first boyfriend it’d be because I really felt something for him, not because my career was threatened.” David smiles, but it’s more sad than happy, and he signs the paperwork without any hesitation. “Guess things don’t always work out how you hoped, huh?” The laugh that follows is hollow and Julie tries not to flinch.
“Guess not,” she agrees, and takes the paperwork back.
++
The only really awkward part about the whole being set-up with Cook, David thinks, is the whole bit where he ends up moving into Cook’s apartment and trying to figure out how to turn a one-bedroom into a two-bedroom.
“No, seriously, I’m fine with the couch, Arch. You take my bed.”
David is about to protest for the tenth time but before he can even get the word ‘no’ out of his mouth, Cook is pushing David and his suitcase right to his room.
“I’m not taking no for an answer,” is the last thing Cook says before disappearing to find sheets and blankets for the couch in the living room.
David scans Cook’s room - it’s a lot cleaner than he would’ve expected and there isn’t crazy rock memorabilia everywhere. The bed is centered against the far wall; it’s really big and looks ridiculously comfortable. David walks into the room and sets his suitcase on the bed before taking a deep breath and sitting on the bed next to his suitcase.
The room smells like Cook, musky with a hint of something David can’t quite put his finger on, and the blanket is soft under his hands. David gives the room one last once-over before he starts unpacking his things and starts making Cook’s room smell like - well, like him.
--
“So.”
Cook claps his hands together and David shifts from foot to foot - he finished unpacking and now that the dust is settling, things are getting awkward.
“Um.” David’s looking around the small apartment, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do - what he can do.
“How about dinner?” Cook suggests, and David has to stop himself from sighing out loud in relief.
“Yes please, I am so hungry.”
The air thins and the tension dies down a bit, but there’s still that giant pink elephant in the room, the one neither of them want to confront just yet.
Cook orders Thai and it takes him fifteen minutes because he can’t pronounce anything, and David is laughing at him and trying to grab the phone and saying, ‘here, let me do it!’, but Cook is determined to get it right. When the food is finally ordered and Cook has hung up and the laughter has died down, the tension slowly starts to creep back into the room again.
“Movie?” David says, but it’s more of a question.
Cook thinks of all the movies he has and then nods.
“Sounds good.”
--
Two hours later, there was Thai take-out spread all across the coffee table and they were halfway through their second movie - some weird slasher film that David hadn’t really wanted to watch but Cook insisted upon because it was old school and awesome and he’d love it. (David really didn’t like it, but he kept that to himself.)
“So, we should probably talk about this.”
David stiffens as Cook leans over to grab the remote and pause the movie.
“About what? The movie? Because I mean, it’s so obvious the guy is hiding behind the door and the girl is about to like, get killed, which is horrible because she seems really nice and -”
“I’m not talking about the movie,” Cook interrupts and David falls silent beside him.
He rubs his hands up and down his thighs and then reluctantly turns to face Cook.
“Do we have to?” David asks, miserably, and Cook nods.
“We have to,” Cook replies and then it’s silent.
“…What exactly do we have to talk about? I mean, if - if you’re not okay with me staying here - or whatever - until this whole thing is over than I can like, I can just move back and visit a lot or, um, something.” David isn’t usually this speech-impaired around Cook, which isn’t saying a lot since they haven’t really seen much of each other since the Manila shows in ’09, but it’s - David still doesn’t think he should be this stuttery and everything.
“David, stop. Look, it’s nothing like that. I like having you here; it’s like the good old days, right? On the tour bus, going from city to city and just hanging out. I’m talking about how you’re feeling right now, I mean, Jesus -” David flinches. “-You just came out to everyone and you were just…willing to jump into the wagon and go flying down the hill?”
Cook’s concerned, David can see it in his eyes but he’s not -
“I’m fine! Gosh, I wish everyone would just stop treating me like a baby. I get it, okay, my coming out was a big deal to everyone and even to me but it’s not like I’m going to breakdown or start crying or something -”
Except then he is crying and Cook is moving over to him and wrapping him in a hug.
“Hey, come on, you know I didn’t mean it like that. Look, I’m just worried, okay? I don’t want you feeling pressured or stressed out, this isn’t a dating thing, don’t think of it like that, we’re friends. We’re just hanging out, that’s all.”
Cook pulls David in closer and smoothes his hair down.
David ignores the tight feeling in his chest; ignores the way he doesn’t want Cook to ever let go. Ignores the tiny twist of pain at Cook’s words.
Cook ignores that same pain, too.
--
“It’s nothing I can’t handle, I’m fine. Jesus Christ, I wish everyone would stop asking me that.”
“What the fuck do you expect, man? You were just shoved into a relationship with some kid you knew on Idol and you’re supposed to, what, just be okay with that?”
Neal is almost yelling and Cook rubs a hand over his tired eyes.
“He’s not some kid from Idol, he’s a really good friend of mine, and I’m doing this to help him out. 19E basically said they would hook him up with some random if I didn’t volunteer myself; it’s a shitfest and I couldn’t just leave him with some asshole.”
Cook shifts on the couch; it’s somewhere around 2AM and his phone had woken him up from a half sleep.
“You’re too nice; I would’ve told them to fuck off.”
A heavy silence falls over the line.
“You did it for me,” Cook says, quietly.
“Yeah,” Neal replies and then the silence stretches on again.
++
David wakes with a start. He sits up in bed and is momentarily confused as to where he is, but once the sleep clears from his mind, he remembers and falls back against the pillows. They all smell like Cook, everything smells like Cook, and David blushes when the dream he had had last night floods into his brain.
Images of him and Cook. In this bed. With Cook all around him.
David shivers and shakes his head, trying to erase those images.
“Arch? Breakfast!” Cook calls from outside the room and David is tempted to just pretend he’s sleeping, but - well, Cook is awake before David and that sort of makes him curious.
David slowly makes his way out into the kitchen; it smells like bacon and waffles and it makes David’s stomach rumble and growl.
“Hungry?” Cook asks with a smirk.
David just nods and seats himself on a large stool at a bar-type-thing.
“No kitchen table?” David asks through a yawn, and Cook shakes his head.
“Never needed one. Guess I’ll have to get one, now.” Cook smiles and unloads a pile of bacon onto a plate with waffles. “Here, made it just for you.”
David ignores the way his stomach flips and smiles and thanks Cook.
“I’m gonna go hop in the shower while you eat, I have some things I gotta do today. Uh, you can come if you want? Unless you have stuff to do.”
Cook is standing just outside the kitchen and David looks at him, mouth full of bacon.
Cook laughs and says, “answer when I get back.”
David tells himself he’s imagining things when he sees Cook wait for just a second more and then leave with a smile.
--
David decided to go with Cook -after all, they might as well start doing stuff like running errands together and being seen by the paparazzi, right?
It’s a complete mess; they have to go to the grocery store to pick up some, healthier food choices and there are four paps inside the store and two outside, all of them snapping pictures of Cook and David.
Then there are three when they go to Cook’s studio. Cook has to lay down vocals on a few tracks and then he wanted noodle around with Andy and Neal on guitar for a bit. David mostly sits in the recording booth with Cook’s producer John reading the magazines in there, or watching Cook, or checking the time every ten minutes.
It’s sort of really boring and halfway through David slips out for some air - it’s hot and stuffy in the booth and Neal keeps looking at him from the other side of the glass and it’s making him uncomfortable.
After five minutes of pacing outside of the booth, David decides he’ll just slip out - Cook probably won’t even notice - and go back to Cook’s apartment.
Just in case though, David sends Cook a quick text and then calls for a taxi. It only takes the driver ten minutes to get to the studio and Cook still hadn’t replied so David jumps into the back quickly and gives the driver Cook’s address.
++
“Where did Archie go?” Cook stops strumming, his eyes squinted as he looks into the booth.
“Uh, no idea. I think he walked out like a half hour ago, guess he didn’t come back.” John shrugs and fiddles with a few knobs and buttons and then says, “okay guys, let’s try it one more time.” And Cook ignores the sinking feeling in his stomach and starts singing.
++
When David gets inside Cook’s apartment he feels like maybe he should’ve gone and done something instead. It’s dark and empty and he feels - he feels like he doesn’t belong here. There are guitars and pictures of guys with long hair and rock people that David doesn’t know and it’s - well, it’s Cook’s.
And David sticks out like a sore thumb.
David frowns and runs his fingers along the back of the couch; he really wishes this hadn’t happened. That he hadn’t been - that Cook hadn’t been forced into this. David wishes he had come out with a boyfriend just so he wouldn’t have to deal with all of it. With the publicity, with 19E using his coming out for their own purposes.
David wishes he had said yes to Benton.
--
When Cook gets home, David is nowhere to be found, and for a split second Cook is sure he packed all his stuff and just left, but when he checks his room David is fast asleep on the bed. Cook ignores the huge wave of relief that washes over him.
Cook shouldn’t - he shouldn’t want to wake up early and make David breakfast, he shouldn’t want to hold his hand when they’re shopping, he shouldn’t want to kiss David so badly.
Cook shouldn’t want any of that. But he does, he wants it all and more.
“We’re friends,” Cook says softly to himself. “Friends,” he repeats and pushes every un-friend-like feeling down to the bottom of his stomach and goes to grab a beer from the fridge.
--
When David wakes up the next morning, there is no smell of cooking food, or, well, any sound at all. David checks his phone: it’s ten am and dead silent.
David gets up slowly; he rubs the sleep from his eyes and pulls down his pajama shirt. As soon as he’s down the hallway he knows Cook is sleeping; it’s completely silent - no footsteps, no humming, no tv, no cooking.
David peeks around the corner and is surprised to see Cook isn’t sleeping because he’s - well, he’s not even there. David stops and looks around the apartment; it looks like Cook hadn’t even come home last night. David sighs and runs a hand through his hair then goes to make himself breakfast.
++
Everything hurts, is the first thought that runs through Cook’s head. Which also hurts, a whole fucking lot.
“Wha -”
Cook tries to sit up but something shifts in his stomach and then he’s up and running to the bathroom to vomit everything in his stomach out. “Oh my fucking God,” Cook groans and falls onto the bathroom floor. His mind is fuzzy and the events of last night are blurry and hardly there.
It’s been a really long time since Cook has drunk that much and he wonders why he was that stupid anyway.
But then he remembers David, at his place, sleeping in his bed and being so fucking - so him, and making Cook wish that none of this had happened because it totally fucked everything up and now - now Cook was all Romeo and fucking Juliet over the kid all over again.
-+-
David and Cook’s journey first began in February of 2008, when Cook realized that maybe David was more than just competition and David realized that maybe Cook was his first crush.
**
“I’m Cook.”
Cook held his hand out for the boy to shake but instead he just looked at the outstretched hand.
“Um, David,” David replied, like he was unsure of himself - unsure of why Cook was even talking to him.
Cook pulled his hand back with a laugh. “So, what do you call cheese that isn’t yours?”
Cook couldn’t help but grin at the completely blank expression on David’s face.
“Um, isn’t it still cheese?” David asked quietly and Cook burst out laughing.
“Nacho cheese,” Cook managed despite his laughter and David gave him a hesitant smile, and then it grew and his eyes lit up.
“Oh! I totally get it!” David said excitedly.
It was right then that Cook maybe gave a little bit of himself to David, without even realizing it.
**
-+-
When Cook finishes emptying his stomach into the toilet, he wanders out of the room he was in and realized he’s at Neal’s place.
Neal is in the kitchen making coffee and Kira is flipping eggs on the stove.
“Morning sunshine,” Neal says with a smirk and pours two cups of coffee.
“Nggh, what happened last night?”
Cook’s brain feels like it’s going to fall out or something, it hurts so bad, and it’s way too bright in the kitchen.
“Here.” Neal hands him a steaming cup and two pills. “And I have no idea, you came banging on our door at two in the morning and you were already wasted. You tripped over nothing coming into the house and almost broke Kira’s favorite picture on the way to the room.”
Neal gives a short laugh as Kira glares at Cook.
“You’re not telling me something, what’re you not telling me?”
Cook has known Neal for a very, very long time and he knows when he’s hiding something.
Neal rubs the back of his neck and Kira focuses entirely on the eggs, as if they were the most important things in the world. “Uh, you had a girl with you. She left about an hour ago.”
Cook feels his heart sink when everything comes flooding back: the bar, the girls, the drinks, the - everything.
Cook isn’t even sure why he feels as bad as he does, it’s not like he - like he cheated on David because fuck, they aren’t even really dating, but it feels like it.
It feels like he just did the worst thing imaginable and Cook’s already thinking up lies and excuses to tell David when he gets home.
The fact that David probably won’t even care does nothing to ease the guilt.
++
David is idly flipping through channels on the tv when the front door opens and Cook comes in. He’s being quiet and David ignores that tight feeling in his chest, pulling the air from his lungs and making it just a bit harder to breathe properly.
“Oh, you’re up.” Cook sounds almost disappointed and David just nods, keeping his eyes trained on the tv.
“Yeah.” David flips the channel again and he can sense Cook standing at the edge of the living room, staring at David like he has something to say.
Cook doesn’t. He just walks away and minutes later David hears the shower start.
David wipes at his eyes and flips the channel again.
--
A week later Cook invites himself into David’s room while David is on his laptop and tells him that they are going out.
David sits on his bed, staring blankly at Cook.
“What?” David asks, hands frozen where they’re hovering over the keyboard.
“We are going out, I’m taking you to dinner.”
Cook’s grinning and then David notices that he’s dressed up - or well, he’s Cook-dressed-up. He looks really good and David subconsciously licks his lips.
“Um, okay,” David replies after a brief pause, then he closes his laptop and gets up. “Fancy or casual?” David asks, blushing when Cook stares at him, eyes roaming his body and then flicking up to David’s eyes.
“Wear anything, you’ll look good either way.”
And then Cook’s walking back out the door, leaving David to digest the compliment.
David goes for fancy-casual and his entire body turns red when Cook whistles long and low as he walks into the living room.
--
“Here, you have to try this. It’s delicious.”
Cook cuts off a piece of his steak and leans over the table so he can feed it to David. It makes David flush in the best way and Cook feels a flutter in his stomach.
The steak isn’t that good, it’s just normal but Cook needs a reason to get close to David - he needs to be close to him.
“Wow, that is really good,” David says as he licks his lips and it distracts Cook, causes him to falter as he goes to cut off a piece of steak for himself.
“So, next weekend is the Fourth of July and I was thinking about flying down to my parents place, I thought maybe you’d like to come? You can invite your family too.” Cook tries to sound nonchalant, like he hasn’t been thinking about it for the past seven days.
“Oh, um. Actually, that would be really cool. I’ll talk to my mom. And I know Jazzy, Amber and Daniel will want to come - they like totally love you.” David takes another bite of his Salmon and Cook grins.
“Awesome,” Cook says, and if it’s a little breathless it’s because it’s hot in the restaurant, not because he had been holding his breath.
--
“Don’t worry about that stuff, mom. I’ll have it all covered; it’ll be fun, right? His - Cook’s parents are awesome and you can get to know them and stuff.” David switches the phone from his left ear to his right and keeps pacing around Cook’s room.
“That sounds wonderful, Davey. I’ll talk to the girls and Daniel and phone you later, okay? I love you,” Lupe replies and David nods.
“Yeah, okay. Love you, too.”
The line goes dead and David falls onto the bed, dropping his phone beside him and letting out a huge sigh. David feels really giddy; he feels excited and happy that Cook asked this, that Cook wants him to meet his family and spend more time with him.
It means - it means they’re friends.
“Friends. Right.” David reminds himself and then rolls onto his stomach, breathing heavily into the comforter.
It doesn’t help because when he inhales, all he smells is Cook.
++
Cook is - well, he’s a guy. And he has needs, and those needs can only be denied for so long.
David is sleeping and it’s dark and he can just - he can jack off for the first time in days without getting disturbed or being too tired to even move.
Cook has mastered the art of silent masturbation - hell, he’s lived on a bus with four other guys for months so he knows how to be quiet - how to sound like he’s sleeping.
Cook’s hand creeps down his chest, slow as he can and then slips under his boxers, goosebumps pimpling his skin with the first stroke and that fire ignites in his stomach, the fire he knows only one way to get rid of. Cook’s toes curl as he hardens in his hand; his breathing starts to come out in soft pants and his eyes slip shut as he lets the pleasure take over. Cook starts out slow, barely there stroking until he’s hard and precome is leaking onto his hand.
He thinks of David - David spread out, on his back on Cook’s bed, eyes glazed over and lips wet and swollen and his - his dick curled up against his stomach, hard and dripping precome and begging to be touched.
Cook imagines David looking at him through his lashes, those eyes staring into Cook’s and inviting him in, begging Cook to take David.
“Fuck,” Cook moans, and then bites his lip to stop anything else from coming out and concentrates on fucking his fist. Waves of pleasure wash over him, he can feel it in his stomach and his groin, he’s so close - he’s -
Cook freezes when he hears a soft gasp because it wasn’t - that wasn’t him. Cook rips his hand from out of pants and sits up, the blanket pooling in his lap.
“David!” Cook’s voice comes out breathless and he can still feel his dick throbbing in his lap and David is just sort of staring at him, all open-mouth and bug-eyed and - and he’s - there’s a tent in his pajama pants. Cook closes his eyes and opens them again because there is no fucking way - but when they open, the tent is still there and it’s very real.
And David is blushing so hard because he knows Cook sees it, then he turns and practically runs back to the room.
Cook falls back on the couch and breathes deeply, rubs a hand over his face and then looks down at the tent in his boxers.
“Fucking - fuck,” Cook mumbles and rubs his dick through the material. That fire in his stomach flares and he comes with only two more strokes with the very real image of David’s dick tenting his pants in Cook’s mind.
--
David is mortified; he’s basically considering telling 19E to go do something very not nice to themselves and then going and hiding at his mom’s house for the rest of his life.
Cook had been - and David had - and Cook had seen!
David stays in the room the entire day, only sneaking out four times to get food and go to the bathroom. David is on his computer mostly and he reads a few chapters in some random book he found in Cook’s nightstand drawer and then he kind of snoops around Cook’s room - which he knows is so completely wrong but he’s totally bored and the internet is so dead and his meeting got cancelled and just - whatever.
David isn’t surprised by any of the things he finds anyway, just clothes and some CDs and - um, interesting DVDs and more clothes and normal things.
Except when David opens the bottom drawer of Cook’s nightstand and something thumps in the back and of course David’s curiosity makes him take the drawer out and find out what fell.
David flushes down to his toenails when he sees what it is and then he shoves the drawer back in. It’s long and flesh-colored and David had only seen them once when a - when a sex toy site had popped up while he was surfing the Internet.
Cook has a dildo.
And it’s big. At least, David thinks it is.
And it stirs something in David’s stomach, something that isn’t entirely bad or unwanted - and that scares David.
++
“So, wait, he caught you masturbating?”
Neal is laughing so hard Cook is pretty sure he might die. If Cook doesn’t kill him first.
“Yeah, you should’ve seen his face it was - but then he had a hard-on and it made me -“
“Whoa! Too many fucking details, I don’t need to know what freaky stuff you two did.”
Neal is still laughing though, and Cook is seriously contemplating buying a gun.
“Oh fuck you, you know what I meant.”
But there isn’t any anger in his voice and Neal just keeps laughing.
“You are so fucked. Or well, I guess Archuleta is the fucked one. Or will be. Whatever.”
Cook’s dick twitches at the thought and his mind sort of goes blank and then Neal is yelling and laughing again and saying, “That is so sick”, and “don’t you dare jack off while you’re on the phone with me!”
Cook is about to retort with some smartass reply but his call waiting beeps. “Shit, hang on, there’s someone on the other line.”
Neal just grunts and Cook switches the call over.
“Hello?” Cook asks.
“Hi honey, I just wanted to call and see if you and David are still up to coming down this weekend,” Beth says and Cook can hear someone yelling in the background.
“Is Andrew there already? What a mooch.” Cook laughs when he hears Andrew yelling again and Beth just sighs into the phone.
“You know your brother.” Beth gives a snort and yells for Andrew to shut up and Cook grins into the phone, “So, are you two coming down?”
Cook pauses - does David still want to go? “Uh, hang on I’ll go ask Arch.”
Cook pulls the phone from his ear and slowly walks toward his - David’s - whoever’s room and knocks lightly on the door.
“Hey Arch, uh, did you still want to go to my parent’s place for Fourth of July?”
Cook holds his breath as he waits for the response, it takes a few minutes but Cook hears it, that quiet yes.
“Yeah, we’re still on.” Cook tells Beth, relief washing over him and then he goes back to the couch. “We’ll be there Saturday.”
--
It’s nearly six o’clock when David finally comes out into civilization; Cook is watching Jeopardy and munching on chips and he turns surprised eyes on David when he sees him walk out.
“Didn’t think you were gonna come out at all today, you feeling sick or something?” Cook decides to maybe play it off like last night didn’t even happen - he half hopes David will too.
“Um.” David blushes and ducks his head, turning to the kitchen and answering with a quiet, “or something.”
David grabs a banana off the counter and a bottle of water from the fridge and then goes to sit on the couch - as far from Cook as possible - and watches Jeopardy in silence.
David can feel Cook’s eyes on him as he takes a few sips of water and then there’s this choked off noise when David starts eating the banana. David ignores the stares and that noise and finishes his banana as quickly as he can.
“So,” Cook says, his voice tight and rough, and David ignores the shiver that runs down his spine.
David shifts, he can feel something stir in his stomach and it’s not completely unpleasant. Cook tries to subtly move closer to him but David is hyper sensitive to the movement and his heart maybe jumps into his throat.
“I’m sorry about, um, you know.” David is blushing and Cook freezes in his spot, totally not expecting David to be the one to bring that up.
“Um, it’s - uh, it’s all good.” Cook coughs and folds his hands in his lap, ignoring the way the images from last night pour in his brain and how all he can think of is the fact that David was turned on.
David shifts, he can feel something stirring and he’s almost positive he knows what it is and he so does not want it to be happening now. It’s not like - okay, David has masturbated before, it was only a couple times and it made him feel so guilty after but during it was - it was awesome and maybe on more than one occasion David has fantasized about Cook - well, you know.
Cook slides just a little closer and now their thighs are almost touching and David’s heart jumps and he can feel the heat radiating off Cook.
“No - I shouldn’t have - it’s my fault.” David isn’t sure what he’s saying, he knows it makes no sense but he can’t seem to form a proper sentence that makes any actual sense. David’s brain feels like a scrabble game where all the words are gibberish.
“It was your fault,” Cook says and then their thighs are touching and David breaks out into goosebumps, a tingle spreads from his toes up to his ears and he has to stop himself from shivering at the touch. “Totally your fault.” David catches Cook licking his lips from the corner of his eye and he wonders what it’d be like to -
“Um.” David swallows and stares at Cook’s hands, they’re lying on Cook’s knees but David sort of wants them on him.
As if Cook can read his mind, he reaches over with one hand and lets it rest on David’s knee, the touch is light but it shocks David’s body and his mind goes blank.
“Oh.” David’s breath hitches when Cook’s hand starts to move up, he’s going slow, as if to test how far he can push David and right then, David is willing to let Cook push him however far Cook wants.
“I - uh, I -” David is glad he’s not the only one that can’t form a coherent sentence and his heart thuds in his chest as Cook stops his hand, just below David’s groin. David is - he’s - and he knows Cook can see it.
David’s mouth parts and he sucks in a shaky breath and tries to concentrate on something but it’s -
And then Cook pulls his hand away and stands, he runs a hand across his face and stares at David desperately.
“I’m sorry, I - I gotta go… do something.”
David can tell Cook’s lying but he just nods and sinks as far as he can into the couch and when Cook leaves, the shutting door echoes through the apartment.
“Oh my heck,” David gasps out. His entire body feels like its on fire and he’s still so turned on. David rubs a hand across his groin and his back arches off the couch, it feels so good it’s almost painful.
David masturbates quickly, making a sticky mess in his boxers and then showers and scrubs himself clean under scalding hot water.
++
“I am so fucked. I am beyond fucked, what the fuck.”
Cook drops his head on the bar and Andy laughs and pats his back.
“Hate to tell you this, but you’ve always been fucked up. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.” Andy bites back a grin and orders two more beers for them. “Aren’t you two going to your mom’s for the Fourth? Doesn’t she only have one spare room?”
Cook pulls his face from off the bar to glare at Andy. “I hate you so much,” Cook says as he glares.
“Love you too, man.”
--
The flight to Missouri is awkward and feels longer than it should. It’s just David and Cook - David’s mom and siblings are flying out the next day.
Cook knows they’re going to have to paste on smiles when they land, just like they had to when they got to LAX and there were dozens of paps, all snapping pictures and asking questions. Cook had grabbed David’s hand so they wouldn’t lose each other in the mess of photographers and that prompted more questions and more pictures.
Cook can still feel the tingle of having David’s hand in his own and he’s wondering if David can feel it too.
++
David keeps his eyes out the window, watching the clouds pass by and ignoring the bright sun. David’s trying to keep himself calm, he’s trying to breathe evenly - he’s trying not to cry because this all really sucks.
David’s mind keeps going back to LAX and Cook grabbing his hand tightly, keeping him close and David feels his breath stutter. David wants - he wants to hold Cook’s hand again, it was so soft but rough too and it was warm.
It felt right.
--
They’re greeted with hugs and kisses and more hugs and then some teasing from Andrew. Beth hugs David four times and Stan shakes his hand and Andrew messes up his hair. Cook gets five hugs and two kisses from Beth, a pat on the back from Stan and a smack over the head from Andrew.
After all the welcomes and hugs, Cook leads them up to the spare room.
“Um.” David looks around at the bedroom. “One bed,” David points out as Cook sets his bag on the bed.
“Yeah, I’ll um, I’ll sleep on the floor if you’re uncomfortable with -”
“No!” David says quickly and then, “no, it’s fine,” a little slower.
“Okay,” Cook smiles and opens his bag.
--
“You two are just the sweetest things.” Beth is smiling and watching as David and Cook fight over how to set the table. “Can’t believe you’ve been hidin’ him from us.” Beth wags a finger at Cook and it makes David grin.
“Hiding him? Cook has been ankles over head for Archie since Idol and he’s done a shitty job at hiding it,” Andrew pipes in as he walks into the kitchen, a chocolate bar hanging from his mouth.
Cook glares at Andrew and David blushes because - well, what? And then he feels guilty because they’re lying to Cook’s family - David is lying to his own family. They’re not dating, not really but everyone thinks they are.
David’s eyes find Cook’s and then he smiles at Beth.
“Where are the napkins?” David asks, ignoring what Andrew had said because it wasn’t - Cook doesn’t love him.
ON TO PART TWO