In My Quiet Place...
christmas has always been a quiet day for me. morning service, quiet. sometimes snow, quiet. winter coat and blanket, quiet. opening presents with just four of us, and still - quiet. this evening was not quite as quiet because i spent it with maya's family, but it was still very pleasant. and it's always been quiet, but in a pleasant, comfortable way. in the sense of silence between two very good friends.
i'm glad christmas has passed in the way it did and i got to do most of the things i intended to. i still have to give presents to my tutoring kids, whom i love dearly, but forgot to bring the gifts for on saturday in the whirlwind after my concert (and late-night talks with alexandria and sander, ah the good times ^^).
it sucks when you can't do anything tangible for a friend who's in some intense distress. i'm sorry. i wish i had better words. i wish i had better hugs. i wish i were wiser, to help you more. oh poor baby...*hug* it breaks my heart to see him like that, but unable to do anything about it.
i thought this was going to be a short entry in which i reported an unprecedented event...but i guess my verbosity just leaks onto lj. ^^
i held andrew oppa's hand last night. christmas eve, that is.
and as much as i'm over him, for the most part...there will always be a part of my heart that will love him, and that part jumped and gave me a small, private thrill last night. we were praying and his hand was warm and solid, and firmly holding mine...and i almost cried. i felt warm and enveloped, though connected by only a hand. that is the joy and beauty in reciprocation. it wasn't a reciprocation of love, i don't lie to myself - but still, just...even to simply have a friendly, willing touch, even in a group prayer...it was awe-inspiring.
and oot...the mistakes you make sometimes...*sigh* i'll deal. whatever. i'm used to it already. if he can't get his emotions straight, i'll just deal on my end, like i usually do. love the kid to pieces anyway, what'll i do? hehe.
overall, life is good. it's good to talk to xiaoqi again too. ^_^
i'm off. over.
out.
i'm glad christmas has passed in the way it did and i got to do most of the things i intended to. i still have to give presents to my tutoring kids, whom i love dearly, but forgot to bring the gifts for on saturday in the whirlwind after my concert (and late-night talks with alexandria and sander, ah the good times ^^).
it sucks when you can't do anything tangible for a friend who's in some intense distress. i'm sorry. i wish i had better words. i wish i had better hugs. i wish i were wiser, to help you more. oh poor baby...*hug* it breaks my heart to see him like that, but unable to do anything about it.
i thought this was going to be a short entry in which i reported an unprecedented event...but i guess my verbosity just leaks onto lj. ^^
i held andrew oppa's hand last night. christmas eve, that is.
and as much as i'm over him, for the most part...there will always be a part of my heart that will love him, and that part jumped and gave me a small, private thrill last night. we were praying and his hand was warm and solid, and firmly holding mine...and i almost cried. i felt warm and enveloped, though connected by only a hand. that is the joy and beauty in reciprocation. it wasn't a reciprocation of love, i don't lie to myself - but still, just...even to simply have a friendly, willing touch, even in a group prayer...it was awe-inspiring.
and oot...the mistakes you make sometimes...*sigh* i'll deal. whatever. i'm used to it already. if he can't get his emotions straight, i'll just deal on my end, like i usually do. love the kid to pieces anyway, what'll i do? hehe.
overall, life is good. it's good to talk to xiaoqi again too. ^_^
i'm off. over.
out.