On everyday sadism
Have you ever felt like you're being verbally tied up and then emotionally raped? Or rather, let me put it this way: have you ever tried explaining something to someone, something which meant so much to you it practically made you cry? You stand there, talking agitatedly, trying so hard to make the other person see why you're so worked up over this, and then they just throw it in your face and humiliate you? Then you look into the face of the person who has just belittled, ridiculed or otherwise affronted you, and you expect to see the sneering face of your worst enemy, because what they said demonstrated such disrespect for you as an individual that you're gob-smacked and can't really find your tongue. Instead you see one of your friends. One of the boys.
The thing is, they don't really mean anything by it. They're not trying to be cruel, you tell yourself, even though they just took something that really meant something to you and threw it in the gutter with a coarse laugh. They just made a few jokes, really, they just cracked a few snippy comments when you were trying to be serious. You keep telling yourself that. They didn't really mean anything by it, they were just having a bit of fun at your expense.
But it still stings like a bitch, doesn't it? And you just know this guy is going to do it again at some later point. And again, and again, every time he feels like it. And you're powerless to stop him. You're trying so hard to connect with him, trying to explain something important, and all you get is a grin, a horribly harmless comment about something to do with your personality, and sniggers all around from his pals.
Why do men do this? They seem to be getting some sort of pleasure out of seeing me hurt or angry, or preferably a combination of both. “You're so cute when you're mad, that's just because you're a girl, see what I have to live with?” And those are my close friends. Whenever I'm trying to communicate with a man, and he - for whatever reason - loses interest in the conversation, he makes it a point to offend me, just to see me angry or upset. They get a kick out of it. I don't know if it's because they can't hold their own in a serious discussion, or if they're sadists, but for whatever reason, they love seeing me hurt.
Me as in, women in general.
Please, darling Internet, explain this to me. Are they sadists? Are they afraid of women on a general basis? Do they feel better about themselves if they see someone else hurting? Do they think it'll be easier to get into my pants if they make me cry first? I am begging you, particularly the men out there, to explain this to me. I'm not joking and I'm not trying to be a bitch, I just need to understand this. I have never, not once in my life, wanted to hurt someone else for fun and I have never done it on purpose, either. What is it that is so appealing about making another individual feel worthless just when they are thinking about something which is truly important to them?
For the love of pie, just tell me!
The thing is, they don't really mean anything by it. They're not trying to be cruel, you tell yourself, even though they just took something that really meant something to you and threw it in the gutter with a coarse laugh. They just made a few jokes, really, they just cracked a few snippy comments when you were trying to be serious. You keep telling yourself that. They didn't really mean anything by it, they were just having a bit of fun at your expense.
But it still stings like a bitch, doesn't it? And you just know this guy is going to do it again at some later point. And again, and again, every time he feels like it. And you're powerless to stop him. You're trying so hard to connect with him, trying to explain something important, and all you get is a grin, a horribly harmless comment about something to do with your personality, and sniggers all around from his pals.
Why do men do this? They seem to be getting some sort of pleasure out of seeing me hurt or angry, or preferably a combination of both. “You're so cute when you're mad, that's just because you're a girl, see what I have to live with?” And those are my close friends. Whenever I'm trying to communicate with a man, and he - for whatever reason - loses interest in the conversation, he makes it a point to offend me, just to see me angry or upset. They get a kick out of it. I don't know if it's because they can't hold their own in a serious discussion, or if they're sadists, but for whatever reason, they love seeing me hurt.
Me as in, women in general.
Please, darling Internet, explain this to me. Are they sadists? Are they afraid of women on a general basis? Do they feel better about themselves if they see someone else hurting? Do they think it'll be easier to get into my pants if they make me cry first? I am begging you, particularly the men out there, to explain this to me. I'm not joking and I'm not trying to be a bitch, I just need to understand this. I have never, not once in my life, wanted to hurt someone else for fun and I have never done it on purpose, either. What is it that is so appealing about making another individual feel worthless just when they are thinking about something which is truly important to them?
For the love of pie, just tell me!