strange dreams / visualization
The past three consecutive nights, I've had really odd/disturbing dreams:
First, I dreamed about this couple, this man and woman. They were lovers, but also sworn enemies - kind of like Aeon Flux and Trevor. I was watching a "showdown" between them in which they'd talk about what they wanted to happen to each other, and it actually would. The man said he wanted the woman to die by filling up her lungs and larynx and esophagus with mucus until she drowned from the inside. And as he was saying this, the dream actually showed her open mouth, going down into it, like she was swallowing a camera, and this white junk filling up her throat, killing her. Somehow at the same time, the woman was saying how she wanted the man to die from dismemberment. Needless to say, the whole thing was really graphic and horrifying. At the end of the dream, it showed them again. This time they were sitting in a kitchen together, eating breakfast, chatting politely - "Honey would you pass the toast?" "Sure, dear." A real Leave-it-to-Beaver kind of thing. Except that they were completely encased in this metal that gave them the shapes of humans, joined together...a giant one-piece thing that their bodies stuck out of. Conjoined robots, kind of. Then the metal shell lifted off, and I saw that all that was left of them was atoms - particles joined together by what looked like lines or sticks. Like in the "Learn to Draw..." books where it would show the framework inside the actual figure, which you hadn't drawn yet. It was all that was left. This couple had destroyed each other down to the molecular level.
Second dream (if you're still with me) I was the main character. I was in the back of a van, going somewhere with some anonymous people, when somebody shot me. I took a gunshot wound to the neck, near my collarbone. Still alive but shaky, I dragged myself over to a mirror and looked at the bullethole. Started to freak out, got my cel phone, called 911 and told them "I've been shot, I need an ambulance." But the people at 911 were like "Yeah, okay." They laughed at me, refused to take it seriously, and hung up on me. The rest of the dream I was wandering around looking for help, and no one could or would do anything about it.
Then last night, there was part of the dream where I was under a tree, in the underbrush, bushes and grass and stuff everywhere. I was kind of tangled and trying to extricate myself, trying to avoid the black widow spiders that were hanging around. There was a "zoom-in" effect to show me that they were, indeed, black widows - little hourglass on their stomach and everything. I got myself out, but not without being bitten twice by the widows, on my hand and my leg.
On a more positive note, I was laying around tonight, semi-sick, trying to sleep, when I got this kind of half-asleep vision of a crystal tortoise. It's shell shattered. Then I saw myself, covered in dead skin, with the names of ex-lovers etched all over me. Scratched into the skin where I've been hurt by exes, or where I've hurt them...boyfriends or not...everyone there was ever any pain with, their name was etched into my skin. And this skin cracked, and broke, and little by little I painstakingly peeled it off - sloughed it off my shoulderblades, pierced my fingers through it, scrubbed it out of my hair, peeled it off my legs, dug it out from between my toes. Like the VNV song - I shed my skin like a reptile. Underneath it, my skin was smooth, shining, real. I went and stood under a shower to rinse away any remains (the shower alternately looked like mine and the one at Stephan's.) Don't know where this visualization came from, but it was amazing, refreshing, and right now, emotionally, I feel better than I have in years.
On a more realistic note...school is going pretty well. I seem to be kind of sick with a less-severe version of the Death that Beth caught last week, so that kind of sucks.
I'ma go study Bio now.
First, I dreamed about this couple, this man and woman. They were lovers, but also sworn enemies - kind of like Aeon Flux and Trevor. I was watching a "showdown" between them in which they'd talk about what they wanted to happen to each other, and it actually would. The man said he wanted the woman to die by filling up her lungs and larynx and esophagus with mucus until she drowned from the inside. And as he was saying this, the dream actually showed her open mouth, going down into it, like she was swallowing a camera, and this white junk filling up her throat, killing her. Somehow at the same time, the woman was saying how she wanted the man to die from dismemberment. Needless to say, the whole thing was really graphic and horrifying. At the end of the dream, it showed them again. This time they were sitting in a kitchen together, eating breakfast, chatting politely - "Honey would you pass the toast?" "Sure, dear." A real Leave-it-to-Beaver kind of thing. Except that they were completely encased in this metal that gave them the shapes of humans, joined together...a giant one-piece thing that their bodies stuck out of. Conjoined robots, kind of. Then the metal shell lifted off, and I saw that all that was left of them was atoms - particles joined together by what looked like lines or sticks. Like in the "Learn to Draw..." books where it would show the framework inside the actual figure, which you hadn't drawn yet. It was all that was left. This couple had destroyed each other down to the molecular level.
Second dream (if you're still with me) I was the main character. I was in the back of a van, going somewhere with some anonymous people, when somebody shot me. I took a gunshot wound to the neck, near my collarbone. Still alive but shaky, I dragged myself over to a mirror and looked at the bullethole. Started to freak out, got my cel phone, called 911 and told them "I've been shot, I need an ambulance." But the people at 911 were like "Yeah, okay." They laughed at me, refused to take it seriously, and hung up on me. The rest of the dream I was wandering around looking for help, and no one could or would do anything about it.
Then last night, there was part of the dream where I was under a tree, in the underbrush, bushes and grass and stuff everywhere. I was kind of tangled and trying to extricate myself, trying to avoid the black widow spiders that were hanging around. There was a "zoom-in" effect to show me that they were, indeed, black widows - little hourglass on their stomach and everything. I got myself out, but not without being bitten twice by the widows, on my hand and my leg.
On a more positive note, I was laying around tonight, semi-sick, trying to sleep, when I got this kind of half-asleep vision of a crystal tortoise. It's shell shattered. Then I saw myself, covered in dead skin, with the names of ex-lovers etched all over me. Scratched into the skin where I've been hurt by exes, or where I've hurt them...boyfriends or not...everyone there was ever any pain with, their name was etched into my skin. And this skin cracked, and broke, and little by little I painstakingly peeled it off - sloughed it off my shoulderblades, pierced my fingers through it, scrubbed it out of my hair, peeled it off my legs, dug it out from between my toes. Like the VNV song - I shed my skin like a reptile. Underneath it, my skin was smooth, shining, real. I went and stood under a shower to rinse away any remains (the shower alternately looked like mine and the one at Stephan's.) Don't know where this visualization came from, but it was amazing, refreshing, and right now, emotionally, I feel better than I have in years.
On a more realistic note...school is going pretty well. I seem to be kind of sick with a less-severe version of the Death that Beth caught last week, so that kind of sucks.
I'ma go study Bio now.