How things change.
September 29th I made a post stating I had lost my baby at 11 weeks.
And here I am, posting today, at 28 weeks pregnant. I am pretty freaking terrified that in less than 3 months I'm gonna have a baby. I've had so many issues with this pregnancy. Incompetent Cervix; resulting with me going in to have emergency surgery for a cerclage. I literally went with my mom to do a routine sono at my High Risk specialist, and an hour later I was at the hospital. It was terrifying.
I also have high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. So many meds to take, so many different things to worry about.
It's been a wild ride.
I'm worried I won't be ready, both at home and mentally/physically/emotionally. The baby's room is painted. We're going with my parents to get the furniture next Sunday. We still need to buy diapers, some more clothes and a swing. I'm waiting for a response from Aeroflow for a breast pump.
I'm scared.
Yes, I'm excited too, but I am so terrified of the actual birth. I hate hospitals, I hate all the fuss. My spinal for my cerclage surgery was a nightmare due to a very minor issue with my spine. It hurt so bad before they finally got it to work. After a good 10 tries.
I'm scared of the initial aftermath.
But I'm also tired of being pregnant. It's such a shitty state of mind to be in. I'm scared of the birth, but I'm also beyond exhausted of all the current issues I'm dealing with. Ugh.
In 3 months or less (hopefully not), I'm gonna be a Mama.
Her name is Amelia.
~
And here I am, posting today, at 28 weeks pregnant. I am pretty freaking terrified that in less than 3 months I'm gonna have a baby. I've had so many issues with this pregnancy. Incompetent Cervix; resulting with me going in to have emergency surgery for a cerclage. I literally went with my mom to do a routine sono at my High Risk specialist, and an hour later I was at the hospital. It was terrifying.
I also have high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. So many meds to take, so many different things to worry about.
It's been a wild ride.
I'm worried I won't be ready, both at home and mentally/physically/emotionally. The baby's room is painted. We're going with my parents to get the furniture next Sunday. We still need to buy diapers, some more clothes and a swing. I'm waiting for a response from Aeroflow for a breast pump.
I'm scared.
Yes, I'm excited too, but I am so terrified of the actual birth. I hate hospitals, I hate all the fuss. My spinal for my cerclage surgery was a nightmare due to a very minor issue with my spine. It hurt so bad before they finally got it to work. After a good 10 tries.
I'm scared of the initial aftermath.
But I'm also tired of being pregnant. It's such a shitty state of mind to be in. I'm scared of the birth, but I'm also beyond exhausted of all the current issues I'm dealing with. Ugh.
In 3 months or less (hopefully not), I'm gonna be a Mama.
Her name is Amelia.
~