Pile on the depression
In addition to the bad news about the job I didn't get, I woke up very late. I called out of work today. I went to bed super late, then woke up super late, and called out. The alternative was to call a cab and spend another $25 to get to work, when I am making beans.
So, I'm home, and haunted by the fact that I have done nothing to clean out my Uncle Bobby's rooms. I started by purging the 30 voice mails on his phone. I do not have enough cigarettes for this task. It's fucking depressing. Hearing my grandmother, some of his friends, all of his medical aids leaving messages that were never retrieved is just fucking hard. He never checked his voice mail, so it is all there for me to listen to, from when he was alive. I got through about half. Next up is his room. I know I won't finish it today, but I will at least get through SOME. And then I will try on the clothes from the bag he gave me, and start sorting through a bit of his storage crap.
This sucks.
PS I am afraid that if I clean out his room, all of his smell will be gone :(
PPS I just got off the phone with my grandmother, and she made me laugh. Apparently, some lady kept calling for my uncle, and asking for his primary address. She told him which cemetery she should locate, and it cracked me right up! My sweet grandmother, who would NEVER say an unkind word, and it made me laugh for the first time today. Thanks, Mommom! Anyway. I am in better spirits now and am putting on some upbeat, cheerful dance music. I think it would make him happy.
So, I'm home, and haunted by the fact that I have done nothing to clean out my Uncle Bobby's rooms. I started by purging the 30 voice mails on his phone. I do not have enough cigarettes for this task. It's fucking depressing. Hearing my grandmother, some of his friends, all of his medical aids leaving messages that were never retrieved is just fucking hard. He never checked his voice mail, so it is all there for me to listen to, from when he was alive. I got through about half. Next up is his room. I know I won't finish it today, but I will at least get through SOME. And then I will try on the clothes from the bag he gave me, and start sorting through a bit of his storage crap.
This sucks.
PS I am afraid that if I clean out his room, all of his smell will be gone :(
PPS I just got off the phone with my grandmother, and she made me laugh. Apparently, some lady kept calling for my uncle, and asking for his primary address. She told him which cemetery she should locate, and it cracked me right up! My sweet grandmother, who would NEVER say an unkind word, and it made me laugh for the first time today. Thanks, Mommom! Anyway. I am in better spirits now and am putting on some upbeat, cheerful dance music. I think it would make him happy.