Anger
I was at my pregnancy loss support group last night and something struck me watching one of the participants. She had just had a D and E on Friday and was expected to work today after a 14 week loss.
She was ANGRY. Angry at her work, angry at her body, angry at pretty much everything. I wondered, gosh, was I that angry too? I think I may have been after my first loss. It just hits you out of the blue with no expectations of loss or anything. Nurses and docs never tell you this could happen. With the second one I was sad, but not so angry for as long.
I watched her and prayed that she can move through the wheel of grief so her heart could heal. I tried to reach out to her and she cut me off quick and angrily. I did my best, but she has to be willing to take the help.
This was the last support group I will be going to. I have gone for 5 years on and off and am the only person who hasn't achieved a healthy pregnancy. Sad, but it is my reality.
I look back at what I have achieved over these 5 years. Empathy for people who are or were in my situation, and I hope I have become some sort of support for anyone who needs me.
The counselor that was there last night ended up being my neighbor and I didn't even really put two and two together until she said something. Guess I was in my own little world.
On a not so positve note, my ankle hasn't healed like they thought it would, so I have to go back in a few weeks to see if it has gotten better. I hope this doesn't nag on me for the rest of my days...............
She was ANGRY. Angry at her work, angry at her body, angry at pretty much everything. I wondered, gosh, was I that angry too? I think I may have been after my first loss. It just hits you out of the blue with no expectations of loss or anything. Nurses and docs never tell you this could happen. With the second one I was sad, but not so angry for as long.
I watched her and prayed that she can move through the wheel of grief so her heart could heal. I tried to reach out to her and she cut me off quick and angrily. I did my best, but she has to be willing to take the help.
This was the last support group I will be going to. I have gone for 5 years on and off and am the only person who hasn't achieved a healthy pregnancy. Sad, but it is my reality.
I look back at what I have achieved over these 5 years. Empathy for people who are or were in my situation, and I hope I have become some sort of support for anyone who needs me.
The counselor that was there last night ended up being my neighbor and I didn't even really put two and two together until she said something. Guess I was in my own little world.
On a not so positve note, my ankle hasn't healed like they thought it would, so I have to go back in a few weeks to see if it has gotten better. I hope this doesn't nag on me for the rest of my days...............