(no subject)
My life has just gone from really great to really shitty in the past few days. I'm so broke I can't even handle it anymore. I still have to break my contract with my shitty sprint phone which is $150 dollars on top of the $250 cell phone bill i gotta pay...oh and i have my verizon phone too. I have a credit card that I was a week late paying and they charged me a $91 late fee...took care of that but i still owe like 100 more dollars on it...I still haveta pay off my express credit card..but my victorias secret credit card is finally payed off! Let's see what else do i haveta pay for? Oh yea my $200 car payment and my $173 car insurance payment this month. And to top it all off... my mom wants me to move out! She says she's sick of all my shit which is supposedly not doing anything around the house and not having any respect for my family. That whole thing started when Matt took me out to dinner the other night and my mom started asking me why I'm never home for and shit. Hmm well maybe b/c i work 35 hours a week and i go to school full time and I want at least some time for my friends and my boyfriend. Speaking of him that reminds me I owe him $100 cuz he started giving me money to hold on for him so he wouldn't spend it but of course i spent it like an asshole...but that problem should be taken care of soon cuz I took him to set up a bank account a few days ago so he can just put his money in there. And 1 more thing I can think of that i need to buy is new glasses which will cost me $200 b/c mine somehow disappeared when i was at my aunts house last week. So my mom said some really hurtful things to me yesterday...i don't even wanna write about them...I was just really upset..and i still am.
I got a job offer last night that would have solved all of this financial shit but i had to choose between my relationship with matt and this job. So yea this new job woulda been a shot girl at utopia...i woulda been making like $8-$10 an hr off the books plus tips. I was really excited about it. Kristen got me the job b/c she just got a job there collecting money at the door and i told matt all excited and everything and he flipped out on me. He said that was a whore job and he didn't want his girlfriend having guys all over her all night. I understand him, but I still don't know if I made the right choice by listening to him. Yea now that i think about it, what if I didn't like the job and i would haveta work 10pm-4am on both friday and saturday nights so my weekends would be shot but the whole point is that he controlled me last night. I really love him alot so of course i would choose him but for some reason I have all this anger inside of me and i just wanna scream at him. How is he just gonna sit there and make me feel like that. Here I am just trying to make some money cuz i don't know what else I'm gonna do and he can't even support me b/c he's too much of a jealous person. I don't know if i made the right choice. But yea now he's saying he'll give me all his money to help me pay off these bills and to get an apartment if i just don't take the job... but i don't want his money. I wanna do this on my own.
Aghh I'm so fucked...
I wish I knew what the right thing to do was...
I can't even write anymore
I got a job offer last night that would have solved all of this financial shit but i had to choose between my relationship with matt and this job. So yea this new job woulda been a shot girl at utopia...i woulda been making like $8-$10 an hr off the books plus tips. I was really excited about it. Kristen got me the job b/c she just got a job there collecting money at the door and i told matt all excited and everything and he flipped out on me. He said that was a whore job and he didn't want his girlfriend having guys all over her all night. I understand him, but I still don't know if I made the right choice by listening to him. Yea now that i think about it, what if I didn't like the job and i would haveta work 10pm-4am on both friday and saturday nights so my weekends would be shot but the whole point is that he controlled me last night. I really love him alot so of course i would choose him but for some reason I have all this anger inside of me and i just wanna scream at him. How is he just gonna sit there and make me feel like that. Here I am just trying to make some money cuz i don't know what else I'm gonna do and he can't even support me b/c he's too much of a jealous person. I don't know if i made the right choice. But yea now he's saying he'll give me all his money to help me pay off these bills and to get an apartment if i just don't take the job... but i don't want his money. I wanna do this on my own.
Aghh I'm so fucked...
I wish I knew what the right thing to do was...
I can't even write anymore