things that are awesome
Things Everyone Needs in Their Life:
1. Mark Reads Harry Potter (click 'Prev Post' to go to next chapter)
Amazingness was never as amazing before this. Most things on this list are on it for their hilariousness, but this one is purely for it's awesomeness. He'd never read Harry Potter before, and I can't explain how cool it was to read his reviews of every chapter (yes, every chapter - of every book) and read how excited he got by this world. I think I'm going to go re-read them after I finish writing this...
And then, the best thing ever ever EVER.
"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.
Oh. Oh no. Ohhhhhh no.
But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER--" he thundered, "--INSULT--ALBUS--DUMBLEDORE--IN--FRONT--OF--ME!"
OMG
He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley--there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.how have i never read this before what is wrong with me
"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter tern him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."Just tell me where I need to be and I am all yours, Hagrid.
2. A Very Potter Musical / A Very Potter Sequel
What is there to say besides that it's TOTALLY AWESOME. So go watch it and come back to understand the following: Redvines! FIND! ♬♪ to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and those magical feasts ♪♫ You never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot. Hermione can't draw! Rumbleroar. It's on Mars! I'm tired, can't we just be Death Eaters?! TOTALLY AWESOME.
3. Alex Reads Twilight
Completely self explanatory.
4. Reasoning with Vampires
She goes page by page of all the Twilight books and shows you why/how it's horribly written. And it's hilarious.
5. Blogging Twilight
Yes, I'm obsessed with things that make fun of Twilight. I can't help it, they are all amazing and hilarious! Anyhoo, this one. THIS ONE. GAH SO GOOD. Another 'Chapter by Chapter' of all four books, and there are some truly amazing tidbits in this one. Honestly, I don't want to give away any of the hilariousness, but I will say it'll have you flexing your calves and calling people Optimus Beyoncé in no time :)
HAMLET: O' sweet orbs of juice that beckon my heart like whispers of tempt. Mine skin doth itch when inside me you dwell. Away, take these devil's eyes!
ROSENCRANTZ: Dude. Eat a banana instead.
HAMLET: Yours is the tongue of fools!
6. All of these videos
7. All of these fics
1. Mark Reads Harry Potter (click 'Prev Post' to go to next chapter)
Amazingness was never as amazing before this. Most things on this list are on it for their hilariousness, but this one is purely for it's awesomeness. He'd never read Harry Potter before, and I can't explain how cool it was to read his reviews of every chapter (yes, every chapter - of every book) and read how excited he got by this world. I think I'm going to go re-read them after I finish writing this...
And then, the best thing ever ever EVER.
"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon.
Oh. Oh no. Ohhhhhh no.
But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER--" he thundered, "--INSULT--ALBUS--DUMBLEDORE--IN--FRONT--OF--ME!"
OMG
He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley--there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.how have i never read this before what is wrong with me
"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter tern him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."Just tell me where I need to be and I am all yours, Hagrid.
2. A Very Potter Musical / A Very Potter Sequel
What is there to say besides that it's TOTALLY AWESOME. So go watch it and come back to understand the following: Redvines! FIND! ♬♪ to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and those magical feasts ♪♫ You never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot. Hermione can't draw! Rumbleroar. It's on Mars! I'm tired, can't we just be Death Eaters?! TOTALLY AWESOME.
3. Alex Reads Twilight
Completely self explanatory.
4. Reasoning with Vampires
She goes page by page of all the Twilight books and shows you why/how it's horribly written. And it's hilarious.
5. Blogging Twilight
Yes, I'm obsessed with things that make fun of Twilight. I can't help it, they are all amazing and hilarious! Anyhoo, this one. THIS ONE. GAH SO GOOD. Another 'Chapter by Chapter' of all four books, and there are some truly amazing tidbits in this one. Honestly, I don't want to give away any of the hilariousness, but I will say it'll have you flexing your calves and calling people Optimus Beyoncé in no time :)
- At school, she keeps an eye out for Edward, who's absent for a few days. (Bladder infection? Kidney disease? Vamp diarrhea? It's not explained, but one can only guess what a strictly liquid diet does to the digestive tract.).
- Bella's upset because Jacob didn't call her. And now she's at home, all alone. Or, as she puts it, "I was lonely, worried, bored…perforated." Perforated? So that sentence could also read, "I was lonely, worried, bored…lined with holes to allow for easy tearing." Makes sense.
- This series of books is all about making problems where none exist. Had Stephenie Meyer written Hamlet, the story wouldn't be about Hammie's dead daddy, but instead about some inexplicable dilemma involving Hamlet's desire to eat cherries despite the fact that he's allergic to cherries.
HAMLET: O' sweet orbs of juice that beckon my heart like whispers of tempt. Mine skin doth itch when inside me you dwell. Away, take these devil's eyes!
ROSENCRANTZ: Dude. Eat a banana instead.
HAMLET: Yours is the tongue of fools!
6. All of these videos
- Jeff/Britta, "500 Days of Summer" Fake Trailer - I do not ship them whatsoever. Like, negative ship them. But this video is AWESOME and is easily the best fake trailer I've ever seen.
- Eric (True Blood), Hurt - This is such a beautiful video. Just...yeah.
- Damon/Elena (TVD), Calls Me Home - This showed up in my subscription box today, and it's BEAUTIFUL. And it includes finale clips, so it's doubley awesome.
- Mini (Skins), The Fear - I had a really (really) hard time choosing which one of 'dazzleme7's vids I wanted to put her, because she is my favorite vidder and I love them all. So really, go watch them all. :)
- Buffy (BtVS), Krwlng - This video gives me major goosebumps. Best BtVS video out there, in my opinion.
- Gossip Girl Ensemble, Don't Panic - I don't watch this show anymore, but this vid brings back memories of when I was in love with it...and when it was actually a good show.
- Eric/Sookie (True Blood), I Can't Hide - I've been watching a billion vids of these two lately b/c I am SO EXCITED for Season Four. This one is super good.
- Jackie/Hyde (That 70's Show), Comes and Goes - There are SO few vids for this show and pairing, but even if there were thousands this one would still stand out.
- Kate/Sawyer (Lost), It's About the Journey - Sad forever.
7. All of these fics
- Joey/Pacey (Dawson's Creek), Reality Check - First off, Dawson's Creek was not a good show. You might have enjoyed it (Read: I enjoyed it), and you might have cried at the finale (Read: I totally cried), but it was not a good show (Read: Seriously). This, however, is a great fic. It's a future fic, though AU as Dawson moved away and lost touch with everyone. It's just...really good.
- Amy/Eleven (Doctor Who), jump - saywheeeee (the author) is my favorite Amy/Eleven writer, because she says so much by saying so little. I love super long, epic fics that take me all night to read, but she makes me love tiny fics, and that is really hard to do.
- Puck/Quinn (Glee), Cheated Hearts - These two were by far my favorite ship last season, but then the stupid writers dropped them like a hot potato. This makes that all better. (Also, when I said I like super long, epic fics, this is exactly what I was talking about.)
- Chuck/Blair (Gossip Girl), The Unbearable Lightness of Being Chuck and Blair - This fic...SO GOOD. The show may have ruined them, but this more than makes up for it. Basically, this is what should have happened. OH, and it's so good that it makes Vanessa a good character. YEAH. Also it has a sequel. WOOT.
- Harry/Ginny (Harry Potter), Backwards With Purpose - SUPER EPIC AND AWESOME AND AMAZING.
- Hermione/Draco (Harry Potter), The God of the Lost - I honestly don't even know where to start. Probably first: How have I not come across this story before! I've been reading fanfiction for about seven years, and Hermione/Draco was what got me into it in the first place - and yet for some reason I hadn't come across it till today through a recommendation on Crack_Broom on LJ. And boy am I happy I found it.
Honestly, even when I saw the recommendation, when I clicked on it and saw that it was an unfinished story that hadn't been update in five years, I wasn't even going to bother. I get soo into stories, that it's like torture to start reading an amazing fic and then come to see that it has no ending and has been effectively abandoned. But then I saw this: "Reviews: 3,305".
Let me just say that people are lazy, so when a story has 300 reviews I'm compelled to read - but over 3,000! Basically, I had no choice but to find out what all the fuss was about. And how glad I am that I did.
This was FANTASTIC. Like rendered speechless fantastic. So amazing that in Chapter 13 when Hermione and Draco start seeing the animated evil unicorn skin, and are being chased by field piranhas, and almost drown in the smelling lake filled with evil frog like creatures saying that mystery phrase, and then are chased into flesh eating trees by some kind of dragon, and THEN find themselves in a place with no recognizable constellations - I wanted to review just to say : OH MY HOW AMAZING IS THIS! But I was so into the story that I only remembered I wanted to do that three chapters later, and by then I figured I might as well wait till then end to praise you properly.
Okay, so now onto the actual story review. Quite obviously you are a wonderful writer in the most superficial sense, but beyond that you excel as well. Everyone knows that the most important part of a story, no matter the genre, is the characters - and yours (though not technically yours) are perfection. After reading Draco/Hermione fanfiction for the past seven years, I often forget what a complete cowardly bastard Draco is in the actual books. So many stories containing Draco, no matter how much I enjoyed them, paint him as a LOT nicer and more sympathetic than he is in the books. I can't tell you how refreshing it was to read a characterization of Draco that wasn't skewed towards moralism.
And under that note, though Draco is a horrible person, you somehow wrote the characters so well that at one point while they're fighting (I think the fight they have after their encounter with the wolf pack) I thought to myself "How is it possible that I'm somehow on both their sides". Clearly in the books, and in real life, we're all meant to side with Hermione - but the wonderful thing that you've done is subtly and believably change these two characters so that I honestly don't know who's 'right' anymore.
On the mythical side of the story, I couldn't be more intrigued by what you set up. I'm SO curious as to how they got to this place, where exactly they are, and what in the world "Re'loiuth Eedai Mevnox" means (so much so that I took a ten minute break in the middle of a chapter to use Google Translator to try and figure out what language it was - but to no end).
I really could go on and on about how wonderful this is, but instead I'll say: PLEASE, don't leave this unfinished forever. Obviously, TONS of people have read this and want to see what happens - and five years later people are still reading and reviewing. I really REALLY hope that you find inspiration to finish this, so until then I'll say 'Thank you', and hope to be reviewing Chapter 20 soon!