The Ant and The Grasshopper
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool,and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The shivering
grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END.
THE UK VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool,and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know Why
the ant should be allowed to be
warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him are cold and
starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home
in Hampstead with a table laden with food. The British are stunned that in
a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so
while others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, TVP, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the Coalition
Against Hard Work demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The BBC,
interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from Grimsby with
breaking news,broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has Got
rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on
the ant to make him pay his "fair share". In response, the Labour
Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination
Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to Hire
grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly
imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council.
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBi company [funded by
the EU] (although within weeks, his business is threatened with Compulsory
purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of The
ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government House
he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him
because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. Inadequate government funding is
blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will
cost £10,000,000 and make her a Dame.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it on
the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair
arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a Gang
of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britain's
multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a heroin/prostitution
operation and terrorize the community.
THE END.
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool,and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The shivering
grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END.
THE UK VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool,and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know Why
the ant should be allowed to be
warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him are cold and
starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home
in Hampstead with a table laden with food. The British are stunned that in
a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so
while others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, TVP, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the Coalition
Against Hard Work demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The BBC,
interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from Grimsby with
breaking news,broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has Got
rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on
the ant to make him pay his "fair share". In response, the Labour
Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination
Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to Hire
grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly
imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council.
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBi company [funded by
the EU] (although within weeks, his business is threatened with Compulsory
purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of The
ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government House
he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him
because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. Inadequate government funding is
blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will
cost £10,000,000 and make her a Dame.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it on
the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair
arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a Gang
of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britain's
multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a heroin/prostitution
operation and terrorize the community.
THE END.