The only thing that matters is the ending. It's the most important part of the story.

Mar 24, 2006 16:19

Very slow day. Nothing exciting has been going on but ya know not every day can be as fun as the one before it. :)

I drove home from Kent yesterday afternoon to visit with Maria and Christina for a little while. Mostly because Maria has been dealing with some rough shit and I just needed to be there for her and be her best friend..like I used to do all the time for her. She did say something that kind of stung last night though. I forget what we were talking about but she was like "it doesn't matter Nicci, you're never around anymore anyways". It made me a little upset and feel like shit but ya know, I moved to start my life and enjoy college. I needed to get out of Cortland. Granted I miss my friends and my family all the time I never meant to just not be around here for them. Maybe I should start coming home more often. I dunno what she expects me to do right now. It's not like I intentionally meant for her to feel that way but I am doing something with my life and moving forward with what I want. I can't stay here in Cortland. I just can't. I enjoy the days I do come home though. I make time for people and I try and plan things with my friends but if they are busy then you know I'm not going to stay over night to hang out for a few hours and then drive back up to Kent. But the thing that really annoys me is that I told her ya know I'm on Spring Break this week why don't you come up to Kent and me you and Shannon and Christina can all go out. Her response for that was that it's too far. So here is where I get pissed off. It's not too far for me to drive from Kent to Cortland and then meet her wherever she wants to meet up at to hang out but she can't drive up to Kent because it is too far. I have always talked so highly of Maria to people because she has been my best friend since we were in pre-school but the fact that she won't drive 45 minutes to Kent to hang out but would drive out to Jonh's house which is a good half an hour out in the boonies but that extra 15 minutes is too far. What the fck?!@

I went over Christina's last night to hang out with Maria and her and got the cutest pictures of her son Brian. He is the most adorable little boy. We ended up watching Dirty Love, which they both ended up laughing about for the most part. WE originally started watching Mulholland Dr and because Maria wasnt in the mood for that type of movie we turned it off. I left there around 2 in the morning and talked to Zesty all the way home and then basically until 3 in morning.

Zesty has been out of the state since wednesday and yea I miss him but I'm glad he got to go and do what he did. I guess the presentation he did went very well and he is proud of himself. I am incredibly proud of him considering he was one of the only students (i think) presenting by himself. Bravo to that one. He come's home tonight though which I am excited for but ya know I dunno what's going on yet or what time he will be home. Blah. I just want to see him for a little bit. I dunno I guess I am just being over emotional. Who knows.

As for the rest of my evening, I am going to an NA meeting to visit with some old friends of mine and to let them know that I am a month shy of being clean for 2 years (from cocaine). I want them to know how well I have been excelling in my life and where I am at, since it has been about a year since any of them have seen me. I think the last time they saw me was right after Scottie left for Iraq and that was last February. So I felt like it was a good idea for me to come home and say hey I'm doing wonderfully. I have great friends and family etc.

I am kind of down today because I didn't get the Research Assistant position that I wanted to work on with one of the professors on campus. She emailed me today letting me know that the two positions have been filled. That really bums me out but ya know I spoke with her a few times via email and she knows who I am and that I am interested in doing stuff like that so who knows maybe I will get involved with something like that some other time. As long as I keep my eye out for positions like that and check the bullitins in the Psych buildings I am sure I will eventually get some kind of experience in the field. So yea that kind of bums me out but I still have the opportunity to volunteer at the Crisis Pervention Hotline on campus which is another thing I am thinking about doing. Plus I would get trained and everything. It will look good on a resume and just kind of something I wouldn't mind doing. I would enjoy the feeling of helping other people. I always have and I am still going to enjoy doing it.

I did get to spend some time with my sister and my mom. Mom and I went out to eat at the Lake Tavern for wings and such. It was good times. We talked and just discussed how much things have changed over the past 2 years with me. It is unreal how much has changed. I went from being a drug addict to being succesful in life in general. I have a steady job. I am doing OK in school. I have great friends. And good relationships with people. I am for once happy with my life. So yea dinner was good last night. I tend to have a blast when I am with my family.

Welp, I think this entry is long enough. I will update later.
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