Fuck Me Continues
I thought I did well on the interview. I know I passed the tests I took, the people seemed to think things looked favorable....so I sat like an idiot with my phone today....waiting, hoping....sent an email to them thanking them for the opportunity to interview and suddenly 'pop' there's a message thanks but no thanks. I'm at the end of my rope dear God...
I'm short of patience, short of self esteem...wonder how much lower a person can go before we finally take that last step in front of a moving train, or off a bridge. I really thought this would work...it would be something that challenged my mind while also giving me a career, saving on travel and gas by carpooling with Dee....and again..this close and bang.
I heard that when you close a door you open a window...but so far everything is shut in my face and I don't know what to do about it anymore...
I'm lost Dear God....soooo lost and I can't seem to find my way back...and I'm tired of the travel. Forgive me for the thoughts in my head but I honestly believe that I'd cost a hell of a lot less to people dead right now...yup, bamo....one last expense and it'd all be over...
I guess even you are tired of me cause even St. Anthony can't find what was lost....I just picture all of your saints sitting there with fingers in ears saying NOT HER AGAIN....
When I read about people who died in the news..I think...I'd like to be that person....I'm just hoping I have to guts to make my 'wish' come true...
Signed
Worthless and even more.
I'm short of patience, short of self esteem...wonder how much lower a person can go before we finally take that last step in front of a moving train, or off a bridge. I really thought this would work...it would be something that challenged my mind while also giving me a career, saving on travel and gas by carpooling with Dee....and again..this close and bang.
I heard that when you close a door you open a window...but so far everything is shut in my face and I don't know what to do about it anymore...
I'm lost Dear God....soooo lost and I can't seem to find my way back...and I'm tired of the travel. Forgive me for the thoughts in my head but I honestly believe that I'd cost a hell of a lot less to people dead right now...yup, bamo....one last expense and it'd all be over...
I guess even you are tired of me cause even St. Anthony can't find what was lost....I just picture all of your saints sitting there with fingers in ears saying NOT HER AGAIN....
When I read about people who died in the news..I think...I'd like to be that person....I'm just hoping I have to guts to make my 'wish' come true...
Signed
Worthless and even more.