Everything Changes
Its crazy, all I can think about is how much everything has changed. People have changed. I have changed. Since I have left high school nothing is the same. I look at people differently and sometimes question why I put up with things that they did. How they wanted to stand out so much in school but now looking back on it they looked stupid. How when you see someone from High school that you never really talked to and they talk to you like you two were best friends. In high school everyone wanted to be the center of attention. That still hasn't changed I still see it in people. I just put my head down and think to myself how will they ever make it in life. I think I have closed most of my doors from high school. I am not sad about it. Some people are still living in high school. needing to be the center of attention. Stating that they don't need drama when they themselves bring it. Stating they don't like lairs when they are not being true to themselves. I look back to who I use to like and ask myself why did I like that guy? Now I feel only friend feelings or no feelings for that guy at all. Then I become happy that things just didn't work out.
I'll be 20 soon. Its exciting I guess. No longer a teenager but not titled as an adult. This summer my life will change so much. I pray that when I make the decision to leave it is a smart one and I hope that people trust me and not say stupid things. I know that not leaving will only make it harder to get along. My parents raised a girl to fight back and stand up for what she wants. I think they forgot that I will even stand up to them. Life the past few months has been hard here. I never really come home except to sleep or I stay upstairs so that I will at least not make them mad. Sometimes that doesn't work. I guess I am just tired of coming home wondering if I am getting into trouble. I shouldn't be scared. I know it but I am. This part of my entry doesn't make sense to most people, i am sure. Lifes been hard, its not getting easier. I wish it would. I wish I wouldn't have to worry about little things but they come back as bigger problems. They always do.
I should go to bed. I need sleep. I am always tired.
Night
~*Nic*~
+On a happy note Mike and I have been together for over 13 months and I am still very much in love with him.
I'll be 20 soon. Its exciting I guess. No longer a teenager but not titled as an adult. This summer my life will change so much. I pray that when I make the decision to leave it is a smart one and I hope that people trust me and not say stupid things. I know that not leaving will only make it harder to get along. My parents raised a girl to fight back and stand up for what she wants. I think they forgot that I will even stand up to them. Life the past few months has been hard here. I never really come home except to sleep or I stay upstairs so that I will at least not make them mad. Sometimes that doesn't work. I guess I am just tired of coming home wondering if I am getting into trouble. I shouldn't be scared. I know it but I am. This part of my entry doesn't make sense to most people, i am sure. Lifes been hard, its not getting easier. I wish it would. I wish I wouldn't have to worry about little things but they come back as bigger problems. They always do.
I should go to bed. I need sleep. I am always tired.
Night
~*Nic*~
+On a happy note Mike and I have been together for over 13 months and I am still very much in love with him.