deep thoughts
So hey, whats going...on hmmmm...alot . Umm lets see, Iv been better... iv mainly been focusing on getting my health back. Iv tackled a bedtime routine, in which I wash my face and brush my teeth, and put on facial care products and clean my fresh pearcings. I can be a routine oriented perosn sometimes, but this is the first step towards me taking care of myself better, I made a morning routine too. Iv also incorporated getting ALL of my homework done, third, I have started and will get better at eating at the right times and a little bit healthier. And lastly Im going to begin SLEEPING! imagine that! ::gasp:: The reason I say thease things is becouse for a while their Bob (and our realationship) became my only concern...even over myself which is not good, at least I realize that now. I spent my time coming home, worring about me and bob ,calling bob, then felling really worried, and then going to bed without washing up (ugh!)OR DOING ANY HOME WORK! ( grades didnt drop...but they could be higher). Not to mention that during the day I would think about me and bob and not eat cuz id forget, or I would eat somthing like poptarts for lunch(ugh!) cuz I was too distracted to pack one( a lunch) the night before. Lastly when I did go to sleep I couldnt sleep...cuz my mind was still racing about the realation ship and what I could do to save it , or how I could be a better girlfriend and so on and so on.
I completely tossed myslef aside...I jsut realized recently that this was the worst thing that I could have evr done to myself. I also just realized that it shouldnt take a man to make me love myself or feel better about my self. Only I can do that. I have to love and accept my self for who I am before I can do it to another. I have to be content with the fact that I tryed the best I could,and I did everything that I could, to help the realtionship. And thats all that I can do. I cant make anyone do anything, I couldnt make bob do anything, I could only controle what I contributed to the realationship.
so youd ask me what Iv been up too and ill say just taking care of myself ...it may sound silly but its the truth.
For a while...Im going to just focus loving myself and taking care of myself...I deserv it and its healthy. For right now ...for one in my fucking busy as hell life...I come first.
short version of veronicas life lately
*Burts Bees Facial care products(omg my skin os so clear)
*dance partys with friends and myslef( it makes me feel sooo good and happy)
*Beck(hes makes me feel soo happy with his far out crazy funky music)
woa what an update hahaha
***this was in no way a bob bashing jouranl...the kid is great...im just talking about me and what im doing in my life right and now and the recovery process after the break up...I do not bash people...I do nat belive in that I tink its a watse of energy***
I completely tossed myslef aside...I jsut realized recently that this was the worst thing that I could have evr done to myself. I also just realized that it shouldnt take a man to make me love myself or feel better about my self. Only I can do that. I have to love and accept my self for who I am before I can do it to another. I have to be content with the fact that I tryed the best I could,and I did everything that I could, to help the realtionship. And thats all that I can do. I cant make anyone do anything, I couldnt make bob do anything, I could only controle what I contributed to the realationship.
so youd ask me what Iv been up too and ill say just taking care of myself ...it may sound silly but its the truth.
For a while...Im going to just focus loving myself and taking care of myself...I deserv it and its healthy. For right now ...for one in my fucking busy as hell life...I come first.
short version of veronicas life lately
*Burts Bees Facial care products(omg my skin os so clear)
*dance partys with friends and myslef( it makes me feel sooo good and happy)
*Beck(hes makes me feel soo happy with his far out crazy funky music)
woa what an update hahaha
***this was in no way a bob bashing jouranl...the kid is great...im just talking about me and what im doing in my life right and now and the recovery process after the break up...I do not bash people...I do nat belive in that I tink its a watse of energy***