Starting Over...
it is definitely not that I forgot about this Journal I have just had so much going on. For one I am out of the home I was sharing with my mother and boyfriend ( if you read my last Entry I said I found out about a month ago yesturday they had been having an affair for a year and a half since my father died.)
Awhile after them confessing so to speak I started talking to this Ex boyfriend of mine Jeff. I actually dated him while I was pregnant with my daughter. Anyway.. I fell so hard for him 4 years ago not even funny.. but I didnt feel it was right for him to step into a relationship where at some point hed be assuming position of daddy and boyfriend. So I never told him I how I really felt. Shortly after I gave birth he emailed me and asked to come see me and the baby and I ignored the email. I knew if I saw him I would undoubtedly have all these feelings hit me again and I was already a nice post partum mess.
During our conversations I guess we both got to the point where we where like hell its been four years weve both been through alot of shit how about we spill it... he went first he did love me then he just thought I wasnt into it my token line at that time was Im not looking for a husband or daddy. So he thought I wasnt interested .
Theres alot more to it than that ofcourse but we decided to try it. and its been two weeks.
It feels like years though. maybe because we have known each other for so long. There is very little we dont know about the other.
Sometimes we just look at each other and we are thinking the same thing.
Its strange to be in a relationship with someone who does'nt yell he talks WE talk.
I was worried about Adrianna but she has adapted as if this is and has always been her home. and she adores him.
When I had her and I was going through Post Partum my OB told me that a child picks up on thier mothers emotions they feed off them and if mom is miserable the child will be too. So I dont know I guess it could be that I am happy and I dont think Adrianna has seen mommy truly happy in years now so thats something new to her.
We live together we have a home I now have two hyper active dogs as well. He works at a State Prison same place my dad worked so my fears are there justified but I more than respect him for what he does cannot imagine how he does it and support him 100%.
So thats why I havent been around.
New home.
New relationship.
its been busy to say the least.
But Im here and will start to try and catch up.