So many tears
Well I lost all respect for my daycare today and gained even more for my EI Frank.
I got into work and told the assistant supervisor (told the supervisor last night) that when Nicky came in I wanted to talk to her.
Nicky came and went and didn't come talk to me or even come see if Kelly or I were all right. (I have no idea if my message was relayed either, but still a child died from her daycare she should check on her staff one would think)
Frank was in observing a child in the Butterfly room overhears Dawn tell me when the visitation and funeral is and questions Dawn further while I was engaged with the children in the room.
Frank eventually comes upstairs to our room. I have Kelly relay to Frank what Debbie said to me because I had a child who wouldn't let me get an arms length away from him without him yelling for me, grabbing me or following me today). He was appalled. Not just because we had nothing for the kids, but that they hadn't even done a thing for us as the staff. He left for Debbie's office and didn't return for 2 hours. When he returned he informed us that they would be getting us the support we needed.
Now overall the morning was very quiet. The children mentioned it but didn't really press the issue to talk about it.
This afternoon was hard. I had a brief conversation about Brody's accident and then we tidy up, we watered the plants. As we watered them we were checking to see who was who's. We came to Brody's and D said we would have to find someone to take care of it because he died.
We went and sat down for stickers (as they had done an awesome job tidying and working together this afternoon) and the conversation continued.
We talked about the accident. They asked me if the person driving the car was a bad person. They asked me why the doctors couldn't fix him. They asked me why he wasn't coming back. They asked me why couldn't the doctors fix his legs ect and I had to explain that he had hit his head and sometimes doctors just can't fix our heads. We talked about how we felt and that we missed him.
I ended up crying. The kids were floored.
All 5 of them got up and gave me a hug. D and A took my glasses of and put them on the table and wiped my eyes dry for me. We sat in a group hug for about 5 minutes.
I need to buy more stickers because after that I let them pick as many as they wanted. We also found Brody's sticker book and they decided we should keep it safe for his mom because she would like it.
That was my afternoon.
I went to the visitation tonight with my coworkers Tara and Dawn. I am glad I went tonight. Tomorrow it was open casket. I had a hard enough time dealing with how small the thing was without actually seeing him in it. It kinda brought a finality to it, that it was really real. I can't go to the funeral. It's on Saturday and I would have to miss seeing Jen and her show.
I know that the funeral is going to have a HUGE attendance and its just to tight a time line if I go and then head to collingwood. I will still send a card to his family.
Tomorrow we have the grief counsellors coming in at 10 am and Frank is one of the people going to be there. I think it's good that he will be there as the children already know him and trust him. He's also the one who's been coming and teaching them empathy for the past 6 weeks.
Now I am just going to veg.
Thank you all for the hugs and thoughts.
You are wonderful.
I got into work and told the assistant supervisor (told the supervisor last night) that when Nicky came in I wanted to talk to her.
Nicky came and went and didn't come talk to me or even come see if Kelly or I were all right. (I have no idea if my message was relayed either, but still a child died from her daycare she should check on her staff one would think)
Frank was in observing a child in the Butterfly room overhears Dawn tell me when the visitation and funeral is and questions Dawn further while I was engaged with the children in the room.
Frank eventually comes upstairs to our room. I have Kelly relay to Frank what Debbie said to me because I had a child who wouldn't let me get an arms length away from him without him yelling for me, grabbing me or following me today). He was appalled. Not just because we had nothing for the kids, but that they hadn't even done a thing for us as the staff. He left for Debbie's office and didn't return for 2 hours. When he returned he informed us that they would be getting us the support we needed.
Now overall the morning was very quiet. The children mentioned it but didn't really press the issue to talk about it.
This afternoon was hard. I had a brief conversation about Brody's accident and then we tidy up, we watered the plants. As we watered them we were checking to see who was who's. We came to Brody's and D said we would have to find someone to take care of it because he died.
We went and sat down for stickers (as they had done an awesome job tidying and working together this afternoon) and the conversation continued.
We talked about the accident. They asked me if the person driving the car was a bad person. They asked me why the doctors couldn't fix him. They asked me why he wasn't coming back. They asked me why couldn't the doctors fix his legs ect and I had to explain that he had hit his head and sometimes doctors just can't fix our heads. We talked about how we felt and that we missed him.
I ended up crying. The kids were floored.
All 5 of them got up and gave me a hug. D and A took my glasses of and put them on the table and wiped my eyes dry for me. We sat in a group hug for about 5 minutes.
I need to buy more stickers because after that I let them pick as many as they wanted. We also found Brody's sticker book and they decided we should keep it safe for his mom because she would like it.
That was my afternoon.
I went to the visitation tonight with my coworkers Tara and Dawn. I am glad I went tonight. Tomorrow it was open casket. I had a hard enough time dealing with how small the thing was without actually seeing him in it. It kinda brought a finality to it, that it was really real. I can't go to the funeral. It's on Saturday and I would have to miss seeing Jen and her show.
I know that the funeral is going to have a HUGE attendance and its just to tight a time line if I go and then head to collingwood. I will still send a card to his family.
Tomorrow we have the grief counsellors coming in at 10 am and Frank is one of the people going to be there. I think it's good that he will be there as the children already know him and trust him. He's also the one who's been coming and teaching them empathy for the past 6 weeks.
Now I am just going to veg.
Thank you all for the hugs and thoughts.
You are wonderful.