When is work to much?
so before reading the rest of this, take note: I think this entry turned from me reflecting on my life, to apologizing for it. But just bear with me on this one, I'm trying to find myself.
So, as the subject says:
I've noticed a trend developing. My work is very much my life. Not only that, but I've become a workaholic. But I don't necessarily see that as a negative thing. Even though many of you might think differently.
I'm building a career. I'm building my future. If my days right now are any indication of what my future days will be like, I will gladly embrace it.
Yesterday I worked roughly a 10 hour day. I than came home, worked on schoolwork for about an hour and half, than I worked on a project for work, from home for another 3 hours. At 2am I finished that, and headed to bed. This morning I woke up and pretty much went straight into work. Even forgetting to check my computer, which is something I do almost religiously. Guess how many hours I worked? Yeah, that'd be an 11 hour day under my belt. And I've actually done about an hours worth of work tonight from home as well.
I have on more than one occasion missed occasions with family, friends, and loved ones for my work. I feel an obligation to it, to my clients, to my boss, to my work. Call me crazy, tell me my priorities aren't straight. Whatever it is, it is a dedication that I am glad I have. With my wavering dedication and belief in my schooling, it is a relief to have such a solid foundation to lean on. Tell me this is my way of defending it, what ever that be, it's fine with me. Because I know that what I am doing is right for me, and who I will become. It's teaching me a lesson I will never forget, no matter where I go in life.
All my hard work and dedication is beginning to show. I am continually praised at work, and commended for a job well done. I've been given a healthy raise, discussed between my boss and I. Today he bumped my raise up because of the work I've done lately. To make a horrible Lord of the Rings pun: I've really shown my worth.. My boss has already recommended we discuss my future in other fields in the company, stating that I've shown "great natural ability" in areas I've never had any formal, informal, or even dabbling in. We will start are discussions in two weeks.
I have trouble not discussing work with my family, friends, and loved ones. Does this make me a bad person? Does this make me a "slave to the system"? What does it make me? Sometimes, quoting one of my favorite movies, I feel like a "self indulgent wiener". I have trouble holding in my excitement with work. Does this make me a self indulgent wiener? Have I become an asshole who doesn't care about anyone else? This surely can't be. I'm deeply involved and moved in the lives of those I love. I do want to know about their day. I do want to know about their concerns, their frustrations, their loves, their joys, everything. I really do.
Please, those in my life that have suffered from my work. Please forgive me. I will come around. I will show my worth to you all. For now though, I must live my career. I must push myself to both my physical and mental bounds. In this endeavor, I must experience as much as I can. I will seize this moment. It is mine. And for that, I must seek forgiveness.
Sometimes it is an apology away from borderline.
So, as the subject says:
I've noticed a trend developing. My work is very much my life. Not only that, but I've become a workaholic. But I don't necessarily see that as a negative thing. Even though many of you might think differently.
I'm building a career. I'm building my future. If my days right now are any indication of what my future days will be like, I will gladly embrace it.
Yesterday I worked roughly a 10 hour day. I than came home, worked on schoolwork for about an hour and half, than I worked on a project for work, from home for another 3 hours. At 2am I finished that, and headed to bed. This morning I woke up and pretty much went straight into work. Even forgetting to check my computer, which is something I do almost religiously. Guess how many hours I worked? Yeah, that'd be an 11 hour day under my belt. And I've actually done about an hours worth of work tonight from home as well.
I have on more than one occasion missed occasions with family, friends, and loved ones for my work. I feel an obligation to it, to my clients, to my boss, to my work. Call me crazy, tell me my priorities aren't straight. Whatever it is, it is a dedication that I am glad I have. With my wavering dedication and belief in my schooling, it is a relief to have such a solid foundation to lean on. Tell me this is my way of defending it, what ever that be, it's fine with me. Because I know that what I am doing is right for me, and who I will become. It's teaching me a lesson I will never forget, no matter where I go in life.
All my hard work and dedication is beginning to show. I am continually praised at work, and commended for a job well done. I've been given a healthy raise, discussed between my boss and I. Today he bumped my raise up because of the work I've done lately. To make a horrible Lord of the Rings pun: I've really shown my worth.. My boss has already recommended we discuss my future in other fields in the company, stating that I've shown "great natural ability" in areas I've never had any formal, informal, or even dabbling in. We will start are discussions in two weeks.
I have trouble not discussing work with my family, friends, and loved ones. Does this make me a bad person? Does this make me a "slave to the system"? What does it make me? Sometimes, quoting one of my favorite movies, I feel like a "self indulgent wiener". I have trouble holding in my excitement with work. Does this make me a self indulgent wiener? Have I become an asshole who doesn't care about anyone else? This surely can't be. I'm deeply involved and moved in the lives of those I love. I do want to know about their day. I do want to know about their concerns, their frustrations, their loves, their joys, everything. I really do.
Please, those in my life that have suffered from my work. Please forgive me. I will come around. I will show my worth to you all. For now though, I must live my career. I must push myself to both my physical and mental bounds. In this endeavor, I must experience as much as I can. I will seize this moment. It is mine. And for that, I must seek forgiveness.
Sometimes it is an apology away from borderline.