Dear NASCAR Santa,
I got this from a NASCAR site I frequent. I thought it was hilarious!
Dear NASCAR Santa,
My list is short this year, so I hope you can do all of these things for me.
1. Please make Ben Roethlisberger play better or sit on the bench cause I dont think I can take another day of hearing everybody whine because the Steelers arent winning I dont even like the Steelers so I dont really care but I am sick of the whinners around me, I know it would be cruel to ask that he get hit in the nose with a football like Marcia Brady so I wont ask "
2. Please make the lucky dog go away. (Santa dont get me wrong here I like my dog even though she takes up the bed in the middle of the night. And she's lucky to have a home after she bit a hole in the couch and dug up the backyard and won't stop putting her head in the trash can) But the lucky dog is different. It seems to make the guys that are racing think they don't really have to try as hard to get on the lead lap. It seems to squelch their racing desire. I know it's not often that an adult asks you to take away something rather than bring something, but maybe there is someone else that would like the lucky dog and give it a good home.
3. Please give extra toys to all the whinny drivers so they will be alittle more happy next year ,like to the Bush Boys and Jimmy Johnson and Jeff Gordon and can you please send a copy of Nascar For Dummies to Brian Vickers to teach him how you go about winning a race without stealing a race.
4. Please build five more racetracks just like Bristol. I know it's hard, but I remember when you gave that little girl a new house on 34th Street even when she didn't believe in you YEAH DIDNT THINK I REMEMBERED THAT ONE DID YA??Everyone knows a racetrack is more important than a house. More people can sleep there and it's okay if you throw peanut shells on the ground. Oh, and when you build those race tracks, please make sure there are lots of escalators to get to the top.
5. I'd also like you to lower the prices at all the race tracks so more people can afford to go, I saved money for a whole year one time to go (except for buying the whoopie cushion to play a trick on my friend) and still didn't have enough money for a ticket. I have to pay for a lot of other things like clothes and food and cable TV to see all the races, I could go to more races if the tickets weren't so much.
6. I know that world peace is a big thing to ask for, so could you at least make it so Kurt Busch can get along with others? I think that would be a nice first step. Maybe you can give him the same things you gave Tony Stewart.. And maybe the driver that took Jr out in Talladega you know who I am talking about dont wanna mention his name again " but slip him some shit like he did Jr okay "
7. Please help the Pettys have enough money to keep running the camp for sick kids.I know that when kids get to go there they are always happy after they leave....I think all the money that NASCAR takes away from the drivers when they cheat or say bad words shouldn't get to go back to them, but it should go to help someone else like the Pettys at their camp.
8. Also I hope you can make it so that a driver doesn't lose points when his crew chief tries to cheat. Unless it's someone that works for the Hendrick team because they seem to cheat a lot and not ever have to get in trouble for it.
9. Please help Jr in the Chase next year.... It makes me sad to see Dale Jr disappointed, and I really hope you can make his car go really fast this coming year. Maybe you can put some of the magic reindeer dust that makes them fly into the gas tank so the car will go faster. " just asking
10. And the biggest thing I want for Christmas, Santa, is a big Championship trophy. I don't want it for myself, though. I know your not suppose to ask for things for yourself. So can you please deliver the big trophy to Dale Jrs House, I think that he lives in Mooresville, NC. But if you can't find his house, you probably can take it to Tony Eury Jr's house and I am sure that he will make sure that JR gets it well maaaaaaybe after he leaves it sit on his mantle for just a few days lol...Im sure Jr wouldnt mind. But just be sure to put Jr's name on it and I bet Tony will make sure to give it to him. I want this more than anything else, so even if you can't make Kurt Busch nice, and you cant make all the cry babies happy and you can't make more tracks like Bristol, and you can't make them charge less money for tickets,
I won't be sad if you just deliver that trophy to Dale Jr. Because he is the definition of a TRUE CHAMPION he is one of character, wit, integrity and I love him so much.....
Merry Christmas Santa
From a Big Kid
Who Loves Nascar
and Dale Jr.
Dear NASCAR Santa,
My list is short this year, so I hope you can do all of these things for me.
1. Please make Ben Roethlisberger play better or sit on the bench cause I dont think I can take another day of hearing everybody whine because the Steelers arent winning I dont even like the Steelers so I dont really care but I am sick of the whinners around me, I know it would be cruel to ask that he get hit in the nose with a football like Marcia Brady so I wont ask "
2. Please make the lucky dog go away. (Santa dont get me wrong here I like my dog even though she takes up the bed in the middle of the night. And she's lucky to have a home after she bit a hole in the couch and dug up the backyard and won't stop putting her head in the trash can) But the lucky dog is different. It seems to make the guys that are racing think they don't really have to try as hard to get on the lead lap. It seems to squelch their racing desire. I know it's not often that an adult asks you to take away something rather than bring something, but maybe there is someone else that would like the lucky dog and give it a good home.
3. Please give extra toys to all the whinny drivers so they will be alittle more happy next year ,like to the Bush Boys and Jimmy Johnson and Jeff Gordon and can you please send a copy of Nascar For Dummies to Brian Vickers to teach him how you go about winning a race without stealing a race.
4. Please build five more racetracks just like Bristol. I know it's hard, but I remember when you gave that little girl a new house on 34th Street even when she didn't believe in you YEAH DIDNT THINK I REMEMBERED THAT ONE DID YA??Everyone knows a racetrack is more important than a house. More people can sleep there and it's okay if you throw peanut shells on the ground. Oh, and when you build those race tracks, please make sure there are lots of escalators to get to the top.
5. I'd also like you to lower the prices at all the race tracks so more people can afford to go, I saved money for a whole year one time to go (except for buying the whoopie cushion to play a trick on my friend) and still didn't have enough money for a ticket. I have to pay for a lot of other things like clothes and food and cable TV to see all the races, I could go to more races if the tickets weren't so much.
6. I know that world peace is a big thing to ask for, so could you at least make it so Kurt Busch can get along with others? I think that would be a nice first step. Maybe you can give him the same things you gave Tony Stewart.. And maybe the driver that took Jr out in Talladega you know who I am talking about dont wanna mention his name again " but slip him some shit like he did Jr okay "
7. Please help the Pettys have enough money to keep running the camp for sick kids.I know that when kids get to go there they are always happy after they leave....I think all the money that NASCAR takes away from the drivers when they cheat or say bad words shouldn't get to go back to them, but it should go to help someone else like the Pettys at their camp.
8. Also I hope you can make it so that a driver doesn't lose points when his crew chief tries to cheat. Unless it's someone that works for the Hendrick team because they seem to cheat a lot and not ever have to get in trouble for it.
9. Please help Jr in the Chase next year.... It makes me sad to see Dale Jr disappointed, and I really hope you can make his car go really fast this coming year. Maybe you can put some of the magic reindeer dust that makes them fly into the gas tank so the car will go faster. " just asking
10. And the biggest thing I want for Christmas, Santa, is a big Championship trophy. I don't want it for myself, though. I know your not suppose to ask for things for yourself. So can you please deliver the big trophy to Dale Jrs House, I think that he lives in Mooresville, NC. But if you can't find his house, you probably can take it to Tony Eury Jr's house and I am sure that he will make sure that JR gets it well maaaaaaybe after he leaves it sit on his mantle for just a few days lol...Im sure Jr wouldnt mind. But just be sure to put Jr's name on it and I bet Tony will make sure to give it to him. I want this more than anything else, so even if you can't make Kurt Busch nice, and you cant make all the cry babies happy and you can't make more tracks like Bristol, and you can't make them charge less money for tickets,
I won't be sad if you just deliver that trophy to Dale Jr. Because he is the definition of a TRUE CHAMPION he is one of character, wit, integrity and I love him so much.....
Merry Christmas Santa
From a Big Kid
Who Loves Nascar
and Dale Jr.