Oct 25, 2005 18:33
Hello Happy Haunters!
On behalf of the Black Widow and Aragog, Owners and Proprietors of the Hidden Hollow Haunted House, I would like to cordially invite you to a dinner party to celebrate the opening of the season of haunting. We've got some new faces this year, so I have included a brief history of everyone. Read it carefully, as you never know who you may be placed next to at dinner. You wouldn't want to be caught off guard in a conversation....
Dinner will begin promptly at 5:00 on Saturday, October 29th at the Hidden Hollow Haunted House located in the scary city of Eastpointe. We will have several challenges set up to encourage mingling before dinner, so you may begin arriving around 4:00. Please dress to impress. See you then.
Gritch
Grandmummy- (Grandma) A very bossy mummy, the Grandmummy has been employed at the haunted house the longest. She and Aragog went to school together and when he came into ownership of the house, he begged her to come work for him for her "go getter" attitude. Problem is, she's incredibly bossy, always insisting things go her way since "I AM THE GRANDMUMMY". She seems to think her personal friendship and years of seniority at the house entitle her to take charge. She and Gritch tend to have several run ins as the Grandmummy hates that Aragog put her in charge. Additionally, she hates noise and mess and especially hates those who make the them. Thing is..........she can end up being the noisiest and messiest of the bunch.
Medusa- (Aunt Susie) Currently undergoing psychiatric care for possible schizophrenia, Medusa is a real mess. She is constantly causing trouble with other haunters and blaming it on the "voices". Apparently each one of those crazy snakes stuck to the top of her head has an opinion about what's going on or what she should be doing. When they decide to start arguing, she is often seen going here or there, turning her head violently, trying to keep up with which snake is saying what. After further investigation, we've found that each of those snakes has a name and a distinct personality. When caught doing something completely evil, she blames one of the snakes. Personally, I think this is all a front and her ill doings are of her own accord. It's really easy to blame the snakes isn't it?
Marvin the Mad Scientist- (Andy) Has made it his personal mission to "fix" all the quirks of the other haunters. Marvin spends a lot of time in his laboratory concocting potions he thinks will remedy those around him. Others have taken to hiding or going the other way when they see him coming. Most of his potions are odd colors and are usually smoking. Known to make most who take them violently ill, he is currently under the medical board's scrutiny, although he doesn't understand why. He is often heard either mumbling to himself or screeching "GENIUS......PURE AND UTTER GENIUS!!!!!"
Elvira- (Gina) The offspring leading to the Black Widow's third feast, Elvira and her mother DO NOT GET ALONG........AT ALL. She feels like she is the least favorite of all her 736 brothers and sisters. Banned from living at the haunted house on a full time basis, Elvira is constantly doing things that irritate the Black Widow. She is broke and taking up residence with anyone who will take her in, claiming that her mother is cheap and hoarding all the money she received from her seven other marriages. Elvira also feels that Aragog is a huge part of the reason the the two of them argue so much. She rolls her eyes a lot when the Black Widow is around.
Fwankenstein- (Uncle Don) Afflicted with a terrible speech impediment, poor Fwankenstein is very self conscious speaking in front of others. Often the butt of jokes and Aragog's favorite form of entertainment, other haunters love to have Fwankenstein repeat phrases full of the "R" and "L" sounds. Phrases such as "Red rabbits run really fast" come out sounding like "Wed wabbits wun weawwy fast" much to the amusement of others. Aragog has spent many a night concocting the most complex R and L infused phrases for his own amusement. In an attempt to cure his ailment, "Fwankenstein" has gotten to be really good friends with Marvin and Wanda.
Waldo Werewolf- (Uncle Ken) So incredibly distressed with his situation, Waldo has taken to drinking excessively. He's not a happy drunk, and once he's consumed more than one drink, takes to howling even if there isn't a full moon. In an attempt to remedy his situation, he recently made a visit to Marvin's lab. Marvin concocted a solution made to be applied directly to the skin. Thinking it was safe as long as he didn't have to drink it, Waldo gave it a try. Unfortunately, it has made him quite itchy and has attracted an army of fleas. Because Marvin insists that he shouldn't wash the solution off before it has a chance to work, it's been several weeks since Waldo has bathed and he's starting to have a stench. Nothing like a drunk, itchy, smelly howler. Waldo knew Aragog before he was bitten by the creature that sentenced him to his fate.
Madame Bones the Skeleton- (Aunt Son Ok) More concerned with her appearance than the haunting of the house, Madame Bones is on a perpetual diet. Bring up a conversation with her, and she will respond with "Do I look fat?" or "Does my butt look big?". Most of the people who come through the haunted house are accosted with questions such as "How do you stay so skinny?" or "What color/brand of lipstick are you wearing?". Almost all of her time and money are spent on infomercials that promise "weight loss success in just 7 weeks". Her weakness, however, is chocolate. She can never say no, and then spends hours crying over losing "all her hard work". She can be convinced to do almost anything with just a whiff of anything made of cocoa beans.
Bubba Bat Boy- (Sam) The Black Widow's favorite and personal pet, Bubba enjoys taking advantage of his preferred status. He is known for causing trouble, playing pranks, and making an overall pest of himself. When caught, he blames his evil doings on others, knowing full well that the Black Widow will believe him. He is not a favorite among the staff members at the house.
Esmerelda the Gypsy Woman- (Aunt Patsy) A little batty, Esmerelda loves predicting futures with the aid of her crystal ball, even though years ago, Aragog stole her legitimate one and replaced it with a mixing bowl. Everyone in the house knows she's a fraud, but they smile and nod at her every time she makes a prediction or does a reading on someone. Her readings have gotten more and more bizarre lately, and she recently had a run in with Fwankenstein when she told him that soon his "s" sound would sound more like the "th" sound. She chases him around chanting "thilly, thally, thells, thea thells" and then laughs like a demon. Oddly enough, several of her predictions have been accurate enough that no one is really sure when to take her seriously.
Hector Hunchback- (Uncle John) Loves little kitties.......a lot. We're not entirely sure, but it seems that he feels a special bond with them. Especially when they get ticked off and arch their backs.....must be the hunch. He's figured out that if he makes them good and mad, they arch their backs, hiss and their hairs stand up. Strangely enough, he then grabs them, hugs them and kisses all over them. He's recently taken to leaving cat nip about in order to lure them around. Each night there is a distinct echo of "Here kitty, kitty, kitty" heard around the grounds of the house.
Dwayne the Dementor- (Shane) Very, very, very ticklish. Bubba Bat Boy lets all who come through the house know that he is ticklish. Dwayne gets really ticked when he can't do his job because he is reduced to a giggling pile if he even sees a wiggling finger.
Wicked Witch- (Aunt Diane) Really ticked off at Aragog for not allowing her to bring her flying monkeys to work with her, she often threatens everyone that she's going to show up with them one day. This is not a pleasant thought for the other staff members, as the monkeys are drooling, stinky creatures. The black widow is particularly frightened of the monkeys, and the Wicked Witch often leaves pictures of them around where the Widow will find them. She then laughs like hell when the Widow begins screeching.
Wanda Wizard- (Shawn) Speaks several languages including French, English, Spanish and Italian. This presents a problem since she doesn't speak any of them particularly well. Her spells tend to go terribly awry since all the languages tend to get jumbled up together when she gets nervous, scared or excited. A simple spell almost always turns into a disaster. She often seeks the help of Marvin........you can imagine the chaos that ensues when the two of them are in the lab together.
Dracula- (Chad) Velma Vampiress- (Heather) Married to one another, it is rumored that they are having marital problems. Constantly arguing while in what they think is private, they put on a very good front around others. Both have always wanted to own the most prestigious haunted house in town and think they could turn it around to make it more profitable. They were recently overheard arguing about how they could get rid of Aragog and the Black Widow. Velma comes from old money, so they think they could purchase the house at whatever cost. Dracula sticks around for her cash, and unbeknownst to Velma, he recently offered Aragog a large sum of money in an attempt to purchase the house.
Black Widow- (Mom) The owner and proprietor of the Haunted House. She is married to Aragog (her 8th husband), a very large, hairy, wealthy and ornery spider. The black widow is very eccentric and has always been very bitter about their inability to conceive. In recent years she has been distressed at the financial flailings of the haunted house. It seems that she had an independent study done that found most young people thought the whole "haunted house" concept was pretty cliché. When she consulted with Gritch, and Gritch gave her ideas, the Black Widow then presented them to Aragog who went berserk. He was screaming that "the house was in his family and run the same way for 152 generations! No hip little chippy was going to change it just because she thinks she's cool!" The black widow finds herself in a very precarious situation because she loves her husband and wants to make him happy, but she's very hungry.
Gritch Witch- (Jen) Personal assistant to the Black Widow and Aragog, and also the general manager of the haunted house. She thinks the haunted house should take more of a "hip" approach in order to appeal to a younger crowd. She has recently taken to suggesting wardrobe changes to many of the haunting employees of the house. Secretly wishing she could be anything other than the manager of the haunted house, she holds out dreams of being a dancer/fashion designer/rock star, and has recently taken to trying out her newest designs on Madame Bones.
Morticia- (Jackie) Somewhat of a local celebrity, Morticia has only recently joined the staff of the Hidden Hollow Haunted House. Having formerly starred in some Hollywood films, she really feels that the haunted house is beneath her and thinks that the other staff members should bow down and cater to her. Appealing to her love of Hollywood, she recently proposed a plan to Gritch that focused on the idea that the house would be much more profitable if they made Morticia the main attraction. Gritch proposed the idea to Aragog, but he laughed. Morticia is now very angry with Aragog and her "holier than thou" attitude has increased ten fold in the past few weeks.
Lucy- (Jen) An overall diva and social butterfly, Lucy loves to gossip and spread rumors. She only works at the house as a source of entertainment to herself. Often seen lurking about trying to gather information to share, she is friends with everybody. Or so everybody thinks. Be careful of this one, you never know what she might say in that crazy valley girl voice of hers.
Gertie Ghost- (Aunt Barb) Another new addition the staff, Gertie recently joined us from her former haunt of the fabulous Pleghmtagous Theatre located in old Broadway. Problem is, years of haunting a theatre where Broadway shows were performed and been ingrained in her head. She loves show tunes and constantly busts out with song and dance......her particular favorite being "There's No Business Like Show Business", much to the dismay of Grandmummy. She just can't figure out why those who come through the haunted house laugh at her. She's very dramatic.
Betty Black Cat- (Mackenzie), Bertie Black Cat- (Julie), Bessie Black Cat-(Erin)- a litter of black cats taken to hanging about the house (especially since no one can figure out where that damn catnip keeps coming from). They are particularly frightened of Hector, but love the smell of Waldo. They really like hanging around him and nuzzling their heads on his legs. A particular pain in the neck to Grandmummy, when the three of them are together, they tend to meow and howl loudly, trying to outdo one another. They are a favorite of Wanda's when it comes to trying out new spells.
Tito Troll- (Adam) We don't know a lot about Tito, as he mainly grunts, points, and slams his club about. Elvira calls him a typical man while rolling her eyes. Fwankenstein really intrigues him and when he comes around, Tito stops, stares with his head to one side, and his mouth open. Very strange.
Greta Ghoul- (Lisa) The butler of the house, Greta knows and hears everything. A strange creature who doesn't say much, she shows up everywhere even when you aren't aware of it. She grunts and nods a lot, but always gives you the stink eye. She is rumored to be the mole and Aragog's personal spy.
Aragog- The Black Widow's eighth husband, he is very wealthy, hairy and ornery. His favorite word is "no" and knows all the buttons to push in order to upset his staff. He is often heard singing his favorite song "I am Aragog the eighth I am, Aragog the eighth I am, I am......I got married to the widow next door, she's been married seven times before, and everyone was an Aragog.........."
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party,
halloween