Forever Is As Far As I Could Go
Title: Forever Is As Far As I Could Go
Author: Jaxson K.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Warning: The is a death!fic, just not in the way you might think.....
Nick felt good about getting a chance to talk with Jamison. He knew he had been neglecting Jamison, but between work, and Greg, and everything else, who had time??? Nick was glad to know that Jamison didn't hold anything against him. What Nick should have ralized was that the good feeling wouldn't last. He should have know something would come along and fuck things up. Little did he know that it would be his precious Greg that would set things in motion.
A few weeks later, Nick had been out on a call and was just getting back to the lab when he heard raised voices coming from the lockerroom. He eased the door open and recognized Greg's voice immediately.....
“.....I don't know what you angle is, but you need to stay away from Nick and me.....”
Nick was about to intervene when he heard Jamison say: “Greg, I don't know why you feel that way. I 've always tried to be your friend, but you have always treated me like dirt under your feet. I never complained to Nick, I never outed you two at work, I never did ANYTHING to you.....”
“I'll tell you why I don't like you.....it's because I'm jealous of you! You've known Nick for years, and you're always around.”
“Greg, that's not true. I don't hang around you two and you know it. Nick tried to pick stuff we could all do together, but you didn't want to, so I started staying away...”
“And you better stay as far away as you can, or you'll regret it!”
About that time Nick stepped from his hiding place. Greg looked like he had just seen a ghost, and Jamison couldn't clear the hurt off his face quick enough. Nick saw the tears in Jamison's eyes, and went to reach for his friend. Jamison turned away from Nick and left the room. Nick turned to Greg and told him that they would continue this discussion at home. Nick went looking for Jamison, but he had left the lab. Nick drove by Jamison's place, but didn't see his car. He drove around the city for hours looking for his friend, but never did find him. He knew he had to face Greg so he made his way home to get it over with.
Greg was waiting for him when he got in. They argued about where Nick had been, and he explained that he had been looking for Jamison. That set Greg off on a tear. He started in on Nick when Nick stopped him...
“Greg, why can't you accept that Jamison has been a part of my life a lot longer than you have?”
“Because I want you all to myself, baby! I don't like to share...”
“Greg, I think we need to find a solution to this...”
“But, Nicky, it would be so much more fun if we did other stuff first...”
Greg knew exactly what he was doing. He knew that if he kept Nick distracted, the argument would be over.
When they went to work that night, Grissom was waiting for them in the break room. He asked Nick to follow him to his office, and left the room. Nick glanced back at Greg and went to follow their boss. When Nick reached Grissom's office, Grissom asked him to shut the door. Nick sat down and looked at his boss...
“Nick, I need to tell you something, and I know you are going to be upet...”
“Come on, Griss, what is it??”
“Jamison Lenox is dead...”
“WHAT????????????”
“Suicide. His body was found late this afternoon.....”
Nick stared at Gil Grissom in disbelief. Jamison...dead. Oh, God!
Nick left Grissom's office in a daze. He went back to the break room to let Greg know he was going home. Greg knew he could comfort Nick like he really wanted to, but it didn't matter. Nick was beyond comfort anyway.
The next few days passed in a haze for Nick. The memorial service and funeral were two of the hardest things he'd had to go through, especially alone. He and Greg were fighting at the moment, but it didn't matter. Nick was at the point that he didn't care about anything much anymore. Nick had just returned from the funeral when he stopped to get the mail from the mailbox. He rifled through the usual bills and ads when he saw something that chilled him to the bone.
The plain white envelope was addressed to him in Jamison's unique handwriting. Tearing open the envelope, Nick pulled the paper out and began to read.....
Dear Tex,
If you're reading this, then I did what I set out to do. I just wanted to write you this note before I go. I don't like to be where I'm not wanted, but I want to thank you for not letting it show. I'm sorry things ended this way, but it's probably for the best.
Tex, I've loved you for a long time, but I never said anything because I didn't think I was good enough for you. You are a very special man, and I hope you stay that way. Try not to hate me, Tex. I hope I've gotten far enough out of the way, because forever is as far as I could go!
Love, Jamison
Nick walked into the house wiping tears from his face. Greg looked up from where he was sitting on the sofa. Nick walked to the bedroom, changed his clothes, packed a bag, and headed back to the living room. He set his bag down by the door.
“Are you going somewhere, Nick?”
“Yes, I'm going to see my folks in Texas for a few days. Don't be here when I get back...”
Nick walked over to where Greg was sitting and dropped the letter from Jamison in Greg's lap. As he started to walk away, he turned back to Greg and said,”I hope you're satisfied.....”
END