Enlightened
May 2nd, 2006. Its been 11 yrs to the day since I lost my little brother Keith to Leukemia. It was definitly the hardest thing I have ever went through in my entire life. It took so long for me to get over it. My thoughts would always seem to turn to him no matter what happened. But over time I did get over it and while I still think about him a lot, I do it more to celebrate his life rather than to be remorseful. And I know hes in Heaven where there is no way he would want to come back now. And I still have Kevin so, I get to see him in Kevin whenever I think about him.
The last few days Ive went through what is right up there with the 2nd hardest thing Ive ever had to go through. And that is losing my friend Brian Wagner who died in a 4wheeler wreck a quarter mile from my house. Brian and I were kindred spirits in a way. We both loved playing basketball as much as anything we do, and were usually willing to drop whatever we were doing to play. We also were mischevious and often times Id see myself in Brian, who was 3 yrs younger than me. He is truly one of my favorite people, as Id often go to Bell Co bball games after my brother and me graduated with the main purpose being to watch him play. He was so much fun to play with or against. If we played against each other wed always matchup and talk smack. He was very good and often times did get the best of me, as I would him, until recently. The biggest peace I get from this is knowing that for the past year hes been a very strong Christian. Sunday night I went face to face with the body and it had a chilling effect on me. I was devastated. It hurt bad. And for his 2 parents, brother Chris, and girlfriend Becca my heart was truly broken for them. Becca read a poem that had me in tears, yet comforted me all the while. I got to be a palbearer, which was a huge honor for me. As we carried the casket up the hill I thought of all the times we had played ball together and went to UK football games, or just went to eat. One thing that gave me joy was when the burial service was being conducted I could hear a turkey gobbling up in the woods. Brian loved to turkey hunt, and it was like a sense of peace came over all us palbearers standing there in honor.
One thought that has given me joy amist all the pain Ive felt the past few days is that Brian is now with my brother Keith. 2 boys very similar in lives. Both were strong Christians with unique gifts for touching people and were passionate in whatever the did, particularly basketball. I keep having these thoughts of them meeting in Heaven and being together, having joy while waiting on the rest of us to come join them someday. I cant imagine what they are doing, but it may even be better than basketball! Ill forever miss my amazing friend and at the same time understand that if I live life right I will see him and Keith again.
In the meantime I now leave to do what Brian would want me to do. Im going to play basketball. Id like to think that while I play Brian will look down on me and smile. I know he will never come back to me, but one day Ill be able to go to him.
Brian Wagner
February 11, 1987-April 28, 2006
The last few days Ive went through what is right up there with the 2nd hardest thing Ive ever had to go through. And that is losing my friend Brian Wagner who died in a 4wheeler wreck a quarter mile from my house. Brian and I were kindred spirits in a way. We both loved playing basketball as much as anything we do, and were usually willing to drop whatever we were doing to play. We also were mischevious and often times Id see myself in Brian, who was 3 yrs younger than me. He is truly one of my favorite people, as Id often go to Bell Co bball games after my brother and me graduated with the main purpose being to watch him play. He was so much fun to play with or against. If we played against each other wed always matchup and talk smack. He was very good and often times did get the best of me, as I would him, until recently. The biggest peace I get from this is knowing that for the past year hes been a very strong Christian. Sunday night I went face to face with the body and it had a chilling effect on me. I was devastated. It hurt bad. And for his 2 parents, brother Chris, and girlfriend Becca my heart was truly broken for them. Becca read a poem that had me in tears, yet comforted me all the while. I got to be a palbearer, which was a huge honor for me. As we carried the casket up the hill I thought of all the times we had played ball together and went to UK football games, or just went to eat. One thing that gave me joy was when the burial service was being conducted I could hear a turkey gobbling up in the woods. Brian loved to turkey hunt, and it was like a sense of peace came over all us palbearers standing there in honor.
One thought that has given me joy amist all the pain Ive felt the past few days is that Brian is now with my brother Keith. 2 boys very similar in lives. Both were strong Christians with unique gifts for touching people and were passionate in whatever the did, particularly basketball. I keep having these thoughts of them meeting in Heaven and being together, having joy while waiting on the rest of us to come join them someday. I cant imagine what they are doing, but it may even be better than basketball! Ill forever miss my amazing friend and at the same time understand that if I live life right I will see him and Keith again.
In the meantime I now leave to do what Brian would want me to do. Im going to play basketball. Id like to think that while I play Brian will look down on me and smile. I know he will never come back to me, but one day Ill be able to go to him.
Brian Wagner
February 11, 1987-April 28, 2006