Why try
Well this will probly be the frist and last time i talk about how i feel on this thing. Well im pissed off and depressed at the same time. All the stuff in my life, the little things that would never bring me to this point all seem to have come at the same time. The stuff i thought i new about people seems to be wrong or if i thought i new anything i guess i didnt know as much as i thought. People that i thought trusted me dont, they seem to want to hide things from me and not want me to find out or they tell me a lie that they think i want to hear and go and do the thing they said they would not. I guess its cuz im the nice guy, for the longest time ive always be told "aww nick your so sweet", "your a nice guy" or that i am a goody goody guy and well i guess thats the guy i am, i guess. At this time though i feel like being the ass hole everyone hates and the person people really dont want to talk to. When your that guy people dont give a shit about what they tell you or how you might take it. That way people wouldnt hide shit from me or have to lie behind my back. Oh well maybe im just rambeling and have no clue what I am talking about and i might just be blowing stuff out of the water when its not as bad as i think who knows. Shit just doesnt seem to be going my way though it really never does when i try to be happy something always comes up to bring me down but thats the story of my life. I cant really talk to anyone like my boys i mean there cool but hey they cant help and the girls wouldnt know what to say, grandparents or parents NAH, they might think things are worse then they really are. I mean dont get me wrong this is something i can take, im not a weak person though some may think. ill just have to live with it and hope shit works out. Well there ya fucking go thats how i feel have a great fucking day.