Have I REALLY been putting up with the same shit, the same unhappiness, the same broken promises for almost TWO YEARS????!!! Fucking hell, it's no one's fault but mine at this point that Ive become such good friends with misery.
So... I noticed the title "I like to swim" in the history of our web browser. For the record it was the last page visited online; I wasn't spying. It hurt reading what loaded when I clicked the link, "I'm living with my enemy". It hurt even more the further I read. It's frustrating seeing that you can do something online that you have failed so many times to do with me... TALK. It blows my mind that you feel more comfortable with strangers knowing how you feel than your own husband. You were so dramatic in your last post, "...it's no one's fault but mine at this point...". If you really wanna give yourself some credit then put it in the right place: you have made my failures and short comings worse by avoiding confrontation (which you learn time and time again doesn't work). The lack of communication is unbelievable. It even led to you meeting with Corey downtown at 2 in the morning to talk about your marital problems... wow. You wanna talk about trust? You destroyed it with that one. AND I had to find out from Corey's wife that the two of you were there! AND she found out from friends of hers that saw the two of you! I don't see any posts about that stuff. Look, I completely understand blogging about your life. I understand wanting to vent or examine a situation before talking but that's not what you are doing. You put our business on display for ANYONE to read and then you don't even have the decency to find closure and TALK TO ME!
And what did Lisa do to you? That entry was so mean. Do you realize how bad that made you look. So what if she wants to help people to feel better about herself; SHE WOULD STILL BE HELPING PEOPLE. Honestly, I would be in the same boat. If I help somebody I'm probably gonna feel pretty good and if you think about it you would see that you are the same way. And as far as wanting to get high: go do it! I'm tired of feeling like some wall that's keeping you from your stoner lifestyle. And I'm pretty sure I'm not sounding extreme considering that before we met you smoked all the time and your best friends smoked at least once a day. I only mention it here because of the end of that post and how you were talking about wanting to get some weed but couldn't with LeeAnn. Do you know how paranoid that makes me!?! Have you gone since then?? I have even gone as far as wondering if that's why you have been getting ice cream and brownies and muffins lately. It would be funny if it wasn't part of this whole situation.
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