[on_thecouch] 5.3- Alcohol, drugs, and sex
October 15, 2006
It was funny, just how the light reflected off the glass like that. The liquid inside was cloudy, but virtually clear... there was barely any contents left within it, but it still reflected light off of it like a diamond glittering in the sun. This was his diamond lately, those very contents within the bottle. Diamonds were a girl's best friend, but vodka was his tonight. Then again, it had been his best friend for awhile now. Serving himself another drink, he set the bottle down and slumped back on the couch, staring blankly at the television that had been rattling off the sports scores in the background.
Nick scoffed softly. "Fuckin' Dolphins. Never gonna be any good again," he mumbled, grabbing the glass and taking a long drink. The burn of the alcohol had long since faded as it ran down his throat, the taste now something he was accustomed to. It was like drinking a glass of water, although lately he had been drinking enough to make a dehydrated man more than healthy once more. It didn't matter. It still wasn't enough. Tapping the side of the glass against the arm of the couch, Nick's eyes looked towards the TV, but his gaze wasn't focused upon it. No, his mind had wandered as it always did. It wandered to the reason he always went to the bottle, the reason he always sought the burn of the alcohol to the point where he just couldn't taste it anymore. So his mind couldn't think about it anymore.
If he didn't remember it, maybe it didn't happen.
That's what he hoped anyway. It just hadn't happened yet.
He could still hope.
That's why he reached over for the bottle again, pouring himself once more. Just one more. One more should do it. Then maybe he wouldn't remember anymore. Maybe he'd be able to forget.
He quickly finished off the latest pour, the contents of the bottle spent. His mind was thick, his eyelids heavy. The drone of the TV went on in the background, but he had long since tuned it out. Nick shut his eyes for a few moments, telling himself he just wanted a rest, he felt a slight peace washing over him. It was quiet here... maybe he could stay here for awhile.
As the glass crashed to the floor, Nick's eyes remained shut. Nick was finally at peace. For once, one more glass had done it. He finally couldn't remember.
* * *
He had been lucky. His neighbor had heard the crash of the glass and had gone to investigate. The ambulance had arrived and the paramedics had saved him. His blood alcohol levels had been marked at .48, dangerous considering a .41 alcohol level had killed John Bonham . Nick was alive by a miracle that night. The doctors put him through detox, the police department had him benched until he could clean up his act. What none of them knew was that the first night he spent at home, he would reach out for his diamond, praying to finish off what he started.
He still remembered everything, but now he had a goal. The night he died, he *didn't* remember. He knew what he needed to do now to never remember any of it ever again. For the first time in his life, the thought didn't terrify him.
It was funny, just how the light reflected off the glass like that. The liquid inside was cloudy, but virtually clear... there was barely any contents left within it, but it still reflected light off of it like a diamond glittering in the sun. This was his diamond lately, those very contents within the bottle. Diamonds were a girl's best friend, but vodka was his tonight. Then again, it had been his best friend for awhile now. Serving himself another drink, he set the bottle down and slumped back on the couch, staring blankly at the television that had been rattling off the sports scores in the background.
Nick scoffed softly. "Fuckin' Dolphins. Never gonna be any good again," he mumbled, grabbing the glass and taking a long drink. The burn of the alcohol had long since faded as it ran down his throat, the taste now something he was accustomed to. It was like drinking a glass of water, although lately he had been drinking enough to make a dehydrated man more than healthy once more. It didn't matter. It still wasn't enough. Tapping the side of the glass against the arm of the couch, Nick's eyes looked towards the TV, but his gaze wasn't focused upon it. No, his mind had wandered as it always did. It wandered to the reason he always went to the bottle, the reason he always sought the burn of the alcohol to the point where he just couldn't taste it anymore. So his mind couldn't think about it anymore.
If he didn't remember it, maybe it didn't happen.
That's what he hoped anyway. It just hadn't happened yet.
He could still hope.
That's why he reached over for the bottle again, pouring himself once more. Just one more. One more should do it. Then maybe he wouldn't remember anymore. Maybe he'd be able to forget.
He quickly finished off the latest pour, the contents of the bottle spent. His mind was thick, his eyelids heavy. The drone of the TV went on in the background, but he had long since tuned it out. Nick shut his eyes for a few moments, telling himself he just wanted a rest, he felt a slight peace washing over him. It was quiet here... maybe he could stay here for awhile.
As the glass crashed to the floor, Nick's eyes remained shut. Nick was finally at peace. For once, one more glass had done it. He finally couldn't remember.
* * *
He had been lucky. His neighbor had heard the crash of the glass and had gone to investigate. The ambulance had arrived and the paramedics had saved him. His blood alcohol levels had been marked at .48, dangerous considering a .41 alcohol level had killed John Bonham . Nick was alive by a miracle that night. The doctors put him through detox, the police department had him benched until he could clean up his act. What none of them knew was that the first night he spent at home, he would reach out for his diamond, praying to finish off what he started.
He still remembered everything, but now he had a goal. The night he died, he *didn't* remember. He knew what he needed to do now to never remember any of it ever again. For the first time in his life, the thought didn't terrify him.