Christmas Eve!
Well, its 12:30... Just got back from Boston, and it was a blast... I seriously love that city and visiting Catherine was awesome, it was nice to see her again after 4 months. Talked about some drama...hehee... Our lives were based on drama but a lot better now becasue we both found things that worked out for us and knew that fate has its place, that everything happened for a reason.
Its weird, cause I thought some things that were missing from my life were going to be lost and make my life miserable, but things actually turned out better. I'm now a stronger person, learned about myself, learned about my mistakes, and taking everyhitng that happened in the past semster, I took aside, and things worked out for the better. Thats fate, everything happened for a reason, I got what I needed when my grandmother dies, all the support was there for me, when I finally moved on from her death, I did not need the support anymore, and things had to change. I accept those changes and if that never happened, I would not be able to meet some of the poeple that I have met, espacially you know who :-)...
On the way home from Boston, I was thinkng what kind of a person I was during the semester. I never knew that a death could change a person so much. I was not myself. I needed comfort and attention and I did what I had to do. It was funny becasue it was my worst fear, becoming someone who i really wasn't because of a death close to you. I put it out on my friends, and put it out on my family. I was a backstabber, trying to get poeple to hate each other, trying to get people to hate me, and trying to make poeple depressed becasue I was. I did not like being alone, I wanted poeple to experience the pain and guilt that I was experiencing at the time. I did horrible things, said horrible things, and I take all responsibility for my actions. I know that some of the poeple that I am refering to do not read this becasue I deleted their screennames because I do not want to bother them... but I was glad that they did what they did, I desearve it, it made me hink, it made me a better person, and good things happened. I opened up more, started to smile again, and moved on. Things became so much better and I am being myself again. I wish that I can still show these people that I did change for the better, and it was because of them. Even though they do not read this, it makes me feel better just to write it down somewhere... but I do wish they could read this, but stupid me, lost contact, screenames that i deleted and completely forgot...so I have no way to talk to them...but its my fault.
Today is Christmas Eve, the first Christmas Eve that is not at my Grandmother's old house, the first christmas without my grandmother, the first chrsitmas where I don't pass out the presents and organized them around the room by age, the first chrsitmas where all the guys get the same thing but in different colors... I will miss the little things but I have to look in the bright side, at least my family is still getting together... and thats all it matters.
I have to work from 8-5, but leaving at 4, no matter what my manager says, I'm not spending my Christmas Eve at friggin Old Navy... I still have some more xmas shopping to do, I might do that during my break...hopefully i find something...
I will be spending Xmas Eve in Barre, then coming back to Gardner and then going to the Kelley's then going to the midnight service with Moira, Joho, and their families, which should be fun!
Happy Holidays everyone! Call the cell anytime, I'll be glad to hear from people!
Its weird, cause I thought some things that were missing from my life were going to be lost and make my life miserable, but things actually turned out better. I'm now a stronger person, learned about myself, learned about my mistakes, and taking everyhitng that happened in the past semster, I took aside, and things worked out for the better. Thats fate, everything happened for a reason, I got what I needed when my grandmother dies, all the support was there for me, when I finally moved on from her death, I did not need the support anymore, and things had to change. I accept those changes and if that never happened, I would not be able to meet some of the poeple that I have met, espacially you know who :-)...
On the way home from Boston, I was thinkng what kind of a person I was during the semester. I never knew that a death could change a person so much. I was not myself. I needed comfort and attention and I did what I had to do. It was funny becasue it was my worst fear, becoming someone who i really wasn't because of a death close to you. I put it out on my friends, and put it out on my family. I was a backstabber, trying to get poeple to hate each other, trying to get people to hate me, and trying to make poeple depressed becasue I was. I did not like being alone, I wanted poeple to experience the pain and guilt that I was experiencing at the time. I did horrible things, said horrible things, and I take all responsibility for my actions. I know that some of the poeple that I am refering to do not read this becasue I deleted their screennames because I do not want to bother them... but I was glad that they did what they did, I desearve it, it made me hink, it made me a better person, and good things happened. I opened up more, started to smile again, and moved on. Things became so much better and I am being myself again. I wish that I can still show these people that I did change for the better, and it was because of them. Even though they do not read this, it makes me feel better just to write it down somewhere... but I do wish they could read this, but stupid me, lost contact, screenames that i deleted and completely forgot...so I have no way to talk to them...but its my fault.
Today is Christmas Eve, the first Christmas Eve that is not at my Grandmother's old house, the first christmas without my grandmother, the first chrsitmas where I don't pass out the presents and organized them around the room by age, the first chrsitmas where all the guys get the same thing but in different colors... I will miss the little things but I have to look in the bright side, at least my family is still getting together... and thats all it matters.
I have to work from 8-5, but leaving at 4, no matter what my manager says, I'm not spending my Christmas Eve at friggin Old Navy... I still have some more xmas shopping to do, I might do that during my break...hopefully i find something...
I will be spending Xmas Eve in Barre, then coming back to Gardner and then going to the Kelley's then going to the midnight service with Moira, Joho, and their families, which should be fun!
Happy Holidays everyone! Call the cell anytime, I'll be glad to hear from people!