LuRe Big Bang - The Notebook - Chapter 11
Chapter ElevenAugust, 2011
“I don’t know what you expect me to say to this Luke.” Nick paced back and forth in the living room as Luke sat on the couch. “I wanna kill him. I really do. I wanna kill him and then tell you to go to hell.” Nick stopped at the window and looked out at the yard running a hand through his hair. “The only problem with that is that in spite of everything, I love you.” Nick walked over to the couch and sat down next to Luke.
“I love you too.” Nick took Luke’s hands in his own.
“I meant what I said when I gave you that ring.”
“I did too. I really did.” Luke looked down at their hands tangled together and let out a sigh. “It’s just Reid. I wish I had a better explanation than that but I don’t.” Nick nodded at this.
“Look, its normal not to forget your first love.” Nick took one of his hands and brought it up to Luke’s cheek cupping it gently. “I love you, Luke, but I want you for myself. I don't want to have to convince you that you should choose me.” Luke leaned into the touch sighing again and then looked up at Nick tears prickling his eyes.
“You don't have to. I already know I should choose you.”
Present Day
“And they lived happily ever after.” Reid closed the notebook once again and set it back on the table looking at Luke expectantly. This was the moment. This was the moment that he lived for every day. This was the moment that determined it all. This was the moment that would make or break the next few minutes.
“Who?” Luke looked at him confused still. “Who did?” Luke was staring at Reid and then something changed in his eyes. It was like a light went on inside of him. Reid was so anxious that he thought his heart might beat right out of his chest. Some might think that everything that he had done up until that point would have been the hard part. That reading the story and having to live it over and over again would be the part that made him almost come apart at the seams. But no it was this. It was this moment when the light goes on inside Luke’s head and he’s waiting. Waiting to see if it will just burn out. Or if it will really take hold as everything comes flooding back. “Oh yes, of course. I remember now.” Luke looks up at Reid eyes brimmed with tears and it’s him. It’s his Luke
Reid got up rushing over to Luke’s side of the table holding his face in his hands as Luke chanted “It was us” over and over again. Both of them had tears streaming down their faces as Reid kept planting kisses on his lips and nose and eyes and everywhere that he could reach. Luke had moved on to chanting Reid’s name then and Reid leaned to kiss Luke squarely on the lips “I love you, Luke.”
Reid stood up and helped Luke up as well and they stood their arms wrapped around each other just savoring the moment. After a few seconds Luke pulled back, “What happened to me?” Reid cupped his cheek.
“Nothing. You just went away for a little while.” Reid hated this part. Hated having to remind Luke why things were the way they were. Hated having to bring something so painful into their moment that only lasted for so long.
“How much time do we have?”
“I'm not sure. Last time it was no more than five minutes.” And it wasn’t enough Reid thought to himself as he stroked Luke’s cheek. It would never be enough but he made do. He had to. Luke mumbled something he couldn’t make out into his shoulder. “Hey, I brought along an old friend.” Reid stepped away for a second to turn on the ipod that was set up on the table. I'll be seeing you started to play out of the small speakers that were set up as Reid reached out his hand as he had done so many years ago and asked his love to dance.
They swayed back and forth to the music for a minute before Luke lifted his head to look at Reid, “How are the children?” Reid smiled trying to keep things light. He didn’t like this part either. He knew how guilty Luke felt for not remembering his own children and hated that even a little of their time was tainted by Luke being sad.
“Oh, they're fine. They were here yesterday.” Luke nodded continuing to sway back and forth with Reid.
“Will you tell them I love them?” Luke paused to look into Reid’s eyes. “And that I'm sorry.” Reid had to bite back the sadness as he nodded.
“I'll tell them.”
“Do you think I could see them?” Luke looked at him excitedly. “If you call them, maybe they could come by.”
“I don't think so.” Reid tried to keep them dancing but Luke had stopped and was looking at him with eyes filled with sadness and guilt and frustration. “Not tonight, baby.”
“Come on, why not?” Luke pushed against Reid’s chest and then stopped. The light had gone out. “Wait a minute...Why did you call me baby?” Luke began to back away from Reid as he kept stepping closer. Wanting to hold onto him for just a few seconds more. “I don't know you. What's going on here?”
“Luke. I love you, stay with me, don't leave...” Luke was getting hysterical now yelling at Reid to get away from him and that he didn’t know him. Reid called for the nurses and they came rushing in to calm Luke down. They injected him with a sedative as they and Reid tried to comfort him with soft voices and reassuring words.
Reid backed away tears streaming down his face again realizing that he was only making it worse and headed to his room. And thinking back now Reid would admit that he was wrong because now he realized that this was the hard part. This was the part that tore him to shreds. This was the part that he dreaded all along. Sometimes he thought that it might be better if Luke didn’t come back to him because then he wouldn’t have to go through this pain over and over again. Picking up the notebook Reid flipped to the title page and read the words that Luke had written years ago:
“The story of our lives”
By
Luke Snyder-Oliver
To my love,
Read this to me and I’ll come back to you
Eventually Reid began living for the moments of lucidity no matter how short they were instead of the moments in between and in the end became just as lost as Luke was. But no one felt sad for them. No one looked at them and wondered what might have been. No one considered them gone no matter how far they drifted. They had lived. And they had loved. Many people had come in and out of their lives over the years. Many people held places in both of their hearts. But through it all they had each other and the love that they had forged one summer so many years ago. And that was enough to carry them. That was enough to turn the mere moments into lifetimes. Lifetimes that they share together in love and in a world all their own that is sealed forever within the pages of the notebook.