I do love..
I'm not being fair to anyone really.. not at all.
One day, you wake up and everything's perfect, nothing seems to be wrong. Everything seems to go your way. And then the next day.. boom, nothing goes right. That's kind of the story of my life. Just when I think I'm finally getting my life back on track, something else happens.. not one thing in particular, just a lot of things. And no matter how hard you try to fix things, it just seems like you can't.
It's time I'm honest with myself and honest with everyone else as well. A guy can't have feelings for more than one person and expect the one he's with to stay with him through it all. That's just not fair to her. *sighs* Love, amazing word, isn't it? I do love, I know I do. But I can't pretend that I don't feel something else as well. I'm going to LA soon, this week in fact. We've got that show coming up and then it's overseas time for us. I just.. I can't help but feel selfish by expecting people to just stick by me like this, through it all. I know what love is, I've experienced it firsthand myself. And there's no denying that I don't love her, the woman I've been with for so long. I just don't feel right going about things the way that I am and I can't help but feel like me being by myself for a while would make things simpler. There's just so much pressure to make things right, and I'm trying to figure out how to do that.. and going about it in a way that's best for everyone, including myself. I don't know, I'm not making a whole lot of sense.
But after reading what AJ put into an entry, I realized he's right. He doesn't feel as close to us anymore, with the exception of Brian. I found that I don't feel as close with any of them at all anymore. It's a horrible feeling, nagging really. We've just been through so much and I feel at odds with everything. I've felt this way for a while.. like we've all grown apart. And when Brian married Leigh, he and I weren't really Frick and Frack anymore. *shrugs* Things change, and so do people. He's mad at me right now too, but who could blame him.. after everything that I've said. I just wanted to apologize, and this goes out to everyone for putting you all through everything that I have for the past week, maybe even longer than that.
Sometimes, you just can't help but feel like you're being pulled in many different directions at once and if you're not careful.. you might just tear apart.
-Nick
One day, you wake up and everything's perfect, nothing seems to be wrong. Everything seems to go your way. And then the next day.. boom, nothing goes right. That's kind of the story of my life. Just when I think I'm finally getting my life back on track, something else happens.. not one thing in particular, just a lot of things. And no matter how hard you try to fix things, it just seems like you can't.
It's time I'm honest with myself and honest with everyone else as well. A guy can't have feelings for more than one person and expect the one he's with to stay with him through it all. That's just not fair to her. *sighs* Love, amazing word, isn't it? I do love, I know I do. But I can't pretend that I don't feel something else as well. I'm going to LA soon, this week in fact. We've got that show coming up and then it's overseas time for us. I just.. I can't help but feel selfish by expecting people to just stick by me like this, through it all. I know what love is, I've experienced it firsthand myself. And there's no denying that I don't love her, the woman I've been with for so long. I just don't feel right going about things the way that I am and I can't help but feel like me being by myself for a while would make things simpler. There's just so much pressure to make things right, and I'm trying to figure out how to do that.. and going about it in a way that's best for everyone, including myself. I don't know, I'm not making a whole lot of sense.
But after reading what AJ put into an entry, I realized he's right. He doesn't feel as close to us anymore, with the exception of Brian. I found that I don't feel as close with any of them at all anymore. It's a horrible feeling, nagging really. We've just been through so much and I feel at odds with everything. I've felt this way for a while.. like we've all grown apart. And when Brian married Leigh, he and I weren't really Frick and Frack anymore. *shrugs* Things change, and so do people. He's mad at me right now too, but who could blame him.. after everything that I've said. I just wanted to apologize, and this goes out to everyone for putting you all through everything that I have for the past week, maybe even longer than that.
Sometimes, you just can't help but feel like you're being pulled in many different directions at once and if you're not careful.. you might just tear apart.
-Nick