YOOOOOO... Joe?
Y'know, I hate to shit on my own childhood memories, but I'm watching G.I.Joe, and I can't help but think: ".... wha?"
I mean, it's nice to sit back and watch and whatnot, but I'm watching, and none of this show makes sense.
- Why does Cobra want to rule the world?
- If Destro's head is made of metal, how does it move?
- How was it grafted onto his body?
- If G.I.Joe is "AMERICA'S" special fighting team, why are there Europeans and Japanese people on it?
- How does Cobra keep getting all these high-end technological buildings? I mean, I can understand buying computer technology on the black market, but how do you buy a 90 story highrise without being noticed?
- How does G.I.Joe keep going anywheres they want, fighting anywhere they want, to destroy Cobra? I mean, UN Sanctions and whatnot, people.
- You always see hundreds upon hundreds of Cobra troops, but rarely (if ever) do you see non-named G.I.Joe members. How does G.I.Joe keep winning when the odds are 50 to 1?
- Knowing their track record, how does Cobra keep hiring those thousands of troops?
- Considering all the back and forth firing, how come no one ever dies? (Watch the movie, not even a direct shot to the heart killed Duke. A DIRECT SHOT TO THE HEART!!!)
(Sidenote: Since I'm watching this on G4, I gotta ask: Who thought making "Transformers: Cybertron" was a good idea? Mixing Anime with CGI, if done Ghost In The Shell style, works beautifully. If done shittastically, like on Cybertron, then ugh.)
Also, I remember when watching this as a kid, I always wanted to see Zartan and The Dreadnaughts more, because they always looked the coolest... but now, as an adult, I'm noticing just how god damn annoying they sound. I mean... UGH! Total pansies, seriously.
I think I'm gonna go eat a can of paint thinner, because these shows are hurting my brain. And cornholing my childhood.
I mean, it's nice to sit back and watch and whatnot, but I'm watching, and none of this show makes sense.
- Why does Cobra want to rule the world?
- If Destro's head is made of metal, how does it move?
- How was it grafted onto his body?
- If G.I.Joe is "AMERICA'S" special fighting team, why are there Europeans and Japanese people on it?
- How does Cobra keep getting all these high-end technological buildings? I mean, I can understand buying computer technology on the black market, but how do you buy a 90 story highrise without being noticed?
- How does G.I.Joe keep going anywheres they want, fighting anywhere they want, to destroy Cobra? I mean, UN Sanctions and whatnot, people.
- You always see hundreds upon hundreds of Cobra troops, but rarely (if ever) do you see non-named G.I.Joe members. How does G.I.Joe keep winning when the odds are 50 to 1?
- Knowing their track record, how does Cobra keep hiring those thousands of troops?
- Considering all the back and forth firing, how come no one ever dies? (Watch the movie, not even a direct shot to the heart killed Duke. A DIRECT SHOT TO THE HEART!!!)
(Sidenote: Since I'm watching this on G4, I gotta ask: Who thought making "Transformers: Cybertron" was a good idea? Mixing Anime with CGI, if done Ghost In The Shell style, works beautifully. If done shittastically, like on Cybertron, then ugh.)
Also, I remember when watching this as a kid, I always wanted to see Zartan and The Dreadnaughts more, because they always looked the coolest... but now, as an adult, I'm noticing just how god damn annoying they sound. I mean... UGH! Total pansies, seriously.
I think I'm gonna go eat a can of paint thinner, because these shows are hurting my brain. And cornholing my childhood.