Comments | nicis_anatomy: [Drabble] Paris

nicis_anatomy

[Drabble] Paris - City of Clichés

Apr 19, 2010 06:56

TITLE: Paris - City of Clichés
AUTHOR: nicis_anatomy
CHARACTER: Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo
GENRE: Het, Romance, episode tag for 7.13 "Jetlag"
RATING: PG
WORD COUNT: 200
SUMMARY: Paris is not only the 'City of Lights' it’s also a city full of clichés, and Tony and Ziva live each and everyone of them … Written for prompt #20 "AC" for drabble123 and challenge #053 " ( Read more... )

fandom: ncis, ncis: tony_ziva, community: ncisdrabble100, fanart: drabble, community: drabble123

Comments 10

xo_angel_xox April 19 2010, 07:17:19 UTC

Just the last sentence would do well with some tweaking.
I think you should move the word 'had' further in front so the sentence reads: And never before had something so wrong felt so right...

Just a suggestion though, you can keep it that way if you want to - it still makes sense.

Great job Nici! I loved it!

nicis_anatomy April 19 2010, 07:28:16 UTC

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it ;)

The last sentence ... hm, I did this on purpose. In German we sometimes move words around (change the order) to highlight the meaning. Though, I don't know, if this is common use in English (or even allowed/possible) ...

xo_angel_xox April 19 2010, 07:32:54 UTC

I guess you can, but for me it just didn't seem to roll off the tongue as well and I had to re-read the last sentence a few times because I couldn't quite wrap my head around it, you know what I mean?
That's why I said it's okay if you keep it as it is if you want. :)

nicis_anatomy April 19 2010, 07:36:59 UTC

Yes, I know what you mean. You're right. I will change it. Thanks ;)

katie087 April 19 2010, 08:18:05 UTC

Yay! My favourite pairing :D
Nice work.
And Ziva and Tony pretending it never happened. That is so them :)

nicis_anatomy April 19 2010, 10:41:07 UTC

I know ;) And I'm glad you liked it. Thank you! *hugs*

nakeisha April 19 2010, 09:56:23 UTC

I really like this.

The whole take on it all being a cliché and how Ziva would normally mind, but she didn't.

It was Paris . . . So good.

This I feel really is what happened.

nicis_anatomy April 19 2010, 10:44:58 UTC

I'm glad you do, Nikki. Thank you very much ;)
I always felt this 'only one room/one bed' thing was a cliché and if someone had used this in a story I'm sure there would've been a few readers rolling eyes, because it is such an easy/uncomplicated/convenient setting to get two people together. But somehow the writers in tv shows always get away with it ;) Ever since I saw the episode I wanted to write something about this and last night I finally did it *g*

I'm still not sure, if this happened or not, but it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened that way ;)

ami_ven April 20 2010, 06:38:09 UTC

Wonderful! In fact, absolutely perfect ;)

nicis_anatomy April 20 2010, 10:47:00 UTC

Really? Oh. Wow ... Thank you very much ;)