tear me from the bone, tear me from myself, are you feeling happy now?
"SOLguitarist: its more than that and if thats your mindset, you are losing this race... SOLguitarist: freedom, gone! out the door forever"
SOLguitarist: I hate to be the pessimistic bitch here but, are you fucking serious about this shit? I honestly think you are not thinking properly here...
SOLguitarist: I dont think you know what youre doing
SOLguitarist: marriage is a huge step here
SOLguitarist: you make your own decision
SOLguitarist: im not gonna do it for ya
SOLguitarist: you think long and hard about it
SOLguitarist: think about this worlds divorce rate... are you gonna live life until you are dead with this person?
SOLguitarist: I think you would be the most miserablest person in the world after about 3 months of the new wearing off of it
SOLguitarist: because i know you
SOLguitarist: he isn't your style of person
tim is the reason i still stand here today, so naturally, everything he says i take to heart because even tho i know part of what he says is for his own benefit, i also know that the bigger part is out of wanting what's best for me.
but i never thought to reconsider once i knew he was serious. but what if tim's right? i mean, that boy does know me really well. idk. 3 of my boys were happy, tim makes the 8th that's not. 4 girls were happy, 3 not. but i'm happy. doesn't that account for the most? but i don't want to fuck up our lives. especially his. mine, whatever, i reconstruct constantly, but i need to do what's best for him more so than myself.
as for the moving to dallas thing, dad's cheap shot yesterday is still kinda getting to me. grampa is taking tia gloria with, she's always wanted to move back down. but he wants me to take him around.. or so dad said he said. i'd do anything my grampa asked me to ..with very few exceptions. but ..i've established my life here, and at the moment i have no desire to be anywhere else.
..till i step outside and it's like 10 below. but still. it's chicago, it doesn't get better. i dunno. i got lots to think about. and giving up my reign at nocturna ..may be more difficult than i thought. gotta think about that. and now that mi hija isn't here i can think about not signing with the blood suckers. then skewl, gotta think about whether i wanna finish in summer or fall, and i'm thinkin about leavin this job and just doing weekends and going somewhere else once our summer hours start. guess i gotta figure out life, and some time soon.
this weekend, i have a game plan. b was talkin bout lip service, and i just spent like a grand on clothes, but when everything is like ..80 for a shirt and 200-400 for a good outfit, it goes quick. so we're going to the attic, and to HiP then i wanna go to tower, then VNV Nation will be here in April so gotta get tix for that, and that'll be saturday. then we're going to neo, my new hot spot. coming home around 5-ish, then it's church for me. how ..almost hypocritical. but i need it. and sunday will be a family day. monday sleeping the frick in. i kinda wanna go to brad's but that boy won't let me sleep and after this weekend.. i'm gonna need it so we'll see.
i'm tired. last of the people just left, so i think i'mma close.. an hour and a half early. o well. i need a nap. adios journal.
SOLguitarist: I hate to be the pessimistic bitch here but, are you fucking serious about this shit? I honestly think you are not thinking properly here...
SOLguitarist: I dont think you know what youre doing
SOLguitarist: marriage is a huge step here
SOLguitarist: you make your own decision
SOLguitarist: im not gonna do it for ya
SOLguitarist: you think long and hard about it
SOLguitarist: think about this worlds divorce rate... are you gonna live life until you are dead with this person?
SOLguitarist: I think you would be the most miserablest person in the world after about 3 months of the new wearing off of it
SOLguitarist: because i know you
SOLguitarist: he isn't your style of person
tim is the reason i still stand here today, so naturally, everything he says i take to heart because even tho i know part of what he says is for his own benefit, i also know that the bigger part is out of wanting what's best for me.
but i never thought to reconsider once i knew he was serious. but what if tim's right? i mean, that boy does know me really well. idk. 3 of my boys were happy, tim makes the 8th that's not. 4 girls were happy, 3 not. but i'm happy. doesn't that account for the most? but i don't want to fuck up our lives. especially his. mine, whatever, i reconstruct constantly, but i need to do what's best for him more so than myself.
as for the moving to dallas thing, dad's cheap shot yesterday is still kinda getting to me. grampa is taking tia gloria with, she's always wanted to move back down. but he wants me to take him around.. or so dad said he said. i'd do anything my grampa asked me to ..with very few exceptions. but ..i've established my life here, and at the moment i have no desire to be anywhere else.
..till i step outside and it's like 10 below. but still. it's chicago, it doesn't get better. i dunno. i got lots to think about. and giving up my reign at nocturna ..may be more difficult than i thought. gotta think about that. and now that mi hija isn't here i can think about not signing with the blood suckers. then skewl, gotta think about whether i wanna finish in summer or fall, and i'm thinkin about leavin this job and just doing weekends and going somewhere else once our summer hours start. guess i gotta figure out life, and some time soon.
this weekend, i have a game plan. b was talkin bout lip service, and i just spent like a grand on clothes, but when everything is like ..80 for a shirt and 200-400 for a good outfit, it goes quick. so we're going to the attic, and to HiP then i wanna go to tower, then VNV Nation will be here in April so gotta get tix for that, and that'll be saturday. then we're going to neo, my new hot spot. coming home around 5-ish, then it's church for me. how ..almost hypocritical. but i need it. and sunday will be a family day. monday sleeping the frick in. i kinda wanna go to brad's but that boy won't let me sleep and after this weekend.. i'm gonna need it so we'll see.
i'm tired. last of the people just left, so i think i'mma close.. an hour and a half early. o well. i need a nap. adios journal.