Oh, Danny boy...

[nichols_zach_ci]

[an email from Nichols to Ross. Seriously.]

To:  daniel.ross@nypd.nyc.gov
From: z.nichols@nypd.nyc.gov
Subject: STAT, ASAP, and any other important sounding acronyms - having a personal crisis here

Did you know that Det. Logan has apparently had relations - and I use that term very seriously - with just about anything with legs in this city? To include

Comments

[nichols_zach_ci]

Re:Re: I'll never win, will I?

Hey now, I was content on hiatus. Granted, I do enjoy a paycheck. Still, my point is that you plucked me from that content island of hiatus. You brought the drama upon yourself, Danny boy.

1. This is where your number system fails because this causes number 1 and number 3 to collide. If I copy Skoda, then he will charge a fee. This requires - nevermind. I'm not explaining this to you. Clearly you've never needed that man for a professional consult.

2. Right. And you technically wouldn't be hiring me a girlfriend. You'd be hiring someone to fill the empty desk. Now, if that someone happens to meet a list of specifications - namely "Logan hasn't been there" - and courting ensues, then joyous day for all. No harm, no foul.

3. See number 1.

4. (Because number 3 is pointless now, and I have an additional statement for number 2.) If, for some reason, this plan backfires and you happen to get fired, then I nominate Eames to be my Captain. Well, the department Captain. If she was just my personal Captain, that would be awkward on a number of levels.

5. .......on second thought, portions of number 4 further support my reasoning for emailing you in the first place. I mean, really, I spend the majority of my time with blatantly unavailable but highly attractive females. It's just not right or healthy - well, for me, it's healthy for Connie and the baby, but not for me.

[lao_npc]

Re: Mmm. Nope.

1. I understand Skoda's system quite well.
2. Does the phrase "conflict of interest" mean anything to you?
4. See #3.
5. ..........I don't...even want...to know....