I hate these feelings...
I am soo scared.. I need help, I need someone to tell me what to do and where to go.. I went from an "Yes, definitely.. I can't wait!!" to a simple, "Maybe, we'll see." Why does this always happen to me? Where do I go wrong? I put everything I have into my relationships and I end up getting hurt..
He says nothings wrong.. he says nothing is going to happen to us.. but something already has.. there's more to this that what he is telling me.. he used to be here every single day.. he would do everything he could to get out here and see me.. and suddenly in the past half a week he has not been the same.. he has been sick, and yes, I understand that.. he got hurt, yes, I understand that too.. but theres more too it than that.. it's not the same.. something is wrong.. the phone call last night said it all.. we got fighting, well sort of.. he was being a jerk and I was sad.. then he calls back to apologize and ends up trying to tell me that he's afraid of getting sick of me.. I am sorry but the truth is that if you really love someone you will never ever get sick of them or anything they do.. I could never get sick of Rudy, not in a million years.. but apparently it's not the same for him towards me.. and I hate knowing that.. I would do anything in this world to hold onto him.. I can't write anymore right now.. my heart hurts and I am scared.
He says nothings wrong.. he says nothing is going to happen to us.. but something already has.. there's more to this that what he is telling me.. he used to be here every single day.. he would do everything he could to get out here and see me.. and suddenly in the past half a week he has not been the same.. he has been sick, and yes, I understand that.. he got hurt, yes, I understand that too.. but theres more too it than that.. it's not the same.. something is wrong.. the phone call last night said it all.. we got fighting, well sort of.. he was being a jerk and I was sad.. then he calls back to apologize and ends up trying to tell me that he's afraid of getting sick of me.. I am sorry but the truth is that if you really love someone you will never ever get sick of them or anything they do.. I could never get sick of Rudy, not in a million years.. but apparently it's not the same for him towards me.. and I hate knowing that.. I would do anything in this world to hold onto him.. I can't write anymore right now.. my heart hurts and I am scared.