(no subject)
"you have been sprinting to middle age"
yes i have been. i grew up while i was still in middle school. while most were off playing with their friends, i was doing my laundry. while most were washing their hands for dinner, i was making mine. while most are looking for fun and exciting relationships, im looking for possible life-partners. while most are figuring out what they want to do today, im figuring out what to do to keep all my money.
honestly, my up-bringing and my money have forced me to be this way. i started being independent in 2nd grade, and i havent been able to stop ever since. my mom once borrowed $16 from me for getting mcdonalds after a soccer game and forgot to pay me back until 3 months later. i was about 9. i faced death for a few months when i was 10. before i was in high school i would every so often have to buy my own dinners when we felt like going out to eat. when i was 15 a friend of mine died. by 17 i had a drivers license and nary drove as a passenger with my parents afterwards. right after 19 i owned my own car fully paid off, insurance and all. i moved out of my house into an apartment at the same time. i dont ask my parents for money, they ask me for it. almost a year ago my dad had to borrow $5000 from me to help with the family house. i take care of all the bills and head the house im renting. i highly considered putting a mortgage on a house after this lease is up. ive meticulously argued the pros and cons of going back to college. im postulating building a small business. i did my own taxes, only being told where to find what id need.
i dont know what my hurry is. i just know if i get it all done and set now, that leaves the rest of my life to do what i truly want. if i dont fuck around now, i can get whats important done now, and not waste any time.
i feel alone in my own house. its 5 in the morning, i spent the whole day with people, 2 close friends are sleeping over right now, and i still feel alone. only late at night and when im very frustrated do i let on what goes on in my mind.
and yet in the end of all of this sharing, i am still happy, because i know that my life has never been terrible, i have always been able to handle myself well.
my life has never been a bed of roses, but my life has never been a bed of nails, either. isnt it funny; you could be the luckiest person ever, and youd still have problems.
yes i have been. i grew up while i was still in middle school. while most were off playing with their friends, i was doing my laundry. while most were washing their hands for dinner, i was making mine. while most are looking for fun and exciting relationships, im looking for possible life-partners. while most are figuring out what they want to do today, im figuring out what to do to keep all my money.
honestly, my up-bringing and my money have forced me to be this way. i started being independent in 2nd grade, and i havent been able to stop ever since. my mom once borrowed $16 from me for getting mcdonalds after a soccer game and forgot to pay me back until 3 months later. i was about 9. i faced death for a few months when i was 10. before i was in high school i would every so often have to buy my own dinners when we felt like going out to eat. when i was 15 a friend of mine died. by 17 i had a drivers license and nary drove as a passenger with my parents afterwards. right after 19 i owned my own car fully paid off, insurance and all. i moved out of my house into an apartment at the same time. i dont ask my parents for money, they ask me for it. almost a year ago my dad had to borrow $5000 from me to help with the family house. i take care of all the bills and head the house im renting. i highly considered putting a mortgage on a house after this lease is up. ive meticulously argued the pros and cons of going back to college. im postulating building a small business. i did my own taxes, only being told where to find what id need.
i dont know what my hurry is. i just know if i get it all done and set now, that leaves the rest of my life to do what i truly want. if i dont fuck around now, i can get whats important done now, and not waste any time.
i feel alone in my own house. its 5 in the morning, i spent the whole day with people, 2 close friends are sleeping over right now, and i still feel alone. only late at night and when im very frustrated do i let on what goes on in my mind.
and yet in the end of all of this sharing, i am still happy, because i know that my life has never been terrible, i have always been able to handle myself well.
my life has never been a bed of roses, but my life has never been a bed of nails, either. isnt it funny; you could be the luckiest person ever, and youd still have problems.