Everything was closed on Coney Island but I could not help from smilin
Today has ended up being emotionally draining. I said too much to someone... I watched Black Swan. I thought it was going a cool ballet movie, which it is, but I was not warned that it would take a lot of my heart and fling it around and eventually let it fall to the floor then walk away leaving it neither discarded or cared for.
Now, a lot of people probably won't get that from the movie. But it really got to me for some reason. Possibly it was because I was feeling emotionally retarded from an awkward ending conversation with someone.
But I saw a lot me myself in the character. Well, though the Nichole you know now is a chubby foodaholic, growing up I was a ballerina and was quite skinny and under a lot of pressure to be that way.
Since I can remember I was told to watch what I eat (with is hard to do with an Acadian mom. Acadians are like Italians in the way that they reallllly like to feed people). But on the other hand, my dad was a super sporty guy who trained all his life, had his golden gloves for boxing in the Canada games, and in a really intimidating guy. Think, scary like Tony Soprano, only with the strength to bench press a full grown man. So I grew up with a man all about the fitness and a mom who was all about making me eat and eat and eat. Once I hit university and stopped dancing everything just kind of piled on.
I guess Black Swan just made me remember the pressure to be perfect. I have long since really cared about that. I'm usually happy with my shape now. But I can still remember growing up with that stress.
And well, now, I'm on a Death Cab for Cutie kick. My fuck.
All in all I wish I read what I typed on MSN before I typed it sometimes. Not just for my very frequent typos, but because I just say whatever it is I'm thinking. Most times, no one should ever know what I'm thinking.
~Nichole
Now, a lot of people probably won't get that from the movie. But it really got to me for some reason. Possibly it was because I was feeling emotionally retarded from an awkward ending conversation with someone.
But I saw a lot me myself in the character. Well, though the Nichole you know now is a chubby foodaholic, growing up I was a ballerina and was quite skinny and under a lot of pressure to be that way.
Since I can remember I was told to watch what I eat (with is hard to do with an Acadian mom. Acadians are like Italians in the way that they reallllly like to feed people). But on the other hand, my dad was a super sporty guy who trained all his life, had his golden gloves for boxing in the Canada games, and in a really intimidating guy. Think, scary like Tony Soprano, only with the strength to bench press a full grown man. So I grew up with a man all about the fitness and a mom who was all about making me eat and eat and eat. Once I hit university and stopped dancing everything just kind of piled on.
I guess Black Swan just made me remember the pressure to be perfect. I have long since really cared about that. I'm usually happy with my shape now. But I can still remember growing up with that stress.
And well, now, I'm on a Death Cab for Cutie kick. My fuck.
All in all I wish I read what I typed on MSN before I typed it sometimes. Not just for my very frequent typos, but because I just say whatever it is I'm thinking. Most times, no one should ever know what I'm thinking.
~Nichole