It's been 40 years sice I've been on Livejoural.
I mean, I haven't even been checking shit out here. Completely unlike me, but I suppose a lot of things which are "like me" have been changing or readjusting themselves in the last few months. One, obvious one, being that I am really, rarely online anymore. Yes, twitter is my exception and my crack, but I can update that with my phone so there you go.
Things that have change dare small like, well, I basically live at Ryan's now. He's given half his dresser for my "staying over" things. That started out really practically for weekends when I just wouldn't want to walk down the road to shower and put on new underwear to only come back here and laze about with him. I now have a large portion of hygiene and make up products, about 15 shirts, a few pairs of pants, my hair dryer, 2 jackets, a few scarves... We do our wash together. Like, I said, I basically live here. The main difference is I still pay rent for down the street. I like the comfort of having my "own" apartment so that if things ended up going South, I wouldn't be out on the street or in an awkward situation. I mean, if I broke up with him, even us living on the same street would be awkward... Couldn't imagine being in the same place until one of us found another place...
But, despite that, I am really really warming up to the idea of living with him. Things that seemed to separate us so much months ago don't seem to matter to us that much anymore. We're both adjusting to each other. My with his chain smoking and loving god and "traditional" views. And he's getting better with trying to see my point of view from my liberal, hippy, feminist, socialist mind. And, what I thought was an almost impossible task at the beginning is actually getting to be a fairly easy day-to-day life.
We both challenge each other to think in ways that we wouldn't normally do. I'm learning that my way of thinking isn't always the best (though any sort of reminiscing of a drunken night from my 20-21's should have provided me with the knowledge that I don't always know what's best for myself). I don't know, I am just in a very happy place with him right now. We have a cozy home and are really good to each other with both of us always wanting to take care of the other.
Now, if I could convince him into a two bedroom so I can have some "Nichole Space" where I can throw up old movie posters and keep my guitar, computer, and art stuff there, I'd be the happiest girl.
Every fall, I get really nostalgic for every really happy time in my life. I go for walks; crunching the leaves, drinking pumpkin tea, and zoning out of everything that's happening right now. Though, if you know me, I'm sure its not a stretch to picture my as a nostalgic person. I really treasure my memories. They keep me focused when I don't know where I'm going next.
Maybe it's the smell. Every time the air cools off and I get the faint smell of salt from the harbour and the must of leaves starting to decay I think of everything beginning again. Could be form school starting in the fall, new, warm clothes, streets being busier while new students come to town, maybe even because 4 of my 6 last relationships happened in the fall. Who knows? It's just always been an exciting time of year.
I just can't stop thinking about Earthbound walks, laying in that open field under the stars, going to see shitty bands at local shows, high school drama over the smallest things, being giddy for Halloween with my family (as Halloween is 10 times bigger than Xmas in my house), drinks in my old res. apartment, kissing a very beautiful boy the first time (still one of the most nervous moments of my life), then other things like Wendy's missions for 1000 different Jr. bacon's (still the best thing at Wendy's), too many Guinness cupcakes, carrying drunk friends home in a snow storm, meeting a dear friend in the rain and becoming connected to him more than ever, meeting my soul mate (didn't work out romantically but so nice to know that the one person who really knows me without saying a word does, in fact, exist).
I could go on and on and on. But Autumn brings me so much comfort even when things are sad. I really do miss those times and I miss a lot of the people I'm not close with anymore. But I guess, in another five years, I"ll be looking back at shit i did now and missing those people and those times.
I tend to hang out with Ryan's friends lately, we have a lot of "Acadian Nights" where it's just a bunch of Acadians hangin out and bring french... We play music, or cook, or drink, and last time we went midnight bowling (which was awesome).
Times are good but I'm always going to miss my past. I guess that's a problem of mine, I can never focus on my future so I focus on my past, like I was some sort of genius planner back then. Oh well, a day at a time I suppose.
Well, there you go LJ, hopefully that'll quell your hunger for a while.
~Nichole
Things that have change dare small like, well, I basically live at Ryan's now. He's given half his dresser for my "staying over" things. That started out really practically for weekends when I just wouldn't want to walk down the road to shower and put on new underwear to only come back here and laze about with him. I now have a large portion of hygiene and make up products, about 15 shirts, a few pairs of pants, my hair dryer, 2 jackets, a few scarves... We do our wash together. Like, I said, I basically live here. The main difference is I still pay rent for down the street. I like the comfort of having my "own" apartment so that if things ended up going South, I wouldn't be out on the street or in an awkward situation. I mean, if I broke up with him, even us living on the same street would be awkward... Couldn't imagine being in the same place until one of us found another place...
But, despite that, I am really really warming up to the idea of living with him. Things that seemed to separate us so much months ago don't seem to matter to us that much anymore. We're both adjusting to each other. My with his chain smoking and loving god and "traditional" views. And he's getting better with trying to see my point of view from my liberal, hippy, feminist, socialist mind. And, what I thought was an almost impossible task at the beginning is actually getting to be a fairly easy day-to-day life.
We both challenge each other to think in ways that we wouldn't normally do. I'm learning that my way of thinking isn't always the best (though any sort of reminiscing of a drunken night from my 20-21's should have provided me with the knowledge that I don't always know what's best for myself). I don't know, I am just in a very happy place with him right now. We have a cozy home and are really good to each other with both of us always wanting to take care of the other.
Now, if I could convince him into a two bedroom so I can have some "Nichole Space" where I can throw up old movie posters and keep my guitar, computer, and art stuff there, I'd be the happiest girl.
Every fall, I get really nostalgic for every really happy time in my life. I go for walks; crunching the leaves, drinking pumpkin tea, and zoning out of everything that's happening right now. Though, if you know me, I'm sure its not a stretch to picture my as a nostalgic person. I really treasure my memories. They keep me focused when I don't know where I'm going next.
Maybe it's the smell. Every time the air cools off and I get the faint smell of salt from the harbour and the must of leaves starting to decay I think of everything beginning again. Could be form school starting in the fall, new, warm clothes, streets being busier while new students come to town, maybe even because 4 of my 6 last relationships happened in the fall. Who knows? It's just always been an exciting time of year.
I just can't stop thinking about Earthbound walks, laying in that open field under the stars, going to see shitty bands at local shows, high school drama over the smallest things, being giddy for Halloween with my family (as Halloween is 10 times bigger than Xmas in my house), drinks in my old res. apartment, kissing a very beautiful boy the first time (still one of the most nervous moments of my life), then other things like Wendy's missions for 1000 different Jr. bacon's (still the best thing at Wendy's), too many Guinness cupcakes, carrying drunk friends home in a snow storm, meeting a dear friend in the rain and becoming connected to him more than ever, meeting my soul mate (didn't work out romantically but so nice to know that the one person who really knows me without saying a word does, in fact, exist).
I could go on and on and on. But Autumn brings me so much comfort even when things are sad. I really do miss those times and I miss a lot of the people I'm not close with anymore. But I guess, in another five years, I"ll be looking back at shit i did now and missing those people and those times.
I tend to hang out with Ryan's friends lately, we have a lot of "Acadian Nights" where it's just a bunch of Acadians hangin out and bring french... We play music, or cook, or drink, and last time we went midnight bowling (which was awesome).
Times are good but I'm always going to miss my past. I guess that's a problem of mine, I can never focus on my future so I focus on my past, like I was some sort of genius planner back then. Oh well, a day at a time I suppose.
Well, there you go LJ, hopefully that'll quell your hunger for a while.
~Nichole