fic - i am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself ; P/R. || R.
Title: You Swore You Saw Yourself
Fandom: Glee.
Pairings/Characters: Puck/Rachel, appearances by Finn, Kurt, Sue and Mrs. Puckerman.
Genre: Friendship/Romance.
Rating: R.
Summary: He almost lost his shit when she told him her favorite movie was Lethal Weapon. When she followed that up with asking if he wanted some blueberry pie he made the official decision that Rachel Berry? Was fucking awesome.
****
They had become friends after Sectionals. Nobody was talking to her (besides Matt and Mike who were indifferent); most of the club seemed to think she ruined everything by opening her mouth. (But what else was new?) Nobody was talking to him because, well, he had been a douche.
It was two weeks after Sectionals that he realized that Rachel Berry was probably the only person besides his mom and sister that knew him enough to know that he wasn't. (He thinks that has to mean something.)
So he asks if the whole friends offer still stands and she beams at him, and he's a little confused about why he smiled back. He doesn't usually smile.
-----
It takes him exactly a day of being friends with Rachel to realize that she's actually a pretty cool chick. She's not literally crazy. Just like, intense. She even listens to more than just musicals and Xtina. She likes shit besides music, too, which he never would have fucking guessed. He always figured that a Rachel Berry without music was a dead Rachel Berry. One could not exist without the other.
That was until they went at least a day without her mentioning music, or glee, or Kristen Chenoweth. (He was kind of worried that she was like, broken or something.)
He almost lost his shit when she told him her favorite movie was Lethal Weapon. When she followed that up with asking if he wanted some blueberry pie he made the official decision that Rachel Berry? Was fucking awesome.
-----
They eat lunch together now which should be weird but isn't. They started off in the cafeteria but between everyone glaring at Rachel (Seriously, why did the entire school hate this chick?) and Finn glaring at Puck while looking longingly at Rachel (He doesn't understand why that pisses him off so much) they decided to just eat on the bleachers.
He thought it was pretty sweet that they took this place that had been kind of a bad place for them and made it like, their fucking sanctuary or some shit. He brings Red Vines occasionally 'cause she loves that shit but only agrees to eat it like, once a week because she will legit eat the whole. fucking. bag. When he asks why she didn't want any once and she said something about her figure which he told her is fucked up 'cause her figure is hot. She always brings in some sort of awesome baked good that she made the night before and gives it to him, and he always forces her to eat some of it. He's pretty sure she secretly is grateful for that which totally amuses him. If she's forced to eat something, she can't whine about ruining her figure. He did.
He's never missed a lunch with her. She's only missed one (for a Doctor's appointment her fathers scheduled) and he sought her out the next period when she got back, itching for one of her cupcakes. She started acting like she didn't know why he was there and teasing him about not having one, and he couldn't deal so he searched her.
He realized about three bites into his huge-ass cupcake that she was flirting with him. He wondered if she realized it (for some reason that was really important for him to know).
-----
He breaks his mother's heart when he tells her about the baby, but Rach told him it was the right thing to do. (He doesn't know when he started believing like, everything that came out of her mouth).
His mother is furious. It takes two days for her to actually speak to him. When he tells her that Quinn doesn't want him to be a part of the baby's life, told her that she thought he'd always be a Lima Loser, he tries not to meet her eyes.
"Well, then she's an idiot," his mother says dismissively. "A true idiot. Is that why you're not with Rachel anymore?" She asks, curious. "You know, that young woman thinks you'll go places," She nods. "So will she."
Puck tries not to roll his eyes. "No. That's not why. Rachel doesn't feel that way about me, 'Ma. She's," he pauses. "We're friends. She's… my best friend."
His mother has this look in her eye that's like a secret. "I'm glad you have her, Noah," she says. "She's a wonderful girl."
"Yeah," Puck murmurs. His mother's eyes have a glint to them while she watches him eat his potatoes.
"And she's Jewish!" Mrs. Puckerman says with relish from the kitchen door. "Oh, Noah, couldn't you have slept with her instead?"
"Jesus, 'Ma!"
"Noah Elijah, I know you did not just speak like that in front of your mother," she throws him a scathing look. Fuck. "You're grounded. Two weeks, no visitors." she says with authority. She puts her plate in the sink (he takes the hint - do the dishes).
"Oh, but Rachel may visit as much as she likes!" She throws over her shoulder as she leaves, and he just laughs. Woman is nuts.
-----
They re-watch the Lethal Weapon movies together during his grounding, and once they're through with those they move on to others. She always makes a different type of popcorn (cheddar, caramel, peanut butter, ranch, and a mind-blowing cookies and fucking cream) and he always makes sure Sarah gets exactly none on the days that she's stupid enough to bug him when Rach is over.
When the grounding is over he finds himself kind of missing it. They decide to do a weekly movie night, which usually would be totally lame except who wouldn't do it for some of that popcorn? Shit, he can't be held responsible for his food cravings. (He fights the thought that it's a Rachel craving and locks it away.)
-----
She goes to the theatre with Finn once. Puck was really fucking confused by the annoying feeling in his stomach and the taste in his mouth. He sits on the Berry's porch for two hours waiting for her to get back. When she pulls in (they drove separate cars) and they walk inside, she tells him she hopes he wasn't waiting long. He shrugs and says that it's cool; he just got there like two minutes ago.
Her dad is grinning at him all knowingly and shit and he wishes he could ask the dude what the fuck he knows and if he could explain all this shit that's going on in his head to him.
It's when he sees Finn kiss her for the first time and automatically punches a locker that he realizes that maybe he might not have only friendly feelings for her.
When she pulls away real fast with this 'I'm sorry' look on her face he's pretty sure he's never been more relieved.
-----
When Quinn lost the baby he kind of broke. He wouldn't talk or acknowledge the fact that yep, he was fucking crying.
Her small hand slipped into his and he felt instant warmth. He choked out a sob as she pulled his head to her chest. She didn't tell him it would be okay because she knew that wouldn't help and for a while it wouldn't be.
She didn't make him talk about it or ask him every five minutes if he was okay, and he thinks that's because she knew he wasn't. He kind of likes that.
She stays with him all night and for the most part it's quiet. When he notices that she had been crying too, he loves her for it. He asks what's wrong, and she shrugs and smiles weakly and says, "I just wish I could bring her back for you."
His chest feels all tight as he looks at the honesty on her face and realizes that nobody's ever given as much shit about him as this tiny girl in front of him does.
------
They're walking down the hall a week later when some douche on the hockey team is running his mouth about how his baby girl was lucky she hadn't been born to a loser Jew and an overrated Christian. "Imagine how fucked up their kid'd be," he laughs.
He was about to punch the guy out but Rachel beat him to it. He watched open-mouthed as she punched the guy in the face (girl is a fucking mystery) and threatened the dude while berating him about what a douche he was. Puck's pretty sure the second part scared the asshole more than the punch (which was fucking terrifying, too).
The dude looks at his teammates who are all looking at him and kind of snickering and is stupid enough to say, "Whatever, Ru Paul."
She beat him to that punch, too. (He made it up to the douche bag later.)
-----
He wakes up at two in the morning after having a dream about Rachel. He knows it's a dream because contrary to what he's previously told the McKinley High population, chick does not actually hide in boys' closets. Also, it's a Thursday and she only wears jeans on the weekends. (He loves weekends.)
Dream Rachel climbs through his window (again) with her tight jeans and her tight shirt and her tight body looking all secretive (it's so beyond hot) and smiles at him, and he knows she thinks he's sleeping.
She kisses his forehead and he feels his heartbeat speed up. He wills himself to fight off the pull of the pussy. He knows people that have fallen for Rachel Berry's crazy ass trap. He will not become some love-struck dope.
The dream shifts and she's hiding under his bed when he comes home from the pool, she thought he was his mom. He hops up and sits on the edge of his bed, and she's wearing his favorite fucking skirt (it makes him so hot). It's the one she wore when she was cleaning Slushy off his lame ass. She hadn't noticed his hard on at the time but it was there. Her skirt was especially short that day and he remembered teasing her about how she'd worn it just for him, hadn't she? She'd just blushed and hit him playfully.
It was the lip biting that gave her away. (He got off good after putting that in the rotation.)
So she's got that skirt on and he sits next to her. Then she folds her knees together, like she's trying to make sure he can't see up her skirt even though he's like twelve feet taller than she is and sitting next to her, not on the floor. Then for some reason he's kissing her neck and crazy just pounces on his ass and he's sure he's never been more turned on. She's straddling his lap and he's just as aware as he was the first time she was on his lap wearing this skirt that it's too short to cover her like this, and it's riding up her thighs (just like his hands) so he knows that there's only her panties and his swim trunks keeping his junk from touching hers. This launches him into wondering what type of panties she's hiding under that tiny skirt. She's getting him so hot and she's fucking gorgeous with her full, pink, bruised lips and he loves that he made them that way. She's making this mewling noise and he wants her.
The dream is changing again. He's sitting behind the bleachers with her, and she's looking adorable and sexy at the same time (which he used to think was impossible - until her). He kisses her face and she laughs and says 'I love you' and he grins and tells her the same. The feeling in his stomach is awesome and he knows she put it there. He loves it, this feeling.
Then they're on her bed in her fucking Polly Pocket versus Strawberry Shortcake bedroom and she's half naked and breathy when she says, "No, I want this. I want you." And fuck, how is he supposed to say no? He kisses her again, smiling all the while.
He's thrusting into her but something is different about this. It's not off, it's not bad - it's a good different, one he can't explain. He watches her and she looks so good. She's moaning and then she tells him she loves him and he comes.
Then he wakes up. He's pretty sure this dream is a huge fucking problem.
He thinks he should be more annoyed.
--
The first time someone called him 'Puck' he punched the douche in the face and said, "My name is Noah, asshole."
It was reflexive. Instinctive. When his mother came to the principal office to find out the details, she recognized his outburst for what it meant (do not confuse me with the man who made my mother miserable).
Yeah, so 'Noah' makes him sound like a total pussy. He doesn't give a shit.
(It's the name his mom gave him - the one that matters. She's the hero in this story.)
He was fourteen when he saw his mom cry for the first time, besides their traditional Jew guilt trip slash movie night. She was clutching a necklace and sobbing.
She's the strongest person he's ever met and for a minute he didn't understand how she could cry. It almost seems like that wasn't a capability for her. She's tough. She carries all of her problems, and his, and Sarah's. She has the weight of the world on her shoulders and doesn't even blink.
He hugged her and wiped the tears from her eyes awkwardly. It's what she did for him when his dad left. "You're too pretty to cry like that, 'Ma," he joked half-heartedly.
"Crying is good for the soul, Noah," she smiled at him. "Crying is healing. I'm just trying to heal."
She fell asleep on his shoulder (she had worked over her hours because her replacement hadn't shown). He folded her into the couch and laid a blanket over her, tucking it under her chin.
"Love you, 'Ma," he said, kissing her forehead. He watched as a small smile appears on her face. He promised himself he'd work harder to make that smile bigger, and permanent.
When Rachel Berry calls him 'Puck' it sounds wrong. He doesn't understand it - he is Puck. He created Puck; he became Puck.
Maybe that's why it sounds so off.
Maybe it's because she knows that Puck is just the douche that doesn't give a shit about anyone and threw Slushies on her, and Noah is the boy that told her he wanted to see Niagara falls before he turned twenty-three when they played twenty questions. Noah is the boy that cried and clung to her when his baby girl died, and stopped teasing her to make her cry, but started teasing her to make her laugh.
When Rachel Berry calls him 'Noah' it kind of, sort of, almost gives him chills.
----
He's pretty sure Sue Sylvester felt her spine tingle when Rachel walked onto the football field, because all of the sudden she's watching Rach walk up to the bleachers with this look on her face which clearly states 'Nothing good can come of this.' Bitch was nuts.
It's about seven minutes later and Puck and Kurt are sitting on the bleachers (football practice is starting soon) watching Ms. Sylvester's huge ass vein throb in her forehead as she watches Rachel out of the corner of her eye, like she's daring her to do... something. Neither is quite sure what.
Suddenly, one of the Cheerio's (one of the hot blond ones, Puck thinks) falls from one of those stupid lift things, and Ms. Sylvester whirls, pointing at Rachel, she shouts,
"You did this!"
Rachel's face is a fucking trip, and Sue is looking at her like if she tries hard enough, just the thought of Rachel dropping dead will actually make her drop. dead. At this point Kurt is a looking little anxious, Puck guesses he's thinking that she actually could kill Rachel with her mind. "You did this!" She shouts again. "Detention! For the rest of your natural born life!" Puck is pretty sure that she is 100% serious.
"Chill, nutcase," Puck says, at the same time Kurt mutters, "Ten points from Gryffindor!"
Sue rounds on him, and he thinks, shit, she fucking heard that? "What was that, Puckerman?"
He clears his throat and does this grimace/smirk thing and says, "I said it's not her fault," which he thinks is a lot more politically correct than saying, 'I think you need to see a shrink, get put on a ton of anti-psychotic pills, take some time off to become a semi-sane person and then maybe move far the fuck away because you are crazy as shit.'
The vein is throbbing again. "Detention!" She barks, and he nods, 'cause yeah, whatever, he expected that. He's pretty sure Berry's going to have Schuester get her out of hers (again) so he'll just pull a guilt trip and tell her to do the same for him.
Kurt is sitting their with his eyes bugging out because he is fucking terrified of Sue Sylvester and Puck sort of chuckles, which makes Sue notice, and round on Kurt, then. "Detention!" Kurt's jaw drops and he blurts,
"Excuse me?! May I ask why?"
Sue's lips curl, and Kurt nods. "Right, yes, detention, of course. I could use a detention for more horrifying behavior." Puck fights his grin 'cause this shit is priceless.
"Leave the field. You're curses! Bad luck, all of you!" She orders.
Puck rolls his eyes and pulls Kurt towards Rachel by his shirt. Rachel gets up as they near her and says, very loudly, "She's more insane than I am," which makes Puck laugh because he's knows that she's actually really not that crazy at all, and it's kind of awesome that she jokes about it.
"Come on, Berry," Puck grins.
"Thank you for defending me, Noah," she smiles at him.
He just shrugs, "'S'cool. She's apeshit anyway."
He doesn't like the way Kurt is looking at him.
------
They win Regionals and nobody is surprised that Rachel is acting like she's fucking high. He's pretty sure she basically is. Winning is Rachel Berry's drug of choice, and the effect is always incredibly hot.
She flings herself into his arms at the end of their set and they're laughing and whooping and he just looks into her eyes and she's looking into his and its really fucking intense which is kind of the norm with Rachel. He pulls back suddenly, and shakes his head like he's trying to clear his mind from all the dirty thoughts (as if that's possible).
Then Finn is hugging her and yelling, "We won, Rach! We won!" And she's smiling at him. Finn's eyes go all soft and he looks at her and says, "We wouldn't have without you, you know. You're like… the glue," he says as if it makes any fucking sense, but Puck gets it 'cause he's learned how to speak Finn. "I don't think half of us would still be in Glee if it weren't for you. I know I wouldn't," he's grinning at her and Puck's fist clenches. "So. Thanks."
Finn's kind of shuffling his feet then and suddenly he just leans in and fucking lays one on her. Her eyes look shocked for a second and then Finn pulls away. "I've been wanting to do that," he blushed. "See if it'd be different than it was back when everything was so screwed up."
"Was it?" Rachel asks in a small voice.
"Yeah," Finn breathed.
Rachel's touching her lips and looking at him when she says, "Oh."
Puck leaves stage left.
-----
Kurt finds him at the bar in the hotel and orders some fruity ass drink before sitting next to him.
"You're in love with Rachel," he says, and it's a statement, there's no need to question it.
"Yeah."
"You're also an absolute idiot," Kurt says.
Puck laughs, "That too."
"You know she's been wanting you to kiss her for like, months," Kurt says, nonchalantly.
"Wait, what? She's into Finn, dude."
"Please. You have noticed that she spends about ninety-five percent of her time with you, have you not?" Kurt rolls his eyes. "How much of the left over five does she spend with Finn?"
Puck's feeling a little breathless when he realizes it's like, fucking lower than one. He hops up from his seat, tripping over a table a little as he says, "Gotta, uh, gotta go, Beyoncé," and when he reaches the exit he calls, "Thanks, dude!"
Kurt just rolls his eyes. "Dumbass."
-----
He makes a point to flirt with her after that. He makes it clear that he is so, so interested. Apparently Rachel Berry isn't familiar with that because she doesn't really seem to notice.
He's walking with her to Biology and totally laying out some of his best lines and getting nothing. He blows out a breath, annoyed. "Rach, look." She stares at him and he continues. "I don't know how to like," he grimaces. "Do this. But. You're like.." He trails off.
"I'm like what?" She asks, amused. "C'mon, let's get our seats," she says, attempting to pull him into class.
"Well, for one, you're fucking clueless," he starts, and she looks at him incredulous and is about to retort when he says, "No, look, not like that. Look, okay, I've been flirting with you for the past two weeks with no response! The fuck?" He asks.
"You were - You acted exactly the same, Noah," she says.
He rubs the hair on the back of his neck, frustrated. "I like you, okay? I like you. I think about you way too fucking much and not all of it is dirty which is just weird at least for me, and you're like - you're amazing. You're gorgeous and sexy and so fucking funny and your favorite movie is Lethal Weapon," he says, in awe. "Do you know how cool that fucking is? And, you get me. Like, you know me and it's so confusing because I hate it when people know shit about me but with you it's like, I just want you to know more until you know like, everything. I think I'm going fucking nuts, Berry. And I'm pretty sure it's your entire fucking fault. So what I'm saying is, I want you. I want to go out on stupid dates and I want to hold you and touch you and kiss you because I can, because I have a right to kiss you 'cause you're mine. I want-"
"Okay."
He exhaled loudly. "Okay?"
"Okay," she said, grinning. "When does all of this start?"
He answers that stupid question with the hottest kiss ever. He doesn't even hear the catcalls and he doesn't give a shit that the whole school is watching as he sticks his tongue down Rachel Berry's throat, he just hopes they get the message.
She's mine.
Fandom: Glee.
Pairings/Characters: Puck/Rachel, appearances by Finn, Kurt, Sue and Mrs. Puckerman.
Genre: Friendship/Romance.
Rating: R.
Summary: He almost lost his shit when she told him her favorite movie was Lethal Weapon. When she followed that up with asking if he wanted some blueberry pie he made the official decision that Rachel Berry? Was fucking awesome.
****
They had become friends after Sectionals. Nobody was talking to her (besides Matt and Mike who were indifferent); most of the club seemed to think she ruined everything by opening her mouth. (But what else was new?) Nobody was talking to him because, well, he had been a douche.
It was two weeks after Sectionals that he realized that Rachel Berry was probably the only person besides his mom and sister that knew him enough to know that he wasn't. (He thinks that has to mean something.)
So he asks if the whole friends offer still stands and she beams at him, and he's a little confused about why he smiled back. He doesn't usually smile.
-----
It takes him exactly a day of being friends with Rachel to realize that she's actually a pretty cool chick. She's not literally crazy. Just like, intense. She even listens to more than just musicals and Xtina. She likes shit besides music, too, which he never would have fucking guessed. He always figured that a Rachel Berry without music was a dead Rachel Berry. One could not exist without the other.
That was until they went at least a day without her mentioning music, or glee, or Kristen Chenoweth. (He was kind of worried that she was like, broken or something.)
He almost lost his shit when she told him her favorite movie was Lethal Weapon. When she followed that up with asking if he wanted some blueberry pie he made the official decision that Rachel Berry? Was fucking awesome.
-----
They eat lunch together now which should be weird but isn't. They started off in the cafeteria but between everyone glaring at Rachel (Seriously, why did the entire school hate this chick?) and Finn glaring at Puck while looking longingly at Rachel (He doesn't understand why that pisses him off so much) they decided to just eat on the bleachers.
He thought it was pretty sweet that they took this place that had been kind of a bad place for them and made it like, their fucking sanctuary or some shit. He brings Red Vines occasionally 'cause she loves that shit but only agrees to eat it like, once a week because she will legit eat the whole. fucking. bag. When he asks why she didn't want any once and she said something about her figure which he told her is fucked up 'cause her figure is hot. She always brings in some sort of awesome baked good that she made the night before and gives it to him, and he always forces her to eat some of it. He's pretty sure she secretly is grateful for that which totally amuses him. If she's forced to eat something, she can't whine about ruining her figure. He did.
He's never missed a lunch with her. She's only missed one (for a Doctor's appointment her fathers scheduled) and he sought her out the next period when she got back, itching for one of her cupcakes. She started acting like she didn't know why he was there and teasing him about not having one, and he couldn't deal so he searched her.
He realized about three bites into his huge-ass cupcake that she was flirting with him. He wondered if she realized it (for some reason that was really important for him to know).
-----
He breaks his mother's heart when he tells her about the baby, but Rach told him it was the right thing to do. (He doesn't know when he started believing like, everything that came out of her mouth).
His mother is furious. It takes two days for her to actually speak to him. When he tells her that Quinn doesn't want him to be a part of the baby's life, told her that she thought he'd always be a Lima Loser, he tries not to meet her eyes.
"Well, then she's an idiot," his mother says dismissively. "A true idiot. Is that why you're not with Rachel anymore?" She asks, curious. "You know, that young woman thinks you'll go places," She nods. "So will she."
Puck tries not to roll his eyes. "No. That's not why. Rachel doesn't feel that way about me, 'Ma. She's," he pauses. "We're friends. She's… my best friend."
His mother has this look in her eye that's like a secret. "I'm glad you have her, Noah," she says. "She's a wonderful girl."
"Yeah," Puck murmurs. His mother's eyes have a glint to them while she watches him eat his potatoes.
"And she's Jewish!" Mrs. Puckerman says with relish from the kitchen door. "Oh, Noah, couldn't you have slept with her instead?"
"Jesus, 'Ma!"
"Noah Elijah, I know you did not just speak like that in front of your mother," she throws him a scathing look. Fuck. "You're grounded. Two weeks, no visitors." she says with authority. She puts her plate in the sink (he takes the hint - do the dishes).
"Oh, but Rachel may visit as much as she likes!" She throws over her shoulder as she leaves, and he just laughs. Woman is nuts.
-----
They re-watch the Lethal Weapon movies together during his grounding, and once they're through with those they move on to others. She always makes a different type of popcorn (cheddar, caramel, peanut butter, ranch, and a mind-blowing cookies and fucking cream) and he always makes sure Sarah gets exactly none on the days that she's stupid enough to bug him when Rach is over.
When the grounding is over he finds himself kind of missing it. They decide to do a weekly movie night, which usually would be totally lame except who wouldn't do it for some of that popcorn? Shit, he can't be held responsible for his food cravings. (He fights the thought that it's a Rachel craving and locks it away.)
-----
She goes to the theatre with Finn once. Puck was really fucking confused by the annoying feeling in his stomach and the taste in his mouth. He sits on the Berry's porch for two hours waiting for her to get back. When she pulls in (they drove separate cars) and they walk inside, she tells him she hopes he wasn't waiting long. He shrugs and says that it's cool; he just got there like two minutes ago.
Her dad is grinning at him all knowingly and shit and he wishes he could ask the dude what the fuck he knows and if he could explain all this shit that's going on in his head to him.
It's when he sees Finn kiss her for the first time and automatically punches a locker that he realizes that maybe he might not have only friendly feelings for her.
When she pulls away real fast with this 'I'm sorry' look on her face he's pretty sure he's never been more relieved.
-----
When Quinn lost the baby he kind of broke. He wouldn't talk or acknowledge the fact that yep, he was fucking crying.
Her small hand slipped into his and he felt instant warmth. He choked out a sob as she pulled his head to her chest. She didn't tell him it would be okay because she knew that wouldn't help and for a while it wouldn't be.
She didn't make him talk about it or ask him every five minutes if he was okay, and he thinks that's because she knew he wasn't. He kind of likes that.
She stays with him all night and for the most part it's quiet. When he notices that she had been crying too, he loves her for it. He asks what's wrong, and she shrugs and smiles weakly and says, "I just wish I could bring her back for you."
His chest feels all tight as he looks at the honesty on her face and realizes that nobody's ever given as much shit about him as this tiny girl in front of him does.
------
They're walking down the hall a week later when some douche on the hockey team is running his mouth about how his baby girl was lucky she hadn't been born to a loser Jew and an overrated Christian. "Imagine how fucked up their kid'd be," he laughs.
He was about to punch the guy out but Rachel beat him to it. He watched open-mouthed as she punched the guy in the face (girl is a fucking mystery) and threatened the dude while berating him about what a douche he was. Puck's pretty sure the second part scared the asshole more than the punch (which was fucking terrifying, too).
The dude looks at his teammates who are all looking at him and kind of snickering and is stupid enough to say, "Whatever, Ru Paul."
She beat him to that punch, too. (He made it up to the douche bag later.)
-----
He wakes up at two in the morning after having a dream about Rachel. He knows it's a dream because contrary to what he's previously told the McKinley High population, chick does not actually hide in boys' closets. Also, it's a Thursday and she only wears jeans on the weekends. (He loves weekends.)
Dream Rachel climbs through his window (again) with her tight jeans and her tight shirt and her tight body looking all secretive (it's so beyond hot) and smiles at him, and he knows she thinks he's sleeping.
She kisses his forehead and he feels his heartbeat speed up. He wills himself to fight off the pull of the pussy. He knows people that have fallen for Rachel Berry's crazy ass trap. He will not become some love-struck dope.
The dream shifts and she's hiding under his bed when he comes home from the pool, she thought he was his mom. He hops up and sits on the edge of his bed, and she's wearing his favorite fucking skirt (it makes him so hot). It's the one she wore when she was cleaning Slushy off his lame ass. She hadn't noticed his hard on at the time but it was there. Her skirt was especially short that day and he remembered teasing her about how she'd worn it just for him, hadn't she? She'd just blushed and hit him playfully.
It was the lip biting that gave her away. (He got off good after putting that in the rotation.)
So she's got that skirt on and he sits next to her. Then she folds her knees together, like she's trying to make sure he can't see up her skirt even though he's like twelve feet taller than she is and sitting next to her, not on the floor. Then for some reason he's kissing her neck and crazy just pounces on his ass and he's sure he's never been more turned on. She's straddling his lap and he's just as aware as he was the first time she was on his lap wearing this skirt that it's too short to cover her like this, and it's riding up her thighs (just like his hands) so he knows that there's only her panties and his swim trunks keeping his junk from touching hers. This launches him into wondering what type of panties she's hiding under that tiny skirt. She's getting him so hot and she's fucking gorgeous with her full, pink, bruised lips and he loves that he made them that way. She's making this mewling noise and he wants her.
The dream is changing again. He's sitting behind the bleachers with her, and she's looking adorable and sexy at the same time (which he used to think was impossible - until her). He kisses her face and she laughs and says 'I love you' and he grins and tells her the same. The feeling in his stomach is awesome and he knows she put it there. He loves it, this feeling.
Then they're on her bed in her fucking Polly Pocket versus Strawberry Shortcake bedroom and she's half naked and breathy when she says, "No, I want this. I want you." And fuck, how is he supposed to say no? He kisses her again, smiling all the while.
He's thrusting into her but something is different about this. It's not off, it's not bad - it's a good different, one he can't explain. He watches her and she looks so good. She's moaning and then she tells him she loves him and he comes.
Then he wakes up. He's pretty sure this dream is a huge fucking problem.
He thinks he should be more annoyed.
--
The first time someone called him 'Puck' he punched the douche in the face and said, "My name is Noah, asshole."
It was reflexive. Instinctive. When his mother came to the principal office to find out the details, she recognized his outburst for what it meant (do not confuse me with the man who made my mother miserable).
Yeah, so 'Noah' makes him sound like a total pussy. He doesn't give a shit.
(It's the name his mom gave him - the one that matters. She's the hero in this story.)
He was fourteen when he saw his mom cry for the first time, besides their traditional Jew guilt trip slash movie night. She was clutching a necklace and sobbing.
She's the strongest person he's ever met and for a minute he didn't understand how she could cry. It almost seems like that wasn't a capability for her. She's tough. She carries all of her problems, and his, and Sarah's. She has the weight of the world on her shoulders and doesn't even blink.
He hugged her and wiped the tears from her eyes awkwardly. It's what she did for him when his dad left. "You're too pretty to cry like that, 'Ma," he joked half-heartedly.
"Crying is good for the soul, Noah," she smiled at him. "Crying is healing. I'm just trying to heal."
She fell asleep on his shoulder (she had worked over her hours because her replacement hadn't shown). He folded her into the couch and laid a blanket over her, tucking it under her chin.
"Love you, 'Ma," he said, kissing her forehead. He watched as a small smile appears on her face. He promised himself he'd work harder to make that smile bigger, and permanent.
When Rachel Berry calls him 'Puck' it sounds wrong. He doesn't understand it - he is Puck. He created Puck; he became Puck.
Maybe that's why it sounds so off.
Maybe it's because she knows that Puck is just the douche that doesn't give a shit about anyone and threw Slushies on her, and Noah is the boy that told her he wanted to see Niagara falls before he turned twenty-three when they played twenty questions. Noah is the boy that cried and clung to her when his baby girl died, and stopped teasing her to make her cry, but started teasing her to make her laugh.
When Rachel Berry calls him 'Noah' it kind of, sort of, almost gives him chills.
----
He's pretty sure Sue Sylvester felt her spine tingle when Rachel walked onto the football field, because all of the sudden she's watching Rach walk up to the bleachers with this look on her face which clearly states 'Nothing good can come of this.' Bitch was nuts.
It's about seven minutes later and Puck and Kurt are sitting on the bleachers (football practice is starting soon) watching Ms. Sylvester's huge ass vein throb in her forehead as she watches Rachel out of the corner of her eye, like she's daring her to do... something. Neither is quite sure what.
Suddenly, one of the Cheerio's (one of the hot blond ones, Puck thinks) falls from one of those stupid lift things, and Ms. Sylvester whirls, pointing at Rachel, she shouts,
"You did this!"
Rachel's face is a fucking trip, and Sue is looking at her like if she tries hard enough, just the thought of Rachel dropping dead will actually make her drop. dead. At this point Kurt is a looking little anxious, Puck guesses he's thinking that she actually could kill Rachel with her mind. "You did this!" She shouts again. "Detention! For the rest of your natural born life!" Puck is pretty sure that she is 100% serious.
"Chill, nutcase," Puck says, at the same time Kurt mutters, "Ten points from Gryffindor!"
Sue rounds on him, and he thinks, shit, she fucking heard that? "What was that, Puckerman?"
He clears his throat and does this grimace/smirk thing and says, "I said it's not her fault," which he thinks is a lot more politically correct than saying, 'I think you need to see a shrink, get put on a ton of anti-psychotic pills, take some time off to become a semi-sane person and then maybe move far the fuck away because you are crazy as shit.'
The vein is throbbing again. "Detention!" She barks, and he nods, 'cause yeah, whatever, he expected that. He's pretty sure Berry's going to have Schuester get her out of hers (again) so he'll just pull a guilt trip and tell her to do the same for him.
Kurt is sitting their with his eyes bugging out because he is fucking terrified of Sue Sylvester and Puck sort of chuckles, which makes Sue notice, and round on Kurt, then. "Detention!" Kurt's jaw drops and he blurts,
"Excuse me?! May I ask why?"
Sue's lips curl, and Kurt nods. "Right, yes, detention, of course. I could use a detention for more horrifying behavior." Puck fights his grin 'cause this shit is priceless.
"Leave the field. You're curses! Bad luck, all of you!" She orders.
Puck rolls his eyes and pulls Kurt towards Rachel by his shirt. Rachel gets up as they near her and says, very loudly, "She's more insane than I am," which makes Puck laugh because he's knows that she's actually really not that crazy at all, and it's kind of awesome that she jokes about it.
"Come on, Berry," Puck grins.
"Thank you for defending me, Noah," she smiles at him.
He just shrugs, "'S'cool. She's apeshit anyway."
He doesn't like the way Kurt is looking at him.
------
They win Regionals and nobody is surprised that Rachel is acting like she's fucking high. He's pretty sure she basically is. Winning is Rachel Berry's drug of choice, and the effect is always incredibly hot.
She flings herself into his arms at the end of their set and they're laughing and whooping and he just looks into her eyes and she's looking into his and its really fucking intense which is kind of the norm with Rachel. He pulls back suddenly, and shakes his head like he's trying to clear his mind from all the dirty thoughts (as if that's possible).
Then Finn is hugging her and yelling, "We won, Rach! We won!" And she's smiling at him. Finn's eyes go all soft and he looks at her and says, "We wouldn't have without you, you know. You're like… the glue," he says as if it makes any fucking sense, but Puck gets it 'cause he's learned how to speak Finn. "I don't think half of us would still be in Glee if it weren't for you. I know I wouldn't," he's grinning at her and Puck's fist clenches. "So. Thanks."
Finn's kind of shuffling his feet then and suddenly he just leans in and fucking lays one on her. Her eyes look shocked for a second and then Finn pulls away. "I've been wanting to do that," he blushed. "See if it'd be different than it was back when everything was so screwed up."
"Was it?" Rachel asks in a small voice.
"Yeah," Finn breathed.
Rachel's touching her lips and looking at him when she says, "Oh."
Puck leaves stage left.
-----
Kurt finds him at the bar in the hotel and orders some fruity ass drink before sitting next to him.
"You're in love with Rachel," he says, and it's a statement, there's no need to question it.
"Yeah."
"You're also an absolute idiot," Kurt says.
Puck laughs, "That too."
"You know she's been wanting you to kiss her for like, months," Kurt says, nonchalantly.
"Wait, what? She's into Finn, dude."
"Please. You have noticed that she spends about ninety-five percent of her time with you, have you not?" Kurt rolls his eyes. "How much of the left over five does she spend with Finn?"
Puck's feeling a little breathless when he realizes it's like, fucking lower than one. He hops up from his seat, tripping over a table a little as he says, "Gotta, uh, gotta go, Beyoncé," and when he reaches the exit he calls, "Thanks, dude!"
Kurt just rolls his eyes. "Dumbass."
-----
He makes a point to flirt with her after that. He makes it clear that he is so, so interested. Apparently Rachel Berry isn't familiar with that because she doesn't really seem to notice.
He's walking with her to Biology and totally laying out some of his best lines and getting nothing. He blows out a breath, annoyed. "Rach, look." She stares at him and he continues. "I don't know how to like," he grimaces. "Do this. But. You're like.." He trails off.
"I'm like what?" She asks, amused. "C'mon, let's get our seats," she says, attempting to pull him into class.
"Well, for one, you're fucking clueless," he starts, and she looks at him incredulous and is about to retort when he says, "No, look, not like that. Look, okay, I've been flirting with you for the past two weeks with no response! The fuck?" He asks.
"You were - You acted exactly the same, Noah," she says.
He rubs the hair on the back of his neck, frustrated. "I like you, okay? I like you. I think about you way too fucking much and not all of it is dirty which is just weird at least for me, and you're like - you're amazing. You're gorgeous and sexy and so fucking funny and your favorite movie is Lethal Weapon," he says, in awe. "Do you know how cool that fucking is? And, you get me. Like, you know me and it's so confusing because I hate it when people know shit about me but with you it's like, I just want you to know more until you know like, everything. I think I'm going fucking nuts, Berry. And I'm pretty sure it's your entire fucking fault. So what I'm saying is, I want you. I want to go out on stupid dates and I want to hold you and touch you and kiss you because I can, because I have a right to kiss you 'cause you're mine. I want-"
"Okay."
He exhaled loudly. "Okay?"
"Okay," she said, grinning. "When does all of this start?"
He answers that stupid question with the hottest kiss ever. He doesn't even hear the catcalls and he doesn't give a shit that the whole school is watching as he sticks his tongue down Rachel Berry's throat, he just hopes they get the message.
She's mine.