Sidoni 07
Yesterday was a fucked up day.
Real fucked up.
It started out good though. Wheatie came home late cause he ended up running into the wren, and they had a nice talk. She'd made me another drawing, of the Tidecutter this time, and it was just as gorgeous as alla the others. I had to go back to the city to take care of the ship anyhow, since I was taking the company up to Northrend, and I was looking around fer Mairynn. We found each other -- she was hanging around the Harbour -- and ended up chatting a bit. There's a whole lot of shit I wanna ask that girl 'bout, but we ain't really get around to it. We just chatted. I'm gonna take her out on the Tidecutter in the spring so she can see all the whales and porpoises what come out when the waters run warm.
She's sweet. And strong. I think she's hiding a lot behind them sparkling eyes and pretty smile, but I ain't gonna pry too much. I'm only now starting to spill my guts to Llew; I know how long it takes to build up trust when ya been hurt.
I feel right strange when I think 'bout how I were her age when I met her daddy. I keep thinking about some rogue man twice her age laying Mairynn down in a tent after knowing her a few hours and I wanna fucking keelhaul him. But look how it's worked out fer me.
Llew found us and then he ran off for a few to grab us some lunch. While he was gone, I told the wren an old fairytale my mum used to tell me, 'bout a narwhal and a seahorse. Reckon Mairynn liked it right good cause she got to snuggling up against me with her head on my shoulder. That girl ain't my kid, and she ain't my baby sister, and she ain't really nothing to me and yet she's coming to mean a whole lot, and coming to be summat real important. I just wanna keep her near and keep her safe, and she makes Llew so damned happy.
So we were all just sitting there on the pier having a nice lunch, chatting about things. The two of them got to talking about books and school and I reckoned that were a nice time to excuse myself to finish preparing the ship fer sailing North. I kissed Llew right on his lips and Mairynn was gigglin 'bout it, but she ain't mind, and then I went up on board feeling like I just found the lost treasure of Crestfall.
I found one of Llew's books in the cabin 'cept it had some shit in it I ain't sure he wanted Mairynn to see, so I went up on the quarterdeck to peek back at the two of them and ask him, only it turns out fucking Bryn was right there. With them. The second I walked away, she musta come walking up. Here's the thing: I'm trying real hard not to hate the girl. I'm trying real hard to stay just as sweet and relaxed as I were when I first met her and I knew Llew loved her but I'm failing at it. The sight of Llew with Mairynn under his arm and Bryn sitting there like she was the one having lunch with them all along... it fucking infuriated me. I ain't told him to keep her away, I ain't told him nothing, but he keeps making it clear he still loves her and then the two of them keep getting together when I ain't around and then she was snuggling up with Mairynn and it just makes me feel real ... violent. Like she's strutting around my deck and sleeping in my cabin.
Llew caught me on the quay before I made it to them. I was debating whether I was gonna punch Bryn's fucking lights out fer hurting him or whether I was just gonna kiss the breath outta him, and decided on the latter. I grabbed his ass so good and tugged him in and kissed him like I ain't seen him in days... and he fucking shoved me away and told me not to act like that in front of his daughter. I coulda killed him. I really coulda. It ain't had shit to do with the wren, it was cause Bryn were right there, cause I'd just kissed him in front of his daughter and he ain't minded. He dragged me down the pier and we started screaming at each other.
And I mean really screaming. I asked why he cared 'bout Bryn's feelings so much more than mine and why he were willing to grope her in front of me at the Keg, and he threw some bullshit 'bout Hektor in my face, and I lost it. I laid into him right good 'bout how Bryn looks like she could be his kid and at least ain't no one was gonna confuse me and Hektor like that. Then he said I'm "fucking crazy" in the head. He said I own him and he'd bend me over right in front of them and fuck me if that was what I needed to get myself straight. It pissed me off so much I kneed him right good in the thigh and tried to get away before I couldn't hold myself together anymore and started crying.
Then next thing I know he's tired of being mad, I'm tired of being mad, we're talking all sweet and snuggling and I swear by Neptulon's balls there ain't no one what gets to me in all the ways Llew does. He wanted me to go back down the pier and be with the kids, but I had to take care of the ship still so I done made my way back on board. I ain't even remembered to ask him about the books. It ain't matter.
Soon nuff, everyone from the company was on board and we were on our way North. Miss Moira came along, some real quiet woman named Miss Hawkins who ain't said a word to me, a guy wearing a mask (my boys ain't like that at all, they said he had summat to hide, I told em if they were so scairt of a fucking piece of cloth they had bigger things to worry 'bout), and this worgen by the name of Shepard Lovells. He's a real piece of work for such a young one and I like him just fine. And of course Wil was back aboard, and the boys were real happy to see him cause he was such a pleasure to have on the last trip. Llew and me were kinda tip-toeing around one another cause we was still angry, but once we got up to Valiance Keep we kinda calmed down a bit.
Then we all took gryphons to Frosthold, an' it was fucking COLD. Not just chilly, but right freezing. Llew and me pitched our tent but it took awhile cause we got into wrestling in the snow, and Wil just 'bout caused an avalanche on top of us when we threw snowballs at him too, but it was funny and we had a good time. Ain't know if anyone else was having so much fun, but my boy was laughing his guts out and we was both so cold and wet with snow by the time we got our tent up that we just hid out inside and spent some time getting warm.
Everyone else was asleep when we left again and went out fer a lil walk. We huddled up against some trees, looking over the landscape, and got to talking. About his last trip north, 'bout Mairynn, 'bout our favourite colours.
And about getting married.
About making me Sidoni Wheaton.
***
Logs:
Sid & Mairynn having lunch; Llew joins, Bryn joins. Llew & Sid get into a massive screaming swearing match.
Idle Hands crew in Frosthold. Snowball fight!
Sid & Llew having a heart-to-heart. IN THE MOUNTAINS.
***
Real fucked up.
It started out good though. Wheatie came home late cause he ended up running into the wren, and they had a nice talk. She'd made me another drawing, of the Tidecutter this time, and it was just as gorgeous as alla the others. I had to go back to the city to take care of the ship anyhow, since I was taking the company up to Northrend, and I was looking around fer Mairynn. We found each other -- she was hanging around the Harbour -- and ended up chatting a bit. There's a whole lot of shit I wanna ask that girl 'bout, but we ain't really get around to it. We just chatted. I'm gonna take her out on the Tidecutter in the spring so she can see all the whales and porpoises what come out when the waters run warm.
She's sweet. And strong. I think she's hiding a lot behind them sparkling eyes and pretty smile, but I ain't gonna pry too much. I'm only now starting to spill my guts to Llew; I know how long it takes to build up trust when ya been hurt.
I feel right strange when I think 'bout how I were her age when I met her daddy. I keep thinking about some rogue man twice her age laying Mairynn down in a tent after knowing her a few hours and I wanna fucking keelhaul him. But look how it's worked out fer me.
Llew found us and then he ran off for a few to grab us some lunch. While he was gone, I told the wren an old fairytale my mum used to tell me, 'bout a narwhal and a seahorse. Reckon Mairynn liked it right good cause she got to snuggling up against me with her head on my shoulder. That girl ain't my kid, and she ain't my baby sister, and she ain't really nothing to me and yet she's coming to mean a whole lot, and coming to be summat real important. I just wanna keep her near and keep her safe, and she makes Llew so damned happy.
So we were all just sitting there on the pier having a nice lunch, chatting about things. The two of them got to talking about books and school and I reckoned that were a nice time to excuse myself to finish preparing the ship fer sailing North. I kissed Llew right on his lips and Mairynn was gigglin 'bout it, but she ain't mind, and then I went up on board feeling like I just found the lost treasure of Crestfall.
I found one of Llew's books in the cabin 'cept it had some shit in it I ain't sure he wanted Mairynn to see, so I went up on the quarterdeck to peek back at the two of them and ask him, only it turns out fucking Bryn was right there. With them. The second I walked away, she musta come walking up. Here's the thing: I'm trying real hard not to hate the girl. I'm trying real hard to stay just as sweet and relaxed as I were when I first met her and I knew Llew loved her but I'm failing at it. The sight of Llew with Mairynn under his arm and Bryn sitting there like she was the one having lunch with them all along... it fucking infuriated me. I ain't told him to keep her away, I ain't told him nothing, but he keeps making it clear he still loves her and then the two of them keep getting together when I ain't around and then she was snuggling up with Mairynn and it just makes me feel real ... violent. Like she's strutting around my deck and sleeping in my cabin.
Llew caught me on the quay before I made it to them. I was debating whether I was gonna punch Bryn's fucking lights out fer hurting him or whether I was just gonna kiss the breath outta him, and decided on the latter. I grabbed his ass so good and tugged him in and kissed him like I ain't seen him in days... and he fucking shoved me away and told me not to act like that in front of his daughter. I coulda killed him. I really coulda. It ain't had shit to do with the wren, it was cause Bryn were right there, cause I'd just kissed him in front of his daughter and he ain't minded. He dragged me down the pier and we started screaming at each other.
And I mean really screaming. I asked why he cared 'bout Bryn's feelings so much more than mine and why he were willing to grope her in front of me at the Keg, and he threw some bullshit 'bout Hektor in my face, and I lost it. I laid into him right good 'bout how Bryn looks like she could be his kid and at least ain't no one was gonna confuse me and Hektor like that. Then he said I'm "fucking crazy" in the head. He said I own him and he'd bend me over right in front of them and fuck me if that was what I needed to get myself straight. It pissed me off so much I kneed him right good in the thigh and tried to get away before I couldn't hold myself together anymore and started crying.
Then next thing I know he's tired of being mad, I'm tired of being mad, we're talking all sweet and snuggling and I swear by Neptulon's balls there ain't no one what gets to me in all the ways Llew does. He wanted me to go back down the pier and be with the kids, but I had to take care of the ship still so I done made my way back on board. I ain't even remembered to ask him about the books. It ain't matter.
Soon nuff, everyone from the company was on board and we were on our way North. Miss Moira came along, some real quiet woman named Miss Hawkins who ain't said a word to me, a guy wearing a mask (my boys ain't like that at all, they said he had summat to hide, I told em if they were so scairt of a fucking piece of cloth they had bigger things to worry 'bout), and this worgen by the name of Shepard Lovells. He's a real piece of work for such a young one and I like him just fine. And of course Wil was back aboard, and the boys were real happy to see him cause he was such a pleasure to have on the last trip. Llew and me were kinda tip-toeing around one another cause we was still angry, but once we got up to Valiance Keep we kinda calmed down a bit.
Then we all took gryphons to Frosthold, an' it was fucking COLD. Not just chilly, but right freezing. Llew and me pitched our tent but it took awhile cause we got into wrestling in the snow, and Wil just 'bout caused an avalanche on top of us when we threw snowballs at him too, but it was funny and we had a good time. Ain't know if anyone else was having so much fun, but my boy was laughing his guts out and we was both so cold and wet with snow by the time we got our tent up that we just hid out inside and spent some time getting warm.
Everyone else was asleep when we left again and went out fer a lil walk. We huddled up against some trees, looking over the landscape, and got to talking. About his last trip north, 'bout Mairynn, 'bout our favourite colours.
And about getting married.
About making me Sidoni Wheaton.
***
Logs:
Sid & Mairynn having lunch; Llew joins, Bryn joins. Llew & Sid get into a massive screaming swearing match.
Idle Hands crew in Frosthold. Snowball fight!
Sid & Llew having a heart-to-heart. IN THE MOUNTAINS.
***