Thinking too much
If I sit, by myself, I'm left alone to think. Is this a bad thing, or can it do some good? I don't know. Is it good that I hear things or just discover how awful of a person I am? Sure, people may say that I'm a good person, but listening to the things I've done, how can I be?
I started to think yesterday morning that maybe my life was going to start again. Well, in a way, that was true, because I'm stuck in this same miserable place, this so called existence. The difference this time is that I can't escape in drugs. At least back then I could pretend that I was happy, and for a time, I was... I actually got used to being alone. But now, knowing what I was missing and knowing that it won't come back... I can't stop crying.
I can't be truly happy, but I can live through each day. If that's making myself "happy", then I can do that.
You told me to move on. You've said repeatedly that you're done with us. I love you too much to keep doing this to you Sarah, so I'll stop trying. I'll do nice things only because I want to, and not necessarily for you. I can stand on my own two feet. I'm so sorry, not just for ending this relationship, but continuing to hinder your life by hoping. I'm so sorry.
I started to think yesterday morning that maybe my life was going to start again. Well, in a way, that was true, because I'm stuck in this same miserable place, this so called existence. The difference this time is that I can't escape in drugs. At least back then I could pretend that I was happy, and for a time, I was... I actually got used to being alone. But now, knowing what I was missing and knowing that it won't come back... I can't stop crying.
I can't be truly happy, but I can live through each day. If that's making myself "happy", then I can do that.
You told me to move on. You've said repeatedly that you're done with us. I love you too much to keep doing this to you Sarah, so I'll stop trying. I'll do nice things only because I want to, and not necessarily for you. I can stand on my own two feet. I'm so sorry, not just for ending this relationship, but continuing to hinder your life by hoping. I'm so sorry.